Didn't plan this day too well

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Today was an "off" day for me. It started okay, but I used my very late lunch break to run an errand and not eat. I could have had my Protein shake back at my desk, but by then it was an hour before going home, and my screwed up thinking told me to just skip it so I wouldn't be "full" when I got on the treadmill at home. When I did get home, I was so tired and dehydrated from not drinking my Water that I could barely motivate myself to get on the treadmill. For the first time since surgery, I cut my exercise time in half. I walked one mile instead of two and felt like a failure, which is ridiculous. Then I got on the scale to see the day's progress and didn't even enjoy seeing the number go down half a pound. Ate my Soup (too quickly since I was starving), followed by a glass of milk, and then just got totally bummed out.

food, food, food. How am I going to handle food when I finally get to eat again this Thursday? I thought nothing could be better than going back on solid foods, and now I'm truly afraid that Thursday could be my bounce day. You know, lose weight like a champ, and then the first time you have something you like (like solid food in this case), send it all to hell by bouncing back up the scale? I always tell people who see my wedding photos for the first time, yeah, that's me. I was thin once. For twenty minutes. It's not far from the truth. I'm getting scared. I'm tired of this post-op liquid phase, but now I'm scared of moving forward. I don't think I can trust myself with real food. All the crazy thoughts going through my head the last few days, like how am I going to stay motivated to exercise, and how am I going to behave myself on vacation next month? How am I going to live a happy life without binge eating? Where am I going to find joy?

I feel like this post-op period was so hard, but in a way, easy, because the rules and the goal were so clear. I'm afraid of eating enjoyable food again and gaining back what I lost.

I know my head is messed up today, and there sure are physical and emotional contributing factors. I didn't drink any Water today, just my morning Protein Shake and one cup of water at 4pm. I missed lunch and then intentionally skipped it once I could have it. I got on the treadmill dehydrated and undernourished, and couldn't even keep the pace I've been easily doing all week.

Add to that a spat of sorts with my older daughter whom I haven't seen since January because she's abroad at college and it's just about killing me. And my younger daughter who returned to college today, flying back to school, of course not returning texts for hours.

I was so out of sorts after my crappy liquid dinner that I just decided the safest place to be was bed. At 7:30pm. So here I am.

[Christy929 18]

I go back to solids this week also & have the same fears you do. I so desperately wish I had fluids in my band & that the restrictions were there so I can't fail. Keep pushing forward. Tomorrow when you're back on your normal routine you'll feel better. We all have those down days & the way to look at it~ at least you worked out! Even if it wasn't your usual routine you attempted it. Kudos & keep pushing forward

[gowalking 10,790]

When you go back on food, try weighing it out using a food scale or measuring cups. That might give you the tool you need to make sure you are not overeating. I started to do that from almost the first time I was on solids. I find that even if I'm feeling hungrier than I should, measuring my food keeps me from eating too much. Also...stay away from the scale for a while. Stop focusing on the number and focus on other things like how your clothes fit.

[chasingadream 1,311]

Hang in there! There will be good days and not so good days…and thats okay. Everyone is human and in my opinion, there is NO perfect!

One day is not what the future will hold. In fact, it was a great learning lesson of what to do next time your schedule gets thrown off….make sure you find time to eat/drink a shake regardless of the time of day.

As for beginning solids, I was there and understand the fear. Stay within the guidelines of what your doc/nutritionist has given you and listen to your band. I know, for me, after being on 2 weeks of liquids before and after surgery and then 2 weeks of mushies and finally onto solids, I thought all hell would break loose too with that first bite and it didn't.

In fact, being off of all the crap food I was so used to eating for so long, changed my palate a bit and my desire for all that stuff. Your band will also tell you when it may be too much. That is a big learning curve…I am 7 months out and STILL learning that one! I know I need to stop eating when I am SATISFIED and NOT full…but when you've spent your entire life overeating that switch just doesn't turn off. But it can be done and like I said before there is a learning curve. I find myself weighing and portioning my meals…not to the point of craziness though…i don't want diet mentality….but i need to constantly remind myself what a REAL portion size looks like!

Hang in there and let today go…it is already in the past!!!! Tomorrow will be a better day!

Get ready for those solids and enjoy them….dont fear food….we need it to survive…and that is ALL we need it for!

Edited April 22, 2014 by chasingadream

[2muchfun 8,928]

I don't mean to be the grim reaper here but I've seen other long(not as long as yours) post op liquid diets end with a fill and 2-4 more days of liquids? Doc say anything about this?

tmf

[pink dahlia 2,513]

Honey, you need to give yourself a hug and a pat on the back, in that order ! The hug because you've had a long , difficult emotional day, and a pat on the back from learning from your mistake of not eating/drinking when you should have. We ALL make mistakes, and you'll make alot more, the point is you learned what NOT to do. Good for you, you'll do better tommorrow ! Also, you'll learn what a portion is, and what type of exercise you enjoy, and to stop using the scale as your only means of success. Tommorow will be better !!!! Good luck !

[LeeB1946 261]

Hang in there kid! There will be days that just suck! Did you not have bad and good days before surgery? 14 months post op and 90 pounds gone and I get on myself because I have not lost 100. Oh, what the heck is going on in my head? There is no Perfect as someone wrote! Do you have support groups from your surgeon's office? People to call to talk too about this? The end of liquids was worse than the beginning, but keep on truck'n and you too will be trudging the road of happy destiny!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Today is better. Thanks everyone. I can't believe I missed the support group meeting last night. While I was in bed feeling sorry for myself I could have been there instead. For some reason I keep getting that date wrong. Better plug those into my computer. TMF, I'm probably going to be on a day or two of liquids after my fill, but they know I'm going on food first. So 4 days of food then a fill, then probably liquids for a day or two. I'm okay with that. My nurse practitioner who does the fills actually was leaving it up to me whether to fill or not before my trip, so I still have to let her know my decision.

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

Today was an "off" day for me. It started okay, but I used my very late lunch break to run an errand and not eat. I could have had my Protein Shake back at my desk, but by then it was an hour before going home, and my screwed up thinking told me to just skip it so I wouldn't be "full" when I got on the treadmill at home. When I did get home, I was so tired and dehydrated from not drinking my Water that I could barely motivate myself to get on the treadmill. For the first time since surgery, I cut my exercise time in half. I walked one mile instead of two and felt like a failure, which is ridiculous. Then I got on the scale to see the day's progress and didn't even enjoy seeing the number go down half a pound. Ate my Soup (too quickly since I was starving), followed by a glass of milk, and then just got totally bummed out. food, food, food. How am I going to handle food when I finally get to eat again this Thursday? I thought nothing could be better than going back on solid foods, and now I'm truly afraid that Thursday could be my bounce day. You know, lose weight like a champ, and then the first time you have something you like (like solid food in this case), send it all to hell by bouncing back up the scale? I always tell people who see my wedding photos for the first time, yeah, that's me. I was thin once. For twenty minutes. It's not far from the truth. I'm getting scared. I'm tired of this post-op liquid phase, but now I'm scared of moving forward. I don't think I can trust myself with real food. All the crazy thoughts going through my head the last few days, like how am I going to stay motivated to exercise, and how am I going to behave myself on vacation next month? How am I going to live a happy life without binge eating? Where am I going to find joy? I feel like this post-op period was so hard, but in a way, easy, because the rules and the goal were so clear. I'm afraid of eating enjoyable food again and gaining back what I lost. I know my head is messed up today, and there sure are physical and emotional contributing factors. I didn't drink any water today, just my morning Protein shake and one cup of water at 4pm. I missed lunch and then intentionally skipped it once I could have it. I got on the treadmill dehydrated and undernourished, and couldn't even keep the pace I've been easily doing all week. Add to that a spat of sorts with my older daughter whom I haven't seen since January because she's abroad at college and it's just about killing me. And my younger daughter who returned to college today, flying back to school, of course not returning texts for hours. I was so out of sorts after my crappy liquid dinner that I just decided the safest place to be was bed. At 7:30pm. So here I am.

I remember my first real food. I was at a restaurant and ordered meatballs. I took a long time to eat and enjoy them. They were great. I couldn't even finish 2 if them. That was 1 1/2 years ago. Enjoy every bite, slowly and chew chew chew. Remember those 3 words for every bite you take. Good luck. Remember it's a new journey and WLS is a tool not a cure all over night.