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Had to put on hold...now moving forward even through the grief



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I went to my initial consultation in May. But my dad had a heart attack, and when they were putting in the stents, found out he had pulmonary fibrosis. He was in the hospital for a week and missed my daughter's high school graduation. He did come home and was at home for 5 days, before the ambulance had to be called to take him back to the hospital. That was on June 11. He was in the hospital for 10 days, and we all missed my niece's wedding. He passed away on June 20, surrounded by his wife of 52 years, both of his children, daughter-in-law, two of his grandchildren, and several other family members.

I had decided when he first got sick to put the surgery off, then I found out when my insurance changes September 1 that the new company will not cover the surgery. I was going to go ahead and try to move forward with the appointments and helping care for my dad. Once he passed I just couldn't think about it for a few days. But with the encouragement of my mother and immediate family members, I am now moving forward.

I have 2 of my 3 classes scheduled next week, as well as an appointment with a physician to get a letter of recommendation. The following Thursday I have my physch eval scheduled, and my third class the following week. I'm waiting patiently to hear from the NUT to schedule that. Getting everything done ASAP as I'm hoping I can get surgery scheduled before I have to go back to work mid-August. I really don't want to have to take any time off work.

I've thought about having this surgery off and on for years, but honestly the remarks from people I would talk to about it, turned me away from it. I had finally decided I wanted to have it done, and the fact that my dad was supportive of my decision, helped me so much. So, not only am I having the surgery for me, and now having heart issues on both sides of my family...but I'm also having it in remembrance of my amazing father.

This post is not to get words of sympathy...it is to tell my recent story. And for me to look back on and encourage me in the future.

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You have every reason right there to be a total success at this.

Grasp the bull by the horns and go get 'em tiger!

:)

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Im sorry to hear about your loss my prayers go out to you and your family. I am glad that you have decided to go forth and have your surgery you deserve to be healthy and happy and I am sure that your father would want that for you as well. You can do this , stay focus on one day at a time and you will be successful. keep us posted my friend.

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I went forward with my WLS plans full steam ahead after I, too , lost my father. Though he passed quickly from cancer, he struggled with diabetes , heart and respiratory trouble , arthritis all associated with obesity through the second half of his life. I feel in my heart that I did this for both of us. My condolences on your loss .

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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