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Blogging, my mother, my guilt and me



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If you write a blog post http://babeimsleevin.blogspot.com/2014/06/yesallwomen.html that implicates your mother but then you feel guilty about doing so, does that make it ok? :-) For those of you who also have deep baggage related to your weight from your childhood, how have you learned to cope with it?

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Some of my weight issues stem from childhood, but more stem from a positively evil, abusive ex that destroyed my self-esteem. I've written about it before, and I haven't the slightest shred of guilt. I've learned via therapy that sometimes the only way to deal with pain is to talk about it, whether with a therapist, or write about it in a blog, journal, whatever.

If you are trying to put the baggage behind you, then you need to acknowledge that it's there. And don't let it have power over you (that is so much easier said than done. It's 12 years since I left the abusive ex, and only now am I starting to heal enough that I could do this surgery for myself and understand that yes, I am worth it) Learning to cope is an ongoing process, and I am extremely grateful that my insurance is paying for me to continue seeing my therapist.

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Mine comes from 9 horrid years of a 12 year marriage that I walked away from 7 years ago. I was never an overweight child, never an overweight teen, but when I became emotionally and mentally abused, I self medicated with food.< /p>

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I agree with all of you that our life experiences affect how we "behave" (eg. overeating/stress eating) but ultimately, its up to us what we put in our mouth. I grew up in an alcoholic, abusive home then moved into a 30 year abusive marriage but I don't blame anyone for my eating. It's my choice.

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food was the only pleasure I had in life. My ex made me believe I wasn't worthy to live anyway so I didn't care what the food was doing to me. I had written out a will on more than one occasion. I was so brainwashed by him that I thought if I killed myself he and my son would have a better life. Thank God I woke up and left him.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. This update has no replies.
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