Really off track...

[BroadwayBaby 19]

I have been lurking back here for awhile but haven't wanted to post because I have gotten very off track and have gained back 30 lbs of the 60 lbs I lost from surgery. I had surgery in August 2011 with an initial weight of 241 and a surgery day weight of 232. I got down to around 180 in the 5-6 months after surgery and then stalled out. I stayed in the low 180's until December 2012 when I took a jump up into the low 190's. At the time I told myself there was no way I was going to cross the 200lb mark again. I was doing moderate exercise (I am kind of an all or nothing type of person when it comes to exercise) weekly and trying to stay on track with eating but my hunger - mainly carb craving -was very strong. I have PCOS and had been able to go off of Metformin after surgery but had to go back on it when I was in the 190's. My endo also put me on the pill to try to level off my hormones but it made me feel crappy so I stopped taking it. I was always very good about taking my Multi-Vitamin and VitD and Calcium daily but still ended up with a VitB12 deficiency & a VitD deficiency which my doctor gave me a prescription for. I had regular followups with my surgeon who told me that the sleeve only does so much and I needed to do it myself at that point. I told her that was troubling to me because I had tried and failed so many times to lose weight in the past and that if I was not going to get any help from the sleeve in the form of restriction that I didn't know what to do. She always meets very quickly with me and I kind of feel brushed off every time I go in. As I mentioned, restriction is pretty much gone. I can ( I don't regularly) eat 3 regular sized pieces of pizza and then feel full but that is about what I would have eaten before surgery and gotten full. I know I own a lot of this - I have fallen back into eating carbs & sugars and not eating Protein first. I went to see the psychologist who works with weight loss patients and he told me I am not caring for myself as much as I care for others. I am very regimented with my work, my family schedule, etc. and always leave my own health, etc. for last. I guess that is part of it but I also just feel unmotivated to exercise. I am very busy with my work,etc. and often as soon as the kids go off to school I need to get right to work. I could definitely find time to do something but honestly, I often just don't feel like it. Then I get mad at myself for eating too much and gaining weight.. I know that the common sense thing to do is to go exercise and plan out my diet. I've done it in the past and been successful for a time. I'm not sure why I have such a mental block on this. I'm upset with myself for "failing" and feel kind of hopeless that I can get back on track.. I'm also upset because I feel like my sleeve should be helping me more than it is.. It hardly feels like I was sleeved at all. If anyone has been through this and has suggestions I would appreciate it.

[Teachamy 1,042]

Thanks so much for sharing your story. It is a good reminder for all of us that the sleeve doesn't perform acts of magic or miracles. We are human, we are food addicts, and this can happen!

I'm an all-or-nothing type of person too. I am the type that can talk the talk, but the follow-through of walking the walk is a lot harder, especially if I am feeling overwhelmed. (As I do with housework, work in my profession, exercise, etc.) My advice to you is to start small. First, congratulate yourself for keeping your doctor appointments--it's not always easy, especially if you suspect a lecture is on the way. Secondly, you are taking your Vitamins (deficiencies happen--not your fault!) Third, you are AWARE of what is going on and your therapist is helping you to see why it's happening.

Start small. You are doing some things well. Keep up those habits. Now add in something small. Start by drinking your 64 oz. of Water daily, for example. That's it. Do it until it becomes routine. Don't sweat the other stuff, just Water, deal with water. When that becomes second nature, try some other small step, maybe starting your day with a Protein shake, or making sure you eat an appropriate snack 3 times a day so you don't ever get overly hungry. Again, a small step, not everything, just a step. Stay off the scale. If they weigh you at the doctor, turn away. Don't look. Small steps won't get you where you want to be right away but remember to focus on what is manageable as you look at the underlying causes of your eating habits. It's easy to become impatient, but I really think this is a good place to start. You are feeling overwhelmed and lost, so take a step.

I hope this helps. Again, thanks for sharing.

[swimbikerun 1,048]

I agree with the above. Start writing what you eat down into some tracker of some sort. That would help. Here is a big question: what size bougie did your surgeon use? I have never heard of any one being able to eat 3 slices of pizza at one time.

[BroadwayBaby 19]

Thank you both for your comments! I do need to track - I have had success with that in the past. I had a size 40 bougie done and I have felt limited to no restriction from about 5 months out. I have never thrown up after eating anything. I also think I can eat too much. I had an upper GI fairly recently to see why I was having reflux and need to follow up with my surgeon on it. I will start tomorrow by drinking more Water - definitely something I haven't been doing. Thank you so much for the encouragement!
K

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I agree, track everything... even if its junk. especially if its junk. Start there. I used the 5:2 to get off 22 pounds I regained... and to stay at maintinance. Do reach your Protein goals and water.... that will help so much. find out about 5:2 on the vets forum, I posted links thereto help others start out on it.its easy, and works for many vets with regain problems. Best of luck to you.

[Queen of Crop 1,104]

Try the 5:2 diet I always feel much better restriction on the day after I have eaten a light day. And only 2 days of restricted eating is pretty doable.

I also have a Fitbit and it's very motivating to me to get me to move. So you may want to think about that. All is not lost and good for you for coming back here! I needed to hear this too because I have gained about 7 lbs back and it is hard to get it off again. But we will!

[JeanZ_RN 378]

Congratulations on taking a very important step toward success - coming back to this site, where you can get answers and support.

There are 2 things you must do to start feeling the restriction again:

(1) Focus on eating dense Protein, and eating it FIRST at every meal. Carbs and sweets, and other slider foods, are guaranteed to leave you feeling less restriction than dense Protein. (2) If you have gotten away from the rule about no drinking from 30 min before to at least 30 min after each meal, you have to get back on track with that in order to feel the restriction.

The best way to get rid of the craving for carbs and sweets is to stop eating them. I realize that is much easier said than done, but keep in mind that the cravings will be totally gone after 3 days.

You can do it!! Best wishes!

Edited May 4, 2014 by JeanZ_RN