My almost nineteen year old sister just got the Lap-Band put on today. We don't live in the same town, but she is going to come visit me over Mother's Day weekend (with our parents).

What can I do to make my apartment more "friendly" to a person with the Lap-Band? Are there certain foods I should and shouldn't have in the house? What about meal time? I want to anticipate her needs so we can spend more time together, rather than spending time making emergency trips to the grocery store for stuff I should have gotten before.

Also, what can I do to let her know that I support her? I'm naturally average to smaller sized and she's naturally very large sized, and it's hard for me to understand what she goes through. Our culture doesn't accept big people, and it's hard not to let fat-bashers influence the way that I think and feel. I'm afraid of saying the wrong things. Also, I'm concerned that the Lap-Band won't help her that much, because she has always had very poor impulse control and she (and our parents) seem to think that this Lap-Band will magically make her lose weight. How can I encourage her and help to motivate her?

I just want to be a good big sister and help however I can.

Advice?

P.S. Thanks for letting me air my feelings.

You seem like a nice sister for wanting to help. My suggestion...talk to her. Ask her what she would like you to have in the fridge or offer to go grocery shopping together when she arrives.

As far as helping her stay on track during the visit...I know from my experience that social eating is my biggest hurdle still. When I'm off my routine and in a new environment I tend to forget the rules and get off track. So, again just talk with her. Otherwise, maybe plan some healthy Snacks to have around the house like fruit, lowfat cottage cheese, sugar free popsicles or sugar free fudgesicles and other stuff like that.

I don't know about your sister, but my philosophy has always been that I didn't want people to change their lives due to my problem. So, I would feel bad if someone didn't have any "junk food" around just because of me; however, I do appreciate it when someone takes a little care to try to have some healthier alternatives available for me. It shows they care.

Good luck with the visit!

LapBandit, THANK YOU for the advice. We already have low-fat cottage cheese and fruit in the house most of the time. Popsicles or fudgesicles for dessert are a good idea. You're right that I should talk to her (and I will, once she's in less pain--I talked to her earlier today, and she sounds terrible :phanvan).

It also occurred to me that I should talk to our parents, as she still lives at home and they'd know what she likes.

Other suggestions? What could I cook for Mother's Day dinner that has lots of Protein but not too much Fiber? I am a vegetarian, so no meat

I haven't been banded yet, so have no advice. However, I just had to tell you what a wonderful person you are to be so concerned about your sister's comfort and needs!

I don't live near my family, and after hearing today how my oldest brother snubbed my parents at a function last week, you really warmed my heart with your post!

Your sister is very lucky to have you!

You could make some creme of mushroom, black bean or broccoli and cheese Soup....any kind of hearty soup would be good. It really depends on what kind of diet her doctor will have her on post-op. usually by that time it's full liquids, which means nothing with a consistency heavier than baby food. Soft fruits like bananas or canned peaches and pears are good. Cream of Wheat. pudding. smoothies made with pureed fruit, yogurt and Protein. You get the idea. You shouldn't really worry about it too much, 'cause she may not even be that hungry. I had stocked up my pantry pre-op like the world was coming to an end....and here I am eating maybe 2-3 cups of food a day! I've got enough food here to last me 6 months!

I think you're a great sister for being so concerned. Just tell her you're proud of her,you know this isn't easy and you wish her the best of luck with her new band. That will be enough.

That's awesome that you are being so considerate and helpful. What a great sis you are!

Be sure to mention how great she looks when she arrives and through out the weekend. I am sure she will have lost some weight by then. All that positive attention should help keep her motivated.

I would also try and plan healthy activities. A walk in the park or around the block would be fun. Shopping may be a good thing too. It's great bonding time for sisters, plus you can help keep her motivated by looking at outfits that she'll be able to wear after she's lost some weight. Maybe even offer to treat her a pretty dress or some sexy jeans when she makes it to a goal. Just make sure you stay away from the food court!

A mainicure or pedicure might be just the thing too!

Thank you again for all the great suggestions!

TerriDoodle, I particularly like the idea of making a big pot of soup. Then my S.O. and I can have the leftovers during the week, after my family leaves.

Shesha, the weather is just starting to get nice where I live. There are many places to go on little hikes, and we also have an old-fashioned city center that's a pedestrian mall--both are excellent places for a little walking. I will definitely suggest a little stroll on both days!

One more question... her surgery was on Monday, and she's still in a lot of pain... yesterday she could only drink 6 oz, which is much less than she's supposed to... is that ok?!?! To top it all off, her health insurance is changing on Tuesday. I think I'm just being a little overprotective--my parents are there to help her--but because I live so far away, I feel totally helpless, that I can't be helpful... anyway...