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What are you telling people?



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Only a small group of people know. I think a total of six, maybe. It's very personal. The weight isn't flying off such that I look crazy. People see that I've changed my habits and that I work out. So, when I have been asked I say: I made a big decision to make better choices about taking care of my body. I don't eat fried foods, drink alcohol, consume sugars or eat large portions. That's pretty much it.

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People figure it out on their own. They eventually notice the weight loss, then you take a couple weeks off work, then you lose a bunch more weight. They put it together.

I told the people who I thought needed to know, and among those I was especially close to, I explained why. Everyone else just eventually assumed, but they were always too polite to mention it unless it was by accident.

I briefly contemplated shaving my head before surgery to see if people at work would freak out when I got back and think I had a round of chemo, but I decided that would only be funny to me. I settled for telling people who saw my original work picture that I had been stung by a bee just before the photo was taken, just to amuse myself. Amazing how many people believed that.


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I'm kind of annoyed with my mom right now about this subject. When I first told her that I decided to do it she was happy and she asked me if I was going to tell people. I told her that I wasn't but if someone asks me I may tell them. So what does she do? She tells me last week that she told some of her girlfriends. I'm so upset but I haven't said anything to her yet. I know I need to before she tells anyone else. I've only told my parents and two close friends. I just feel this is personal and private and it's only for me to tell people if I want to.

As a mum it's also her story and concern - maybe that is why she shared it with friends ?


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As a mum it's also her story and concern - maybe that is why she shared it with friends ?



I found out after the fact that my mother had told a lot of people, mostly because she was concerned and needed to talk it out with people.


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I told the people i HAD to tell. My husband told people I barely knew that were his friends. I was a bit upset actually. I didn't really even want to tell my college aged kids. They were pretty judgemental about it. Everyone else seems pretty supportive. But honestly, if your life doesn't depend on mine(ie kids and husband), you aren't "need to know". My mom also told my brothers, who i really only see at Thanksgiving and Christmas. All this to say, if someone asks me how I am losing weight now, I do say I had a sleeve. Before surgery, I didn't really tell many people, mainly because i was afraid of failing. I know a bunch of people who have and it scares me to death!

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I told my husband 1 of my 4 kids my boss and 2 friends. My husband had rny 11 years ago. He wasn't telling anyone but immediate family and his dad and brother took it upon themselves to tell all extended family. He gets weird looks and comments like he did it the easy way. I wanted to avoid that. I told my kids I was having surgery in my bile ducts and also a haiatal hernia fixed (truth) and that I am on a physicians supervised weight loss program.


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I've told the important people the truth. Their opinions aren't going to make me healthy my surgery is. If they chose to be negative so be it. I'm going to be 51 in August and have been overweight for well over 20+ years and I've had enough.
The way I see it they're either with me on this or not. They can make believe I'm not overweight but I'm not doing it anymore lol
I told my kids their wives the grandkids and my hubby and a few close friends. Most are pretty cool with it. My family is 100% supportive and they're all that matters..
Sorry if I came across as harsh but I'm happy and confident in my decision and not going to let anyone around me bring me down.
It's a shame that we should feel the need to even make excuses. Honestly if you needed your appendix removed to save your life or some other organ people would support you and send prayers. The moment they hear weight-loss it's an issue and it shouldn't be! This surgery is also saving our lives. It's sad that others don't see it that way.
Removing 80% of my stomach isn't the easy way out. It's a last resort to live healthier and longer. For some of us it means no more meds for chronic diseases that could result in death... Sorry for the rant I just can't deal with negative people that don't have any knowledge of what WLS entails or why we are taking these steps.
Good Luck to all on their journey. Much love!


I can handle people being afraid for their loved ones, but when someone calls it the easy way out I have this strange urge to spray them with a garden hose.

They don't know anything about it, and if they feel the need to judge, well, to hell with them.


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90% of the time when someone comments or asks about my weight loss I tell them I had surgery. Their next question is bypass or Lapband? I explain about the sleeve gastrectomy and answer any other questions they have. Everyone has been happy and express congratulations with how great I look and feel. A few have even asked for my surgeon's contact info...including my OB/Gyn who wanted to pass it on to other patients.
The end result of my openness is a better educated person who can now tell their friends "yeah, I know someone who had weight loss surgery and she looks great!" For me, it's been so much easier than lying and telling half-truths. If anyone is talking negatively behind my back, I don't know about it and wouldn't care anyways. For the 10 % I don't tell about surgery, those are usually clients that I don't particularly like and don't really want to have any sort of non-business related conversation with.

Agree Kindle! I've been open and honest with everyone. It's not an easy journey, there's a lot of work throughout this entire life process. I've had nothing but encouragement and support from my family, friends and others.

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That makes it easy enough to keep it private. I couldn't cuz I was 300 lbs over my goal weight when I began and I lost it so fast in the beginning I couldn't have kept it private but I was ok with that cuz I fought soo hard to get my surgery done with insurance...I'm almost at the 200 lb weightloss 15 months post op

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