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Edited by JustWatchMe

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Today I will put my youngest on a plane for her semester in Madrid. I won't see her in person until mid-May. This will be a test for both of us. She's off to have the adventure of a lifetime with several good friends. She will grow up a lot.

Momma here has a different test. Let it go. Let her go. Let go of worry. Let go of control. Trust in God. Trust in her.

I'm so sad for me and so happy for her at the same time. My challenge is to not medicate these feelings with food. Oh, that wouldn't happen today or even tomorrow when I put my eldest back on her plane for St. Louis. My danger zone will be next week.

Next week, when the stress is "behind" me. When both have safely landed and are settling in. When I can "relax". That's when the food and drink will call my name.

It is always that way. I get through the stress, or the crisis, or the happy exciting event just fine. Holding it all together. Maybe even lose my appetite completely for awhile. No urge to binge. I've got too much to do.

But afterward. In the vacuum of relief, or of restlessness, or of no feeling at all. Then I want to eat. And eat. And eat.

Not this time.

I'll be checking in here. I need all of you. I need my 12-step meetings too.

I've been in this head space before, and it's a dangerous place without a plan and without a support system. Thankfully, today I have both.

Thanks for being here and reminding me I am not alone and that I can do this.

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Today I will put my youngest on a plane for her semester in Madrid. I won't see her in person until mid-May. This will be a test for both of us. She's off to have the adventure of a lifetime with several good friends. She will grow up a lot.

Momma here has a different test. Let it go. Let her go. Let go of worry. Let go of control. Trust in God. Trust in her.

I'm so sad for me and so happy for her at the same time. My challenge is to not medicate these feelings with food. Oh, that wouldn't happen today or even tomorrow when I put my eldest back on her plane for St. Louis. My danger zone will be next week.

Next week, when the stress is "behind" me. When both have safely landed and are settling in. When I can "relax". That's when the food and drink will call my name.

It is always that way. I get through the stress, or the crisis, or the happy exciting event just fine. Holding it all together. Maybe even lose my appetite completely for awhile. No urge to binge. I've got too much to do.

But afterward. In the vacuum of relief, or of restlessness, or of no feeling at all. Then I want to eat. And eat. And eat.

Not this time.

I'll be checking in here. I need all of you. I need my 12-step meetings too.

I've been in this head space before, and it's a dangerous place without a plan and without a support system. Thankfully, today I have both.

Thanks for being here and reminding me I am not alone and that I can do this.

Good for you girlfriend. You know your danger zone and triggers. Knowing this will help you not to self sabotage. We are all here for you to help you through this tough time you are experiencing. Come to us, PM any one of us if necessary. This is why we are here...the posts are great things but to know there are folks out there who have your back is comforting and strengthening. Use that strength to get you over this hump.

I come to this site all the time to draw strength from you all and I always credit the folks on this site for my success because I know you all had a hand in it. I'm both happy and honored to pay it forward.

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We are here for you! And you have created an amazing life for yourself....a whole new way of being. So proud of you. And raising amazing daughters at the same time as resurrecting yourself -- wow! Way to go.

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Okay, it's midday in Madrid and she's at her host home, safe and sound! One down, one to go!

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Okay, it's midday in Madrid and she's at her host home, safe and sound! One down, one to go!

you'll be fine and she will be great. My cousin has twins. One left for England and the other Italy for their semester. When my youngest was in HS his friend's family always hosted a child from Spain. They treated that child during their junior year awful. He almost lived at my house. Then a few years later my 2 sons went to Spain and his parents couldn't thank my family enough for treating him so nicely. They are still friends and my sons are 36 & 40.

These days with Skype and other means you can talk for free.

Have a great day .

Arlene

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Thanks, Arlene. I was afraid I wouldn't hear from her, but at 4am my time, I was already getting text messages from her demanding j remove the Facebook photos I posted of her kissing me goodbye. "Delete those photos NOW! I look awful!"

That's my girl. All is well. I miss her already.

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Thanks, Arlene. I was afraid I wouldn't hear from her, but at 4am my time, I was already getting text messages from her demanding j remove the Facebook photos I posted of her kissing me goodbye. "Delete those photos NOW! I look awful!"

That's my girl. All is well. I miss her already.

I still get hell from my sons for things I post on FB. One day they will all do it to their kids. My sons have kids.

my sons loved Madrid and Barcelona. My youngest BFF went to school in Barcelona for his semester away and ended up living there for around 10 years teaching English and making huge money for a large company. He worked around 2 hours a day. He is now a DJ in gay night clubs in NYC.

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Love these posts! Arlene, let's go dancing! Gay clubs were such a a great dance outlet for me in the eighties. Fun times. In the last year we made friends with people who host monthly dance parties in a town not far from here. We've been to two and that's another NSV for me: dancing! We are definitely then oldest people but I can still tear it up. Thanks to my band and losing the two cinder blocks worth of fat.......

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I love reading these posts. We have to meet up...I want to spend a weekend with you gals, I really do. :)

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Now my eldest is sitting on a tarmac waiting for her plane to be de-iced. Gotta love Chicago winters. Not.

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Another step for her (and your) freedom. It a a step up in maturity when mom can't run on over and instantly help.

Love my boys. .... However I don't want to live with them !

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This was ME on NEW YEARS EVE , SON decided to stay up in the room , so I went out & danced & met people & before I knew it it was 4 in the morning , so I had a GREAT time in VEGAS.

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@@lisacaron

I hear what you're saying about the aches and pains of the cold. I never used to be bothered by winter (with exception to driving to and from work in traffic during a storm) but now I am just a miserable at times. I am freezing all the time and a new one for me this year is my skin. I am either putting lotion or gold bond powder on my back and stomach to keep myself from tearing my skin off. I don't recall it being this bad last year. I don't know if it is wind burn or chafing but it is driving me nuts. I guess these are just signs that I need to get the loose skin removed.

Stay warm my friends only 71 days till Spring!!

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Coconut oil on my skin, in my shakes and in my bath helps dry skin

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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