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I have picked a date and I'm super nervous



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So, after four months of testing and otherwise, I have a date for the end of March. i'm nervous for many reasons. One is that I don't find out till about a week before surgery if my insurance has approved me so it may all fall to pieces. I'm nervous about the slight chance of complications, as one poster has told the sad story of her sister who died from complications. I have a young son and this story just kills me.

I'm also nervous about taking too big a bite, drinking too fast, missing having a beer on the weekend, etc. I still haven't told my dad. He is anorexic technically and barely eats a thing so I'm nervous about his reaction since he's able to "starve" and control himself and deal with the pain and hunger. I'm almost 43 and shouldn't feel this way but I do. I'm also nervous about peoples reactions. It's easier for someone to figure when a person is over 300 pounds why they get bariatric surgery, but i'm tipping the scales at almost 220 and people think I'm ridiculous. I see the pattern and I'm want to do something about it before i'm 300 which is the route I'm going.

Any advice? Thanks.

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I'm in the same boat with not wanting to tell my dad, and with not being what people would look at as morbidly obese, although I did hit the 40 BMI at my first appt. with my surgeon. But I look at pictures of myself 10 years ago, and I've gained 50 pounds in those 10 years... so why wait another 10 years, until I really am pushing 300 pounds to have the surgery??

I've only told a select few people, that's how I'm dealing with it. If anyone asks me after surgery how I'm losing weight, I will tell the partial truth, that I have finally perfected portion control! If it's someone who I know has struggled similarly with their weight, I may tell them the whole truth, but it will be on a "need to know" basis.

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While the complication stories are scary, they are rare and the risks of not confronting the obesity problem are just as real and far more likely to occur. I can be hard to tell people what you are doing, but remember that you are doing this for your own health and are making a great decision for yourself. At your weight, if you don't want to tell people you had WLS, you can probably just tell people you are dieting and exercising and it won't seem odd. I started off at 383 pounds and four months in have lost 80 pounds, so it's pretty apparent to everyone and not easily brushed under the rug. The surprise for me has been that people have been really supportive and I was surprised how many friends and colleagues I have who have had a friend or family member who has had WLS.

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Thanks!

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I can relate. I just got my date yesterday and it is March 10th. I thought it would be late April or early May, so I wasn't exactly prepared. I can also relate to being nervous about telling people. I just talked to my boss today about getting time off for surgery and he asked if it was for my knee or something. I told him is was an intestinal surgery. I am 265 and 5'11" so I am big but the few people I have told think I am not big enough for the surgery. All I can say is it seems like the right choice for me. I think there is a perception that bariatric surgery is the easy way out. I really could care less what others think they aren't walking around in my body.

I am sure there are some complications in a select few, but how many lives are shortened or ended by the effects of obesity? I think dealing with your weight while you can is responsible and I wish you luck.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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