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Right now I'm struggling a bit because I don't have a surgery date yet and I haven't started my doctors pre-op stuff yet. That all starts next week. And for the first time since I can remember, I'm not on a diet. I left weight watchers in tears a few weeks ago when I had gained more than I had lost since I started and I just didn't see the point of going back. That's when I decided it was time for a major change.

I'm told I could have the surgery as soon as august because my doc and I have documented so many attempts at weight loss. But that's not official yet. So now I'm in limbo. On one hand I'm so ready to start a healthier lifestyle. But on the other hand there's this voice in the back of my head saying that soon I'll be on a liquid diet and so I should allow myself to eat "normal " and guilt free for once. So I go back and forth between fat free everything and pizza. It's this wierd cycle of entitlement (why shouldn't I be able to eat that pizza? It's the last pizza I'll be eating in a LONG time) and guilt (if I'm going to be healthy I should start now) and it's driving me nuts. I'm sure I'll be on some sort of diet next week, but for now I'm just hoping that someone out there knows what I'm talking about and has some words of wisdom because I'm not sure how I should be dealing with this mentally

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First of all, as you'll learn while getting nutrition help pre- and post-op (hopefully) fat-free food is a load of BS, so don't bother. Anyway, that being said, I personally found having food funerals helpful. I didn't go overboard or binge or anything, but I didn't police myself, I ate certain things "one last time," and enjoyed being a foodie, knowing that the meaning of food in my life would soon change forever. I did gain about 5 pounds, but I lost that within the first four days of the pre-op low carb diet, and I found that having the food funerals gave me closure. Not everyone needs that or finds it helpful. Not everyone is planning to be as strict post-op as I am and hope to continue to be. So it's a personal choice, but whatever you choose, don't feel guilty about it. You've already made amazing progress by deciding to have surgery.

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i had food funerals. i had decided at one point that i wanted to change as much as possible post op and i really intend to not eat many of the foods that got me to my highest weight..

that said, i absolutely had a massive food addiction and couldn't just NOT eat, because in addition to addiction, i had a MASSIVE sized stomach that demanded to be filled.

so i had several food funerals. went out with the family, dates with the hubs. i had all the foods that i really don't know if i'll ever eat again. it was fun, and at the same time very cathartic, because i KNEW going in to each of those restaurants it would be a long time before i ever came back- and i would be eating very differently.

i agree with the fat free stuff, just leave it alone. generally, fat free items have MORE sugar added to them, because if you remove fat, you have to do SOMETHING to give it flavor. generally that something is sugar. your nutritionist will encourage you to avoid fat free stuff post op, and forever. good luck!

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Girl, I hear ya! I have had several "food funerals". If it helps, everyone I have talked to says that their tastes changed dramatically after surgery so that they actually crave the healthy stuff! I certainly hope this is the case for both of us. I find making small changes here and there are adding up to be big changes. Like, switching to low-cal salad dressings, drinking Water instead of sweet tea, doing 10 minutes of cardio and gradually building up the amount of time, etc. I believe trying to make a bunch of huge changes at once can be a recipe for disaster, at least for me. At any rate, I wish you all the best and know you are going to do great. Keep seeking out support. We can't do this alone!

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Right now I'm struggling a bit because I don't have a surgery date yet and I haven't started my doctors pre-op stuff yet. That all starts next week. And for the first time since I can remember, I'm not on a diet. I left weight watchers in tears a few weeks ago when I had gained more than I had lost since I started and I just didn't see the point of going back. That's when I decided it was time for a major change.

I'm told I could have the surgery as soon as august because my doc and I have documented so many attempts at weight loss. But that's not official yet. So now I'm in limbo. On one hand I'm so ready to start a healthier lifestyle. But on the other hand there's this voice in the back of my head saying that soon I'll be on a liquid diet and so I should allow myself to eat "normal " and guilt free for once. So I go back and forth between fat free everything and pizza. It's this wierd cycle of entitlement (why shouldn't I be able to eat that pizza? It's the last pizza I'll be eating in a LONG time) and guilt (if I'm going to be healthy I should start now) and it's driving me nuts. I'm sure I'll be on some sort of diet next week, but for now I'm just hoping that someone out there knows what I'm talking about and has some words of wisdom because I'm not sure how I should be dealing with this mentally

I'm right there with ya. My surgery is "tentativly" scheduled for Aug 5th and I've been going nuts with the food funerals. Mainly soda because I know that's one thing I can never have again. I'm actually glad I'm doing it though because I'm seriously getting tired of the junk and am craving healthier foods. I think (for me) it will make the transition easier. I won't feel like I deprived myself and therefore won't have it constantly on my mind.

BUT having said that, I still feel guilty.

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Its normal to have the last supper syndrome. I enjoyed all my favorite foods for a couple of months. There are at least two trains of thought on this:Enjoy it while you can (I miss not ebing able to pig out on comfort food) 2) the more weight you put on before surgery equels the more you have to lose after surgey. Personally , I would enjoy it while you can.

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I just started my three month supervised weight loss program prior to the pre-op liquid diet (4 days) my surgeon requires. The night before, I had my absolute favorite dinner to order in after work, a turkey club sandwich with extra mayo, waffle fries and a pepsi. Said goodbye to that meal that night.

I am planning for the night before my liquid diet to have my second favorite dinner from outside the house, a Wawa large turkey sub with extra mayo, potato chips and pepsi. I will say goodbye to the chips that night. (I already said goodbye to pepsi, but I will allow myself one more that night.)

I am looking forward to great changes. I'm also telling myself that I can have my favorite foods again if I want them post-op, in much smaller quantities. I don't think I'll want them though, because after 2 weeks of following a meal plan, my tastes are already changing a bit.

Just make sure you don't forget the guidelines your surgeon gave you, if any, about how much weight you need to lose to qualify for surgery. Don't lose sight of the prize!

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Thank you everyone! I feel much better. I gave myself a week to eat whatever I want without guilt. I am beginning to realize that these foods aren't as important as I thought they were. Unhealthy food gets old quick. I think it was just what I needed to be ready to start my new lifestyle post vsg in August!

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food funerals are for the weak. No one that is having this surgery is being asked to give up their favorite foods forever. If you feel the need to pig out one last time you haven't changed your mindset and aren't ready for this. Use this time to start learning new healthy eating habits instead of eating the food that made you the way you are today. All these excuses like closure are BS. If you can't go into this the right way you're not ready and won't be successful. Lots of people have had this surgery only to eat themselves back to the weight they were and them some. Get mad at these unhealthy trigger foods and go into the surgery on a roll. It will make life after surgery and making massive lifestyle changes much easier.

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Hallelujah! I'm not the only one thinking hard about food and what is the best approach. I just had a milkshake about a week ago and it was marvelous! I haven't had one in a few years and so I decided to go for it. I didn't feel guilty, but I did feel uncomfortably full, so I think I can call that particular craving done. I have about 4 weeks before I start my 2 week pre op liquid diet, so my plan is to treat myself maybe once a week to something that I know will be gone for a long time, maybe forever. I am planning to use this time to transition to caffeine free and sugar free drinks as well. Any other suggestions or tips you can think of in regards to saying goodbye to the unhealthy relationship to food?

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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