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I have this husband see.... and he is increasingly insecure that I will leave him if I have the sleeve surgery. I read the statistics and I see that the divorce rate is high for couples after bariatric surgery. We have been going to marriage counseling as an effort to ease his insecurities, but I really am not concerned that I will decide to up and leave my husband. I tell him as long as he is as supportive as he can be and we keep communication open we should be fine. Have any of you experienced marital issues pre/post op?

Also, on a much shallower note.....my main concern is whether or not I will lose my hair.

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statistic that divorce rate is high for couples after bariatric surgery. main concern is whether or not I will lose my hair.

@@Derouin4

i think many people start to enjoy the independence/self-confidence et al - that they might/probably never experienced before

this "new person" might startle/scare some

love your DH like you do, and hopefully things will be fine

i have read from others that their relationships have changed between S.O. - spouse, and friends and relatives too

don't know a "%" of people this happens to

good for you going to counseling as your journey is starting

sounds like you two are going the right way

talking about your future weight loss

possible/probable changes you will be going through

sounds like you have a handle on this - and hopefully all will work out positively :)

continue to reassure DH that you love him :)

as with every thing else

the one thing we all have in common is that we're all different :o

this is true for Hair loss also

i think many/most people lose their hair/thins out

i was one of the lucky ones that only lost their head :onot my hair :lol:

if the worse thing that happens throughout your journey is hair loss.......

thats not too bad, considering what you gaining

or should i say losing :lol:

scarves, wigs - or going all natural - all interesting ways to deal with the situation

hair today, gone tomorrow :lol:

sorry, i accidentally took an extra silly pill this morning :D

good luck :)

best wishes toward pending surgery

speedy recovery :)

kathy

Edited by proudgrammy

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Hi. In this four year journey that has finally lead me to scheduling surgery I have been in two major relationships. Both men were not really on the train with me which didn't help me at all and I think actually helped me drop out of my program towards surgery twice. I am now single and doing this for me because it's what I want. I want to be a healthier happier me. I'm tired of aches and pains due to being over weight. I don't want my weight to hold me back any further and maybe regret it later and doing the what if game. What if I would have done surgery what if my life could have been so much fuller.

Love is meant to endure. The only way a relationship wouldn't work is because it wasn't meant to. If your given what you need in a relationship then surgery won't change that. ;)

I myself am vain about my hair too and I'm almost positive that I will lose it. I have lost hair in the past with rapid weightloss but hey hair grows back and we shall gain so much for the price of a little bit of short term hairloss. I for one am ready!

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Thanks ladies!

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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