Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

My Mom has cancer



Recommended Posts

I was banded in Sept. 06. I feel I have been doing very well and have lost 52 pounds. My sister called me last week and told me that mam has stomach cancer. they went to see the oncologist yesterday. He says without chemo she has 3 to 6 months, with chemo 9 months.

My mother is 80 years old with a myriad of other health issues. I know that I have been blessed to have her in my life for the past 42 years. Many people, my DH included, have had their mother around for a lot less time.

I have always been a stress eater. I am craving sugar like I never have before. I have always been a chocolate eater and feel like diving into a bag of m&m's and coming up for air sometime nest month. I have tried to keep busy and exercise and stay away from the sugar, but whenever I stop I can hear it calling my name. Does anyone have any ideas on what else I can do to stay away from those evil things that slip through my band with amazing ease?

Lynne:think

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Awwww I am so sorry, you are having to go through this. I know it is eventually in my own future, and I have no idea how I will cope.

All I can suggest at this point, is , come here, and write it out. Let all the feelings and emotions, and cravings out by typing them.

I'm sorry I have no magic answers. Are you going to be able to go and spend some time with your Mom?

If ever you need to talk---look me up, I will PM you my #.

((((hugs)))) I really am sorry....

Kat

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lynne,

I am sooo sorry to hear of your mom = you are right -it doesn't matter how long we've had our parents -it is always devastating to hear that they are sick and heartbreaking to hear of her cancer. I'm sending you a big hug.

Gosh and if a few m&m's help - so be it - i think we have to look at the big picture here. But since you've been banded awhile my guess is you've had other emotional upsets (probably not at this level) and you've had to soothe yourself in other ways so maybe try to do other things to deal with this stress and grief. I like to journal, sit outside in nature, cry, scream, get my nails done - i don't mean to sound trivial as i know you are in a crisis but you have to be strong to deal with what's ahead and I'm betting you have a well of strength to draw on - just try to be open to other ways/things besides food.< /p>

most of all take care of yourself and your family = good luck! mary

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My mother has survived stomach cancer 3 times after the docs didn't give her long. She has now been cancer free for 8 years.

Keep the faith and enjoy every day you have with your mom.

My prayers are with you and your family

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lynne,

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I have no answers for you except to talk on the forum here as much as you need to.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Sallie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Spend time with your mum. Talk to her. You will discover that there is much that you will want to know about your family history and about how her life was when she was young. My mum died two years ago. I miss being able to ask her questions about her life. Maybe you and your kids/grandkids can figure out some way to video some of these sessions. Don't spend this time mourning her death for you will have ample time later. Enjoy this window of time which is available to you. All best from me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

<p>lynne, </p> <p>I WENT THRU WHAT YOU ARE GOING THRU WITH YOUR MOM THE ONLY THING IS THAT IT WAS MY GODMOTHER AND TO ME SHE WAS MY SECOND MOM MY ROOMATE MY EVERYTHING MY BEST FRIEND :lol: . WHEN THEY TOLD US SHE HAD ONLY 3-6 MONTHS AND SHE WAS GONE IN 1 MONTH 1 WEEK . I TOOK CARE OF HER ON THE WEEKENDS AND EVENINGS AND ITS SOMETHING VERY VERY HARD TO DEAL WITH . food WAS MY PRIORITY BACK THEN I DINT HAVE THE BAND . MY ADVICE TO U ITS TO MAKE A JOURNAL CRY WHEN YOU WANT AND LET IT OUT . FOOD WILL NOT COPE WITH THE PAIN BUT THERE ARE OUT THERE OTHERS THAT UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN AND WILL HELP YOU GET THRU WITH IT . HAVE COURGE OVER ALL MOM WOULD WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY .</p> <p> </p> <p>IF YOU NEED ANYTHING LET ME KNOW . I WENT INTO A LOT OF CHATS AND THAT HELP ME A LOT FOUND SOMEONE THAT WAS GOING THRU THE SAME THING AND SHE WAS WAY OLDER THAN ME AND GAVE ME LOTS OF ADVICE. IN THAT FACTOR I GAINED 25 POUNDS IN THREE MONTH I HAD MY SIATICAL NERVE PINCHED AND DEPRETION TO THE MAX . I COULD BE HONEST THAT WAS ALMOST 3 YEARS AGO AND I DINT GET OVER IT WILL NEVER BUT DEALTE WITH IT UNTIL LAST YEAR.</p> <p> </p> <p>BEST LUCK TO YOU AND MY HEART AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU AND YOUR LOVE ONES YOUR NOT ALONE AND DONT LET FOOD BE YOU RIGHT HAND LET GOD BE YOUR RIGHT HAND AND OTHERS THAT CARE FOR YOUR HEALTH . </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p>CLAU<img src="http://www.LapBandTalk.com/images/smilies/clap2.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Clap2" smilieid="217" class="inlineimg" /></p>

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank You all for your thoughts and prayers. My mother and My brother are going to come to Texas from Iowa next month. I was able to get the month of July (earlier if she starts having problems) off so I can take my kids( girls 3 & 5 ) up to Iowa then too.

I wish my kids could have more of a chance to know her. She is a wise, generous, courageous, and caring women.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hey lynne,

do you think you could make some audio/video tapes of your mom - maybe something you can share with your children when they are older? I made some tapes of my grandparents a long time ago and they are so treasured now. take care

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My dad had bowel cancer as well. He has passed away already and I know how this can really affect your weight. Be strong and enjoy everylast minute you have with her. We were told my father had 3 months to live and he lived almost three years. I dont think doctors can really say how long exactly some one has to live. As for your eating I think it is really important to let all your emotions and thoughts out if you bottle them up inside your gona want comfort food, so talk to a close friend of family member or jump on here and let it all out. I will pray for you and your family.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My Mom died last Wednesday. Instead of 3 to 6 months, she made 6 weeks. She died in her sleep. My sister was with her and was holding her hand. She said it was very peaceful. I miss her very much.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×