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what do I tell my boss?



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Im mot a secretive person but I am a private person. I work doing direct care for mentally disabled individuals and the employees at my job love to have something to talk about. Im scheduled for Aug 18 (I just found this out this past week) so I know its time to tell my boss so he has ample time to find coverage for my shift. My boss got the lapband.. he didnt tell me that I just heard through the grapevine. I really dont want to tell him what I plan on doing only because he has sat and talked about other employees & their business to me, so I dont want him to have any info on me to gossip about. Its funny bc you would think it would be easier to talk to your boss who has also gotten weight loss surgery.. but its not my case.

I just need some ideas of what I should tell him without going into detail. I know I will let it be known that its personal. Also, what does your guys doctor notes say? Will it say I am getting weight loss surgery? Helo!

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Hi and congrats on your choice for being healthy , my doctors note said that I am under my doctors care for medical purpose and I will be off until a certain date it did not say for what because it is none of their business and they can not ask you what it is because it's against the law.

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you don't HAVE to tell him WHAT you are doing, but you do have to disclose on FMLA forms that you are taking time off for 'care of my own serious medical condition'.

so if you don't want to share details, you can just tell him you are needing time off for surgery, and the other poster is correct, by law they aren't supposed to be able to ask WHAT type of surgery. it's surprising though, that many people don't know that!

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Ask your surgeon. Maybe she can give you a medical reason for surgery that you can use. Gall bladder surgery, or hiatal hernia repair? You know your boss is going to ask, so be prepared with a canned response. I won't tell anyone either except my immediate family, and they are sworn to secrecy. I don't want to deal with the nay sayers and the back lash. It's just nobodies business. I will say this though, if your boss has any intelligence he/she will assume that after you lose a lot a weight you had bariatric surgery. Too much of a coincidence that after surgery you lose a lot of weight, especially with someone who has been through the process. However, that being said, they see you everyday so it won't be for awhile that they really know something is up. For me, hiatal hernia surgery was my excuse. Since having that repaired I'm just not hungry as much. That's ma story and I'm stickin to it!

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Since gastric sleeve was originally for the treatment of ulcers. Stick to that if he insists in needling you. That will also deal with all the weight loss you'll experience.

If he asks why you never said anything. Before. You're a cleverly private person who doesn't like her business put out there.

But remember you are protected by FMLA. if you are taking a medical leave you do not owe him any explanation at all. Your job is protected. That's why I didn't want to take a vacation. No protections.

I think you're being very "nice" and considerate to tell him anything at all. I would just say that you've realized after discussing with your physician that you will be on a medical leave and will be filing appropriate paperwork. And tell him dates. If he asks, you'd rather not say it's very personal medical information protected by HIPAA and FMLA rules. And that's it

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Thank you everybody for your responses. I understand that in the first few months that I lose majority if my weight it will become kind of ibviius.. but I already been showing signs of dieting so maybe ppl will still just mind their business lol.

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Since your boss is a man, tell him you have female issues. Guys don't like delving into that area. Or mention some intestinal distress. No one likes to gossip about your bowels. But really, its none of his business. If he asks just state that the procedure is personal and you prefer not to talk about it.

Edited by Forsythia

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Similar to another's post, people at my work know that I've been loosing weight and eating right (I don't like to call it a "diet"). I've told people I'm having thyroid surgery. I have thyroid issues as it is which has also contributed to weight issues so it felt simple to lump these aspects and coincidences of weight loss together.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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