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Do you tell "new" people that you used to be heavier?



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So I was contacted by a principal from a different school for an interview at his school and as I've been weighing the pros and cons of leaving my current job, one pro that came up is that if I transferred to a different school none of my new co-workers would have been "there" during my weight loss transformation, so I wouldn't have people commenting/asking questions/drawing attention to my size anymore.

To my new co-workers, I'd just be a naturally trim person, not a former fat person, so there'd be nothing to "see" and oogle. Then I started thinking about as I meet new people in my life, do I plan to reveal or talk about my former self, or will I "pass" as if I'm just a healthy person who watches what she eats and exercises 3 times a week?

What do you all do? I feel like as time goes on and the "newness" of being thin wears off, I will probably tell less and less people about when I was obese because I'll feel so far removed from that person.

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I also want to change my job location due to the new transformation I will be embarking on. I've lost about 15 pounds now and my coworkers are noticing so I constantly hear "oh your loosing weight". So I know later it will get more irritating. Most importantly I don't want to share what I've done being that they are always asking now.

My advice to you is go for it. New beginnings!

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I am in a similar situation as I will be changing jobs in August. I personally am torn when it comes to this subject. One one hand it would be nice to enter a new work world, with new work people who have no idea my experiences/struggles with obesity. The other side of that coin is the fact that knowing how it is to struggle and dream about being healthy, active, and most importantly at peace (well I'm still working on this one) with my body, I want to share so I can help others who might be successful with the sleeve.

I will look for updates on this subject to see what others have experienced in similar situations. Good luck in getting your new job and best wishes for continued success with your healthy life!

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I would just leave it alone. I'm sure that at some point it may come up in casual conversation and you can choose to talk about it. Why make your weight, whatever it is the focus of you? I'm sure you are a wonderful, brave person with so much more interesting things about you than your weight.

Congrats on your new endeavor! :)

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I treat the topic of my weight loss surgery same way I treat talking about my college degree. If it comes up in conversation and someone asks me a direct question about it, I answer. I tell them, "Yep, I had the WLS surgery" and leave it at that. I leave it up the them to ask me more about it, if they are interested.

As an example:

I applied for a different position within my department - I'd have the same boss, just different responsibilities. I'd worked for him for 3 years. In the interview he remarked that he didn't realize I had a bachelor's degree. I replied, "Well, it's not like it is an everyday topic of conversation." It's not often that we discuss our education during the course of of doing our job. :D

And that's how I treat my WLS. If it comes up, I'll answer questions, otherwise I don't talk about it.

It's like discussing religion and politics in the workplace, the less I say, the fewer chances I'll stick my foot in my mouth!

And as I've said before, "You can always decide to tell them later. You can't un-tell them."

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Thank you all for the supportive remarks and for sharing your thoughts/personal experiences.

I agree that even though others make me feel like my weight loss is my most defining trait (moreso than my gender, race, religion, etc), I am so much more. Personally I'm tired of talking about it with anyone who isn't a close friend or family member (or my BP fam of course). If it comes up or someone sees a picture of me (like my wedding photo) then I guess I'll mention it.

I'm curious: do you feel embarassed of old pictures? I don't at this point.

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I'm 23 and when I made the choice to have the surgery I told myself I would keep it on the down low from my outer ring of coworkers and friends and just inform my close friends and of course family. I personally just respond to people who comment on my weight loss and say things like, "thank you for noticing" or when they ask how I did it I just simply reply "I changed to a healthier lifestyle of eating better and smaller and working out daily." It's the truth after all. Sure I had surgery to assist me but I do all the work myself. I usually don't get that many more questions after I make that comment. People only seem to care to inquire more about someone's weight loss when the method they are using is some magic pill or starvation diet. Basically looking for an easy way out. But it's a personal choice for everyone, my girlfriend tells anyone and everyone because she wants to spread the word and help as many people in their journeys as they can; I myself am more private and like to keep a low profile.

To each their own :)

Good luck!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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