Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!
$99 Yearly Supply Alert! 🌈 "1 per Day!" Bariatric Multivitamins

No support from my husband and best friend!

supremeh

Recommended Posts

supremeh    30

supremeh
Posted

So recently I posted that I was starting my path to WLS again.I didn't want to tell my husband or best friend because last time I tried they did not support my decision.My first appointment with the surgeon is today. I told both of them and as usual they think I'm taking the "easy way out". What is easy about getting your stomach cut open???? My husband is really upset but says he is supportive,wtf!!! He thinks I'm going to die, or that I'll have complications, and he doesn't want to go to a support group meeting with me.I'm so frustrated, but I'm doing this for me, no matter what this time.I'll post a picture of me once I've come from my appointment along with my starting weight.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

shmily    424

shmily
Posted

I also used to believe it was the easy way out until I checked into it for myself. It isn't. Ask you husband if he could survive on the restrictions that you will have..

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

supremeh    30

supremeh
Posted

I also used to believe it was the easy way out until I checked into it for myself. It isn't. Ask you husband if he could survive on the restrictions that you will have..

You kno what,I love that!!!! I'm going to do just that!!#

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

greensleeve    457

greensleeve
Posted

Are they over weight too? I think spouses who object usually are scared that you will leave them when you reach goal.

Friends are usually threatened by your possible success.

I would talk to him about the actual numbers such as what your risk is from dying early due to obesity vs what the surgery risks are. If he is truly worried about your safety then he will at least listen to that. If he doesnt want to hear it, I would think there are deeper reasons like insecurity going on.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

supremeh    30

supremeh
Posted

Are they over weight too? I think spouses who object usually are scared that you will leave them when you reach goal.

Friends are usually threatened by your possible success.

I would talk to him about the actual numbers such as what your risk is from dying early due to obesity vs what the surgery risks are. If he is truly worried about your safety then he will at least listen to that. If he doesnt want to hear it, I would think there are deeper reasons like insecurity going on.

My husband is about 20 pounds overweight and my friend is bigger than me.and my husband has said things like u might leave him when I lose the weight

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

supremeh    30

supremeh
Posted

I am, things are better with him.he says he is scared of the risk of surgery but I keep trying to tell him the risk of obesity

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

greensleeve    457

greensleeve
Posted

I would just reassure him that you are losing weight for your you, not to find a new man. Tell him that you want to be healthier and feel better about yourself.

debeade reacted to this

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

supremeh    30

supremeh
Posted

Ok here are my stats

Bw: 302

Cw: 275.3

I have 5 more appointments before surgery

post-219935-0-91878700-1402416554_thumb.png

[ATTACH]45405[/ATTACH]

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

healthyme1963    136

healthyme1963
Posted

It sounds like your husband is concerned about the risks of major surgery. Encourage him to attend your appointments with you so he can ask the surgeon/nurse/dietician/PT all the questions that he has. If he hasn't been to an informational seminar, drag him to one of those as well. Once he understands the risks of the surgery vs. the risks of morbid obesity, he will probably relax a bit. Good luck! :)

debeade reacted to this

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Baconville    578

Baconville
Posted

I would have been ready for surgery a long time before I had it, but my husband was not on board and I wouldn't do it without his support. My weight got to a point that it was really effecting our lives. I lived on Advil and had constant knee and back pain. I tried to lose, but could not exercise at all. I finally convinced my husband to attend the informational seminar with me. We have gone though the process together. He was a bit overweight and has lost weight along with me. His support and encouragement have been a critical part of my success. If you have a healthy marriage, he should value your health, and he will come around. One thing that helped me was pointing out that they call it Morbid Obesity because it kills. If he wants you around to grow old with, he needs to allow you to have the surgery that will save your life. If you needed heart surgery, he wouldn't hesitate. This is really no different.

Good luck!

Carol

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

AshleePage    65

AshleePage
Posted

You always have us to support you & root you on! :)

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

supremeh    30

supremeh
Posted

Thank you everyone for your kind words.I told my husband last night about a cousin who had very negative things to say about my decision to have wls and he got angry.this morning he went to the store to buy the foods that I need for the liver reduction diet! I guess he saw that it was hurtful to feel like he was against me, so I hope it continues

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Go To Topic Listing PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    Bariatric Forums

    For Patients

    Health Professionals

    Search Surgeons

    Bariatric Surgeons: Want to research a weight loss surgery surgeon? Enter their last name below to start!

    ×