"Why don't you just diet and work out?!?"

[mamaofmatthew 51]

I have had several people say "Why don't you just diet and work out?" How do you respond to this?? So annoying.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

"Oh my gawd! Why didn't I think of that?!"

Edited June 26, 2014 by LipstickLady

[par1959 470]

Exactly, why many of us dont tell others. Most people are ignorant when it comes to Bariatric surgery.

[Kindle 8,667]

I'd say why don't you GFY? But of course anyone that knows me wouldn't dare ask me that.

[BarntruckCutie 21]

I just tell them that Ive tried all the diets out there more than once and I do exercise, but Ive done my research and I am happy with my choice to get the sleeve. I am doing what is going to help me get healthy again! They usually hush up and don't bother me again with a statement like that! I don't hide the fact that Im getting bariatric surgery at all. Im proud and loud about it! LOL

Edited June 26, 2014 by BarntruckCutie

[Ima Fox 63]

I keep going back and forth over whether I will tell people the truth or lie. The people I know will ask directly if I had WLS when they notice I have dropped a significant amount of weight. I don't feel like I owe anyone an explanation, but I'm not necessarily inclined to lie. I would usually just tell the truth. But if someone starts with unsolicited commentary or morbid stories of death, I could possibly release the Cracken. No good would come of it. I think our principal had WLS, but when I asked her about her weight loss, she didn't say she did. She said she changed her diet. She dropped about 50-60 lbs over the summer, so....She obviously told a partial truth. I need to find a diplomatic response & practice it.

[InfiniteButterfly 438]

"Why don't you mind your own business?"

Although that would be rude.

I've been lucky in not getting any negative comments about my surgery (at least to my face. If someone wants to talk about it behind my back, oh well. They likely weren't a terribly good friend in the first place) Plus...if diet and exercise worked, bariatric surgeons would not be getting much business. It's not like everyone here hasn't tried both for years without success (or without lasting success)

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

No one has ever said that to me...I think because I would not be a very nice person if they did.....Just smile and walk away...Or you can bitch slap them for minding your business and not their own...lol

[Breaking Red 59]

So there are TWO definitions of the word PRIVACY. If you see it’s been around since 1400-1450. That’s at least 614 years. So privacy is NOT a new idea, but seems to have been lost in this day of complete blatant publicity with FB posts about every minute details of one’s life posted for the world to see and the supposed ‘reality’ shows to entertain us.

pri·va·cy/ˈpraɪvəsi; British also ˈprɪvəsi/ noun, plural pri·va·cies.

1. the state of being private; retirement or seclusion.

2. the state of being free from intrusion or disturbance in one's private life or affairs: the right to privacy;

3. secrecy.

4. Archaic. a private place.

Origin:

1400–50; late Middle English privace. See private, -acy

privacy (ˈpraɪvəsɪ, ˈprɪvəsɪ) — n

1. the condition of being private or withdrawn; seclusion

2. the condition of being secret; secrecy

3. philosophy the condition of being necessarily restricted to a single person

It is not LYING to exclude information from your PRIVATE life. Because someone asks a question does NOT mean you have to articulate every detail of your life. You are ALLOWED to keep information about your life, finances, family, thoughts, YOUR HEALTH and DIET to yourself.

I simply don't understand why people feel bad about keeping things to themselves. It’s an innate right to do so. We have the freedom of speech which means people can ask you anything they want. But with the freedom of speech also means you have the freedom to say nothing!!

I’ve also seen people suggesting that if you discuss the surgery afterwards you will appear to be dishonest with people. This is a HUGE life change for us that we are undertaking. You are ALLOWED the space and time to adjust to it without anyone’s advice, horror stories or often uneducated opinions about the surgery. If later once you feel comfortable and want to discuss it, do so. If someone thinks badly about you for taking the time, so be it. They probably don't deserve to be in your life if they cannot show some understanding and compassion.

OTOH, if you are screaming from the rooftops about the surgery…. AWESOME!! I am not suggesting either way is right or wrong. The only thing I am suggestion is that you do what is good for you and not allow guilt to force you to discuss something you aren’t ready to talk about.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

i have faced similar thoughtless comments when people found out i was planning or had had homebirths. "why would you be so risky? just go to the hospital!" "why cant you be like other people?" "how reckless!" the pre op nurse at the hospital started shrieking and yelling that i was crazy and how could any doctor "let" me do that. (it was kinda of amusing the watch her freak out like that)

i had canned responses. "thank you for your concern. my healthcare providers and i have decided this is a good decision for me." smile and then ask them a distracting question. people love to talk about themselves. if you get hooked into their emotional intensity about the issue, you are dead in the Water. the trick is to convey confidence in your decision and then move on. acknowledge they might be concerned (even if they arent, its a great tactic!), thank them and then act bored. if they ask more questions, just appear to be thinking hard and say, "i'll get back to you on that." if they persist, say, "i have to go meet my personal trainer." then leave or walk away.

in the homeschooling community we call this the "pass the bean dip move." "thank you for being concerned about my kids. they are doing great! pass the bean dip please." and either stop talking and look disinterested or ask them something banal. "how's your mother in law's bunions?" "did you hear about the cow that fell in the canal?" "i found a new book at the library on turning old tee shirts into dog toys! have you ever had a dog?"

non reaction is the best response.

[bikrchk 1,313]

No one has ever said that to me. If they ever did, while my head would be screaming GFYS, my mouth would be repeating, "This is a decision my doctor and I made together. Surgery is a tool to help me improve my health, so I CAN be active again." Which I very much AM now that the weight is off. Exercise was not a part of my life before because it was too painful, but about the time I'd lost 30-or 40 pounds, I turned a corner and was able to establish a healthy exercise habit.

I do not hide the truth that I've had surgery. You never know who needs to see the example that you have become. The person you are talking to or someone they love may need the information to save their life. And if they're not on my side in this, I really don't value their opinion anyway.

[Ima Fox 63]

Moonbright, I tried to have a homebirth (Water birth) the 1st time. Unfortunately I picked a bad midwife. I ended up going to the hospital where I got a good midwife. The next time I had great midwives, but they wouldn't let me give birth in the center because she was breech. Luckily, I found a Dr. who let me have her without a section. Whenever there is a pregnant teacher @ my school I tell them, call me if you go into labor & I'll catch your baby for you! They think I'm crazy, but I'm totally serious. I hope to catch my daughter's baby one day. You were so lucky to have a birth experience that was sacred instead of medical.