I am so undecided. I have to face that fact that I have a weight problem. Not just a weight problem but probably an eating disorder. My weight has gone up and down for years but I am 5'6 and 230 right now. I have hypothyroidism, PCOS, I'm tired all the time, I'm depressed most of the time, I never leave the house except for work or stuff with the kids.

So without giving the boring rundown of my life, I got divorced a few years ago and my weight balooned. I have tried everything. Now I am looking at lapband and my father and coworkers are not supportive. They tell me to eat less and exercise. My sister tells me to take hoodia. Everyone has a plan for ME.

Any advice???

I feel your pain. I am 5'6'' 240 lbs. I tried unsuccessfully to get approved for this surgery last summery. Because my BMI was not 40 (39), my insurance said no.

Long story, but health issues and hysterectomy made me wait with pursuing, but I am pursuing with a vengeance.

My DH says I need exercise. My mom thinks I don't need the surgery. I know I do. I don't sleep (sleep apnea), I have no energy, I have headaches all of the time, and now my BP is going up as well.

I am trying ONE MORE TIME to get this covered by insurance, but I have already decided it is time to take charge of ME. I am having this surgery whether insurance pays or not. It is time for ME to be healthier, so that is what I am going to do. I will tell very few people, because they will not be supportive, and I do not need that.

Good luck. You will love this board.

I think we all had that kind of people telling that "you should bla bla bla or bla bla bla", but if you really think you need it and that it'll help you whats the point of listening to them?

I tend to believe that if you have only just recently experienced this weight gain, but otherwise have been a normal weight your entire life, then this is probably not the answer for you. I believe the guideline is that you need to have been overweight (obese) for 5 years or more. You may benefit more from seeing a therapist for eating disorders first and see if you make any progress in that area.

Just my opinion.

I feel your pain. I was undecided for awhile. Like you I had to face the fact that I had a weight/eating problem. I also had to face the fact that NOBODY was coming to save me, but me. When I made the decision to go forward with having the band (MAY 2nd YEA), I decided to only tell 2 of my sisters. My DH already knew of course. One of my sisters was very supportive, she had the gastric bypass 3 years ago, so she understood what I was going through. The other, when I told her she said "Laura, have you tried Weight Watchers? Have you tried exercising more?" DUH. Just hang in there. The way I look at it is, this is your life, only you can live it, and GIRL, live it, live it to the fullest, live it with passion. Remember this is not a dress rehearsal. So, do lots of research, read this forum, pray and take care of yourself. I had someone tell me once how to make a difficult decision; What you do is is imagine yourself when you are 80 years old. See her in your mind, picture her how you want her to look, feel, how healthy she is, how happy she is, etc. Now ask her how she got there. What did she do to make her life happen. You know how you alway say if you could go back and talk to yourself you would tell yourself not to do this, or to do that. This is just that in reverse. Sounds crazy, but it helps me. When Ms. Laura is 80, she is a healthy, happy, spry, vibrant lady. And I am going to make her happen! Sorry to go on and on...Good luck.

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............ are you ME??? LOL

Diagnosed with the thyroid of an 80 year old man AND PCOS (which caused infertility) at the tender age of 22......... I FEEL FOR YOU.

Get a grip now, before you continue to balloon up......... Most PCOS websites will direct you to a lower carb higher Protein way of eating, and maybe this might be the trick for you... Surgery is such a personal choice... one that took me a LONNNNNNNNNNG time to make. My other fav board is one called low carb friends dot com... it is very supportive much like LBT. Their is even a PCOS thread. Check it out as well as all of your options.

Getting banded is a personal decision. Do not let your family or friends take away your dream. I love being banded and I wouldn't want it any other way. Julie

Having surgery is a pretty drastic step. Even Banding - which is the safest - is still surgery and it still has risks.

I chose this because I have been overweight forever, and felt like an old, old woman at 40.

I hesitate to advise surgery until you know whether or not you have an eating disorder. There is a real difference between having an appetite out of control and having a disorder.

If you have an eating DISORDER you need to get a handle on that BEFORE you get surgery. Most disorders cannot be fixed by surgery. Only head-work will do it.

My advice in the immediate sense is to contact a counsellor or psychologist to have a couple of sessions. That would be a good first step.

I am not saying surgery couldn't help you, but until you know what is going on in your head, then you probably should wait for a bit.

Hugs!

Hi everyone,

I too have been watching the board for sometime. I am scheduled to be banded in July and I am terrified of failure. I did research on my options for a year and decided on the band. Any suggestions on getting over this fear. I am self pay and don't want to waste money.

Ray, just follow the bandsters diet to the tee and you will be fine. It will be really important for you to get optimal fill level as soon as you can. That will help you with the weight loss. Julie

I know how you feel, too. I have been overweight or obese since I was five. I have lost as much as 80 pounds and then gained it all back plus some. It is funny how people tell you not to have the surgery. Almost everyone I tell just looks at me like I'm crazy. One very skinny person I work with said, well just quit eating. Have you tried working out or eating only salads? They just don't get it! I have decided to get surgery. I am the approval phase now. There is just something inside of you that tells you it's time. Life is too short to stay unhappy!

Thanks everyone for your responses!!

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............ are you ME??? LOL

Diagnosed with the thyroid of an 80 year old man AND PCOS (which caused infertility) at the tender age of 22......... I FEEL FOR YOU.

Get a grip now, before you continue to balloon up......... Most PCOS websites will direct you to a lower carb higher Protein way of eating, and maybe this might be the trick for you... Surgery is such a personal choice... one that took me a LONNNNNNNNNNG time to make. My other fav board is one called low carb friends dot com... it is very supportive much like LBT. Their is even a PCOS thread. Check it out as well as all of your options.

I got pregnant at 17...my first year at college. Back then, they knew less about PCOS and diagnosed me with endometriosis before I had ever had sex. I was told I'd never conceive so I never used birth control. I got pregnant FAST. After that, I had no fertility issues and the PCOS didn't rear its head in force until I got the depoprovera shot. Now my body doesn't want to lose.

So can someone explain why an eating disorder won't be fixed with the banding? What IS the banding's purpose? I'm not being facetious....I've been reading and it seems it's for people who have tried all else and can't lose. Wouldn't all obese people arguably have an eating disorder in order to BE obese? Again, I'm not being facetious...I'm trying to sort my way through the realization and some understanding of how I got here.

I think everyone's story is different but here's mine. I'm obese because I suffer with the disease of obesity. It's hereditary and is a malfunction of some sort in my body. I do not overeat in normal terms. I generally eat between 1600-1800 calories/day. I eat healthy foods and I do not binge on anything. Generally, I don't eat sugar, bread, rice, potatoes or Pasta. My only weakness is chocolate, and I might have a handful of peanut M&M's once a day or a SF chocolate ice cream bar at night. So I don't consider myself to be obese because I have an eating disorder. I consider my eating to be quite healthy. But nevertheless I have gained weight and I can't seem to lose it anymore.

There are others, however, that eat for emotional reasons on top of having the disease of obesity. For them it is quite necessary to address their emotional issues with therapy, etc. along with the band. So, what I was saying to you is that if you haven't been overweight all your life, or for at least several years, you probably don't have the "disease" of obesity, but instead have only the emotional issues to deal with. Banding is a life-long decision and people with eating/emotional disorders WILL find a way to eat around the band and not lose weight....so their money goes down the toilet. Make sense? I was just reading a post yesterday by someone who wanted to have her band removed simply because she misses food. She knows she relied on it for comfort and now that comfort is gone she feels that she is having a mental breakdown of sorts. That is so not me. I really don't think I'll be missing food that much...I'll still eat the way I've always eaten, just less of it.

You see the difference?

It occurred to me that you might get some useful insight by reading this thread Why Are You Fat?

I think everyone's story is different but here's mine. I'm obese because I suffer with the disease of obesity. It's hereditary and is a malfunction of some sort in my body. I do not overeat in normal terms. I generally eat between 1600-1800 calories/day. I eat healthy foods and I do not binge on anything. Generally, I don't eat sugar, bread, rice, potatoes or Pasta. My only weakness is chocolate, and I might have a handful of peanut M&M's once a day or a SF chocolate ice cream bar at night. So I don't consider myself to be obese because I have an eating disorder. I consider my eating to be quite healthy. But nevertheless I have gained weight and I can't seem to lose it anymore.

There are others, however, that eat for emotional reasons on top of having the disease of obesity. For them it is quite necessary to address their emotional issues with therapy, etc. along with the band. So, what I was saying to you is that if you haven't been overweight all your life, or for at least several years, you probably don't have the "disease" of obesity, but instead have only the emotional issues to deal with. Banding is a life-long decision and people with eating/emotional disorders WILL find a way to eat around the band and not lose weight....so their money goes down the toilet. Make sense? I was just reading a post yesterday by someone who wanted to have her band removed simply because she misses food. She knows she relied on it for comfort and now that comfort is gone she feels that she is having a mental breakdown of sorts. That is so not me. I really don't think I'll be missing food that much...I'll still eat the way I've always eaten, just less of it.

You see the difference?

yes! Thank you so much! That makes sense.

My dr. is Spivak, as well! i just noticed that in your sig.

Wow! That's cool!! At least you KNOW you're in the best hands possible in that regard. For me that was a huge, huge factor. Please feel free to PM me if I can help you in any way.