Beating myself up :(

[bellaaa_vita 28]

So for some reason today I lost self control...I put myself in discomfort by eating a hard sour dough pretzel ( the ones you buy in the bag from the grocery store)..sat so heavy in my stomach and made me burp for two hours straight and then my boyfriend and two friends wanted to go to Cheesecake Factory for dessert...and my boyfriend got Oreo cheesecake with a scoop of ice cream and I had a few bites of it...so not worth it and made me feel so sick...I don't know what got in to me..I am so strict with eating right and exercising regularly.. I am 3 months post surgery, 55lbs down weighing in at 201.8 ..I know we're only human and we all make mistakes...but I can't seem to let this go and stop obsessing over it..I feel like a failure to be honest...I feel like I betrayed my body ;( what do you guys do to get through this? I feel so terrible and ashamed of myself

[is it just me 80]

Personal I allow myself to have a cheat day once or twice a month........ I don't want to ever think Im on a diet or I'm not allowing myself to enjoy some foods so ever once in awhile I think it's ok for me to be human................... But don't get down on urself............ Things can be worse.......... .. I'm 7 months out and down 94lbs........... 6 lbs from goal.........

[IcanMakeit 1,319]

I'm sorry you feel so bad about your mistake. As you said yourself, we're all human. It's a rare person who never eats anything he/she regrets. Maybe if you are extra good to yourself for the next few days, say you exercise a little more diligently, or try a healthy activity that you didn't think you're capable of, then you can forgive yourself and move on.

[Kissifur 244]

I think it is important to take emotion out of eating, including regret. This is not a diet this is your life and one bite is not going to derail all your hard work. I know it's hard when we have failed so many times at so many diets but what's different this time is you have an amazing tool helping you. You will be fine get back on the horse and let yourself be "human".

[Kindle 8,667]

Kissifur, great post!

I eat "cheat" foods at least once or twice a week. Hell, this 4th of July weekend I've totally derailed...chips, apple pie, a margarita, and corn on the cob to name a few. But this is my life and I'm going to live it and never feel guilty about what I eat ever again. Like kissifur said, you've got to separate food and emotion. You can't let what goes in your mouth dictate your feelings....either good or bad.

[bellaaa_vita 28]

I'm going to try and take the emotion out of it, and just get back on the wagon...thank you everyone for your support and advice it is appreciated

[BabySheldon 158]

I agree with everything that everyone else has said ....my only two cents is, if you're going to indulge yourself, girl don't indulge yourself on something painful and upset your little tummy....do something that you enjoy and do it get it over with be done and move on..

Congrats on your weight-loss to date!

Shel

[LivingFree! 478]

So, at 3 months on a holiday weekend you ate some junk food. It was not a "mistake" and you are not a "failure." It was a choice. Yeah, it probably wasn't a great choice, but you'll make a different choice tomorrow that fits better with what you want your nutritional goal to be for the day. (The biggest reason it wasn't a GREAT choice is not because you "failed," it's because your sleeve is a little too delicate yet to be feeding it what you fed it!)

At 3 years, I am still "strict" with myself. But the difference now is that I don't look at food as "good" or "bad." Food is food. I allow myself junk foods, but I set weekly/monthly limits. For instance, once I've had fast food four times in the month, that's it until a new month. Or like ice cream because it was one of my hugest trigger foods. It is not allowed in my house ever again. But I can have it twice a month, as long as I have it out somewhere. I tell you this because there is no longer any "guilt" in eating these foods--guilt that I have carried my whole life over eating something that society calls bad--and it feels so good to be free of it. And you will be too. . .

[BabySheldon 158]

So, at 3 months on a holiday weekend you ate some junk food. It was not a "mistake" and you are not a "failure." It was a choice. Yeah, it probably wasn't a great choice, but you'll make a different choice tomorrow that fits better with what you want your nutritional goal to be for the day. (The biggest reason it wasn't a GREAT choice is not because you "failed," it's because your sleeve is a little too delicate yet to be feeding it what you fed it!) At 3 years, I am still "strict" with myself. But the difference now is that I don't look at food as "good" or "bad." Food is food. I allow myself junk foods, but I set weekly/monthly limits. For instance, once I've had fast food four times in the month, that's it until a new month. Or like ice cream because it was one of my hugest trigger foods. It is not allowed in my house ever again. But I can have it twice a month, as long as I have it out somewhere. I tell you this because there is no longer any "guilt" in eating these foods--guilt that I have carried my whole life over eating something that society calls bad--and it feels so good to be free of it. And you will be too. . .

I really like what you have said here....did you establish these parameters before, during or after you hit your goal? I like the idea.

Thx,

Shel

[LivingFree! 478]

.

So, at 3 months on a holiday weekend you ate some junk food. It was not a "mistake" and you are not a "failure." It was a choice. Yeah, it probably wasn't a great choice, but you'll make a different choice tomorrow that fits better with what you want your nutritional goal to be for the day. (The biggest reason it wasn't a GREAT choice is not because you "failed," it's because your sleeve is a little too delicate yet to be feeding it what you fed it!) At 3 years, I am still "strict" with myself. But the difference now is that I don't look at food as "good" or "bad." Food is food. I allow myself junk foods, but I set weekly/monthly limits. For instance, once I've had fast food four times in the month, that's it until a new month. Or like ice cream because it was one of my hugest trigger foods. It is not allowed in my house ever again. But I can have it twice a month, as long as I have it out somewhere. I tell you this because there is no longer any "guilt" in eating these foods--guilt that I have carried my whole life over eating something that society calls bad--and it feels so good to be free of it. And you will be too. . .

I really like what you have said here....did you establish these parameters before, during or after you hit your goal? I like the idea.

Thx,

Shel

To answer your question, Shel, before surgery I had to take a long, brutally honest look at my habits that got me obese in the first place, and identify them (on paper). For me, it was 1) eating fast food for EVERY meal, 2) Ice cream, 3) any kind of baked goods (cupcakes, cakes, cinnamon rolls etc) from the fresh bakery at the grocery store or frozen stuff, 4) M&M & Snickers, and 5) Cookies (pkg kind or fresh baked). So my first step was to commit to removing these specific things from my life COLD TURKEY. Did I think I could ever possibly do it? Not in a million years, but my resolve was strong, and my sleeve certainly helped me keep my commitment. It makes me proud to say that none of these things have been in my home since surgery, and will not be ever--and the most amazing part--I do not miss them! (I do allow a small amount of more WLS-friendly treats in my home, just NOT these former JUNK FOODS that I associate with the reason I became OBESE.

For year one, I was SUPER STRICT with myself because I am the kind of person if I allow myself to have "just a little" junk food, I am not in control, so I spent that year really learning nutrition and "cementing in" my new eating habits so they became routine and familiar. It wasn't until about the 18 month-2 year point that I started allowing myself "treats" in this measured weekly/monthly plan. It just has worked so well for me because I NEVER feel "different" from non-WLS people, and never feel deprived, because I can choose my favorite treats, as long as they fall into the pre-planned weekly/monthly schedule I have set up for myself.

I made my monthly chart (I call it "My Contract with Me," laminated it, and have it on my refrigerator to keep track for the month. For instance, I list each treat and then put a square "check-off box" or boxes next to it. So, ice cream has two checkoff boxes next to it; Starbucks has two checkoff boxes, Quest Protein bars has three boxes, etc. I just use a dry-erase marker and check off the box each time I eat one and I can always see at-a-glance what I have left to treat myself for the month.

Anyhow, that's kinda it in a nutshell. Hope this gives you some ideas that you and/or others can adapt for your own circumstances.

[kd5wzr 108]

On the other hand, you look way hot in your avatar photo, so I say you're still coming out ahead.

Nobody wins every battle. It's winning the war that matters.

[Mxmom740 9]

Remember that tomorrow is a new day.... and that you are human. Learn from what you did yesterday. That is my mantra...I'm 6 week post Lap-Band conversion to VSG. Down 26 lbs. in 6 weeks & only 24 lbs. from my goal weight (I started at 211 lbs. w/ my band & 185 lbs. w/ my VSG). Best of luck to you!!!! You can... and will....be a success!

[bellaaa_vita 28]

Thank you everyone for your support..I too am someone that needs to cut treats and junk out completely because if I have a little, I too lose a little self control...in the beginning I never treated myself..3 months out and im starting to treat myself and in my opinion it's dangerous for me...I don't trust myself lol so back to healthy *treats* and continuing with my exercise routine! Feeling much better after reading all of your posts...I am so grateful for this app and all of the lovely peeps that came with it! xo

[bella328i 91]

I personally do not think you need to beat yourself up over a pretzle and a bite of cheesecake. Now with your "tool" you only ate one pretzle and a bite of cheesecake instead of a whole piece! Kind of a win! What made us fat was eating big portions not just a bite.

[BabySheldon 158]

To answer your question, Shel, before surgery I had to take a long, brutally honest look at my habits that got me obese in the first place, and identify them (on paper). For me, it was 1) eating fast food for EVERY meal, 2) Ice cream, 3) any kind of baked goods (cupcakes, cakes, cinnamon rolls etc) from the fresh bakery at the grocery store or frozen stuff, 4) M&M & Snickers, and 5) Cookies (pkg kind or fresh baked). So my first step was to commit to removing these specific things from my life COLD TURKEY. Did I think I could ever possibly do it? Not in a million years, but my resolve was strong, and my sleeve certainly helped me keep my commitment. It makes me proud to say that none of these things have been in my home since surgery, and will not be ever--and the most amazing part--I do not miss them! (I do allow a small amount of more WLS-friendly treats in my home, just NOT these former JUNK FOODS that I associate with the reason I became OBESE. For year one, I was SUPER STRICT with myself because I am the kind of person if I allow myself to have "just a little" junk food, I am not in control, so I spent that year really learning nutrition and "cementing in" my new eating habits so they became routine and familiar. It wasn't until about the 18 month-2 year point that I started allowing myself "treats" in this measured weekly/monthly plan. It just has worked so well for me because I NEVER feel "different" from non-WLS people, and never feel deprived, because I can choose my favorite treats, as long as they fall into the pre-planned weekly/monthly schedule I have set up for myself. I made my monthly chart (I call it "My Contract with Me," laminated it, and have it on my refrigerator to keep track for the month. For instance, I list each treat and then put a square "check-off box" or boxes next to it. So, ice cream has two checkoff boxes next to it; Starbucks has two checkoff boxes, Quest Protein Bars has three boxes, etc. I just use a dry-erase marker and check off the box each time I eat one and I can always see at-a-glance what I have left to treat myself for the month. Anyhow, that's kinda it in a nutshell. Hope this gives you some ideas that you and/or others can adapt for your own circumstances.

Thank you for explaining that ....this is really an outstanding way to allow yourself a structured sense of eating.... I would really like to incorporate something like this into my eating plan ....right now I'm at that phase where I'm at very close to goal and dying to get from weight loss to maintenance ....so I need to have some type of a structured transition and I tend to do better when I have a set of rules to live by.... I don't believe that I'm well enough to be allowed to make my own food choices without some type of guidelines..... I know better than to think that I'm able to do that at this point .....I've also noticed that I can eat a lot more food and that scares me to death, so something like this that allows permission for some indulgence is really really good for me thank you so much for sharing....you Rock!!!!!!

Shelby