Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I feel like a failure...



Recommended Posts

I got my band back on June 21st last year and since then I've barely made any progress, I think I lost about 20lbs in the beginning and then gained some back. Then recently I needed to remove my fill because I got blocked up, and between the time it was removed and my dr refilled with 5cc I gained 14lbs. Since the fill I lost 5 but I'm sitting here thinking about how I've has the band for almost a year and have NOTHING to show for it.

I feel like it's mostly my fault because I lost track of the way I'm supposed to do things. I don't know, has anyone overcome anything like this?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel exactly the same way . Thought by now I'd be almost to goal and have only lost 40 pounds. I'm trying to go back to basics and follow rules . We can do this and you are not alone .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi gals. As hard as it is, you must follow the rules in order to be successful. There are a million ways to cheat the band and unfortunately when you do, you only cheat yourself. Go back to your surgeon or nutritionist and explain your difficulties. They should be able to give you the tools you need to follow the weight loss protocol.

I know it sounds simple but I also know it's not if you are by nature a rule breaker. There are lots of folks like that and they are often not able to find the success they so badly want. For me, I follow a weight watchers type of program. I don't do points or any of that other nonsense. I eat 3 oz. Protein, 1/2 cup veggies, 1/4 cup carbs. I track all my food on myfitnesspal and try to stay under 1,100 calories. I do some exercise, but I'm certainly no gym rat. In a nutshell, I haven't done anything magical. I just eat alot less, I eat mostly chicken and fish. I hardly ever eat fast food and I stay away from crappy food as much as possible.

Good luck, please let us know how you are doing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi there, don't despair but seize this day! We all have our ups and downs and there may be more progress than you think. The surgery is done and the band is placed so that's a big hurdle. You have a doctor to work with to get on track. And think how much heavier you might be now if you hadn't done something. I wonder about that sometimes, especially as this was such a tough winter. Without my band I surely would have slapped on another ten or fifteen.

Sometimes I look back over goals I wrote up at the beginning of my process to remind myself what I want to achieve. Maybe crafting a list like this would help? Also I try to note the time when I'm having something to eat and I count off on my fingers one, two, three, four hours and plug that time into my head -- i.e. I'm having this yogurt and almonds now and it's 11 so I shouldn't be hungry again until 3. This helps me train myself to not be such a grazer.

Just know you are showing up for yourself. You've made this big decision and you want a healthy happy future. We can do this thing!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gowalking your advice is very sound thank you...Atlasmaia and hopefilinNY...I am not really out that far since my surgery but got to see the nutritionist. maybe you do need to go back to basics. although I have lost weight since surgery...I have had bad habits when it comes to eating already!!! so I am back on the road to weight lose with my band!!! Hang in there ladies you are going to do just fine...lets all get back on the wagon today!!! :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I too would advise, set small goals. A lot of folks set out with the end goal in their heads and get overwhelmed and discouraged. If you set small goals the big ones will take care of themselves

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks . You are all right.i just got got all my info and I'm going to re read all my rules . Even though I know what I should be doing . I'm tracking on fitness pal too .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Many here are correct. They are the wise ones. The band is a tool. It's not easy. Everyone has there ups and downs, and nobody is perfect. But try to hold your head high, and move forward.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hang in there. Definitely work on getting back on track, but you can do it. I'm getting back on track now. Just had my last feel a little over a week ago and it's working again. I've had fills, but have not been able to get past my plateau, that has gone on for three years now. I've just been up and down the same 5lbs for three years. I'd change up exercise, diet and fills, but still stuck. Anyhow, I did really good at first right at 60lbs, but I'm still at that now. I just told myself that I got the band for a reason and it might not be real comfortable/fun right now, but it will be worth it, when the weight comes off. Most everyone will tell you we're all different, so just do your best on diet and exercise. Hang in there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Atlasmaia and hopefilinNY was wondering how things are going for you? Any new news on making changes for the good? hope to hear from you soon!!! :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Whenever I read posts like this, where people beat themselves up for being a failure, I have to ask myself "What about the Band" Is it working or is not doing what it should...and then I ask myself, why not?

If I buy a car to get to work, to pay the bills,....and then the car will not start in the mornings, and I'm constantly late for work and loose my job, ....am I a failure?

Only if I don't get the car fixed and tuned properly and get back to work.....

I know a lot of people here have a lot of different approaches to Lap band surgery, but my feeling is/was, this is surgery...I have certain expectations and expect certain results....things I could not do myself prior to surgery....and if it did not perform, I asked my Dr, why....and there was always a good reason and solution.....

Edited by B-52

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think over time, we get complacent. I have found myself falling back into bad habits. We become less vigilent about what and how much we are eating. I have lost enough weight to feel good and I think sometimes we get comfortable with that. I want to get to my goal this year for sure so I can start maintaining but I have to get back to the reality that I have a band for a reason and stop fooling myself into thinking I can eat badly and still lose weight. I try to come on here and read some post especially the success stories to get myself motivated and I have promised myself that I would get back to my support group meetings. Getting back on track is difficult but having surgery and doing all of the liquids, etc. was not easy either. Hang in there and keep talking to yourself about why you had your surgery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think over time, we get complacent. I have found myself falling back into bad habits. We become less vigilent about what and how much we are eating. I have lost enough weight to feel good and I think sometimes we get comfortable with that. I want to get to my goal this year for sure so I can start maintaining but I have to get back to the reality that I have a band for a reason and stop fooling myself into thinking I can eat badly and still lose weight. I try to come on here and read some post especially the success stories to get myself motivated and I have promised myself that I would get back to my support group meetings. Getting back on track is difficult but having surgery and doing all of the liquids, etc. was not easy either. Hang in there and keep talking to yourself about why you had your surgery.

This is so true. Currently, I've been struggling. Old habits are creeping up. Along with missing some foods. I too, want to reach my goal. I'm going to shake it off, stand up, and get back on track. Thanks!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think over time, we get complacent. I have found myself falling back into bad habits. We become less vigilent about what and how much we are eating. I have lost enough weight to feel good and I think sometimes we get comfortable with that. I want to get to my goal this year for sure so I can start maintaining but I have to get back to the reality that I have a band for a reason and stop fooling myself into thinking I can eat badly and still lose weight. I try to come on here and read some post especially the success stories to get myself motivated and I have promised myself that I would get back to my support group meetings. Getting back on track is difficult but having surgery and doing all of the liquids, etc. was not easy either. Hang in there and keep talking to yourself about why you had your surgery.

This is so true. Currently, I've been struggling. Old habits are creeping up. Along with missing some foods. I too, want to reach my goal. I'm going to shake it off, stand up, and get back on track. Thanks!!

that is right.....do better today.....all we can do...

whats done is done......you got this

you know what to do and how

so lets do it

hang in there OK

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think over time, we get complacent. I have found myself falling back into bad habits. We become less vigilent about what and how much we are eating. I have lost enough weight to feel good and I think sometimes we get comfortable with that. I want to get to my goal this year for sure so I can start maintaining but I have to get back to the reality that I have a band for a reason and stop fooling myself into thinking I can eat badly and still lose weight. I try to come on here and read some post especially the success stories to get myself motivated and I have promised myself that I would get back to my support group meetings. Getting back on track is difficult but having surgery and doing all of the liquids, etc. was not easy either. Hang in there and keep talking to yourself about why you had your surgery.

I agree with you completely! I have definitely become too comfortable with my band. And now that I've recently had a partial unfill, I now realize how much I took my band for granted in preventing me from overeating and keeping me in check with certain foods. Now that I have way less restriction, I've quickly lapsed back into my old habits of overeating and making poor food choices. Four weeks of this has shamefully and regretfully resulted in me gaining 8 lbs! Now I have to work that much harder reach my goal, but I'm determined to do it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×