How do you find a balance? (#bodylove)

[ErinMarie 186]

So lately, I've been really into the self-love body/fat acceptance movement. The Fat Girl Dancing videos, The Militant Baker and her big FU to the guy from Abercrombie, the girls making the documentary Fattitude... Body positivity and fat acceptance is spreading at a faster pace than once before. I feel empowered when I read about these women changing beauty standards and as plus-size model Tess Munster says, #effyourbeautystandards. I want to be a fat girl that doesn't care that she is fat and wears mini skirts and crop tops and bikinis! I want to stop saying "when I get to this weight" then I'll wear this/do that/eat this/etc...and I've realized the only thing stopping me from wearing and doing what I want now is ME (and society, but mostly me).

But I am so torn between loving my body the way it is and wanting to accept it but at the same time desperately wanting to change it and be smaller so I can feel normal in the eyes of society and the image I have had of an 'acceptable' weight. How do I join the body acceptance movement without being the hypocrite with the WLS? How do you balance wanting to lose weight but also wanting to be okay with your body NOW? I feel so strange trying to push body and fat positivity while counting calories and feeling guilty for sitting all day at work instead of finding time to walk the stairs for some form of exercise.

Surely I'm not alone in wanting to accept my body and be proud to be fat...even though I don't want to be as fat as I am now? How do you find a balance as to not feel like a total hypocrite?

[HealthyNewMe 1,935]

I'm older than you, so take this comment coming from an older woman. I accepted myself "fatter," "bigger," "plus-sized,"..... however you want to say it. I wore bathing suits and went swimming during the summer....because I was hot and I wanted to swim. I wore shorts and short sleeves..... because I live in the Deep South, and frankly, it gets freaking hot down here. So, I accepted myself as was and I can truly say I probably still would have been accepting myself........ but then, I started to get to the point that my joints were hurting, I couldn't take care of my personal hygiene properly, my family vacations required frequent rest stops because I couldn't walk around and carry my 327 pound self all over a city or amusement park. I'm pretty sure diabetes and high blood pressure issues were in my future. So, I did this FOR MY HEALTH AND WELL BEING. Life is about balance.....you got that right. May you find the balance you are searching for!

[enjoythetime 1,457]

The decision to have weight loss surgery should not be based soley on what your apperance will be like at the end. Now don't get me wrong of course that's what we all hope for but that should be the added bonus, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The real reason one should decide to have WLS is to better their overall health so they can live to reach retirement age, being around to watch their kids grow-up, etc. I think the first thing you have to do is put apperances aside for a moment and ask youself how is my health? Do I have any current conditions caused from my weight or are there any lurking if I don't do something about it. Of course weight loss doesn't completely take away all your risk for diabetes or high blood pressure, I've got a friend that weighs 125lbs soaking wet and has diabetes but I guess what I'm trying to say is there are many factors that need to be considered when having WLS and going through the journey.

For the men and women out there who are comfortable being plus-sized and DON'T have any health issues from being that size then by all means rock it (that's seldom the case though). I love it when people are comfortable in their own skin regardless of size etc., but at the same time let's be honest with ourselves is this true happiness or just smoke and mirrors or is it a movement to try and get society to change their perception? Just because someone walks around in a bathing suit or a mini skirt doesn't mean they truly love the way they are, they may have accepted it to a point or maybe they're trying to convience themselves, what apprears to be one thing in the public spot light can be completely different from what's going on in the inside. It's called a coping mechanisim, a wall they hide behind not to get hurt.

Just because you're for people who love themselves regardless of size doesn't mean your a hypocrite because you had WLS it just means that you wanted to make a healthy lifestyle change. Just my opinion and you know what they say about those:-)

Best wishes!

Edited May 1, 2014 by enjoythetime

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,722]

i accepted myself as a super morbid obese person

i did not like it and so i sought assistance to help me..

i accept the fact that i am who i am ...no matter what the scale

says or does not say (struggled with that myself this past week)

and just because my clothes say this size does not make me

any less of person

we are who we are

and we are beautiful dammit

regardless of what the f**king scale says

[pink dahlia 2,513]

I dont think you're being hypocritical for wanting a healthy body, no matter what size you are, thin, or not. I think you have to look past the size and look at the health problems that can go with that size . By loosing weight ive eliminated my sleep apnea, digestive problems and cut my risk of cancer down considerably. ( a major risk in our family) . My late mother in law was diabetic, didnt manage it, overweight and so was confined to a wheelchair for her last few years of life, with a million medications to boot, and needed constant care. Sorry, but thats NOT going to be me, as I will go out kicking and screaming ! Im 55, and made a choice to live a healthier " rest of my life." I dont know what my final weight will be, but I do know it will continue to be a healthier, happier me. Id write more, but im off to my morning run. My best to you, have a great day !!!