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To tell or not to tell...



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Had the exact same idea as far as calling it abdominal surgery and no one else's concern - but turns out people tend to pry and you are pretty much left with the choice to either spin a web of bs or just fess up.

I chose the later route as it was just way too much trouble to worry about keeping the lies straight (you have a bunch of stuff to pay attention to post op, so why add to the mix). Since then haven't particularly felt judged. Afterall, most of us are going through WLS not only to lose weight, but to alleviate a number of existing or potential health issues that are weight related. Explaining WLS to most people that way seems to be pretty easy for them to understand.

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i told my immediate family, close friends and the people at my job. i work in a small office and i am related to the office manager so it was bound to be known anyway. i felt like the more people i told i was lifting a weight off my shoulder.

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Initially (prioir to the surgery) I told only my boss and the few people I knew that had Biatric surgery. I am three months post op and I still only tell people I am comfortable with. I am pretty private about everything so this normal for me. I'd say do what is comfortable for you, you don't have to say s*%t if you don't want to.

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Once my surgery was scheduled, I kept it to immediate family, close friends, and those at work who needed to know. Your surgery is your decision, just like its your decision on who to tell and who "thinks" they need to know. Like others have said, I kept mine on the down low until after I was recovered and healthy. There are ways to sneak around the response of "i had WLS"...but at a certain point I felt it was too much work. I wasn't ashamed of having surgery. I look at it in a positive manner. It is a life long tool for me to use to stay healthy. Plus, people will speculate anyway if you tell them you've lost 70lbs in 10 weeks like I have lol.

So in short, it's your choice. Just like any other surgery, illness, etc. Don't feel obligated to tell anyone that you don't want to.

Good luck with your surgery and I wish you the best of health and recovery!

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Once I got the approval. ... Everyone knew!!

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.

Edited by Krewtons

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Really? Cancer? What a dou**che. Have you ever known or seen someone die from stomach cancer? So you'll commit to some bulls&@t lie and even covet people's sympathy because you want to avoid explaining yourself? what a tool! You'd rather get pity than scorn? a***hole!!

I chose not to tell anyone and just say "diet and excercise" and if it ever really got pushed to someone prodding for answers, I'd tell them to mind their own business. But you are a scum**ag to even think to use something as horrible as cancer as a " little white lie" to explain away WLS.

Seriously douchey!!!!

Edited by inittothinit

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.

Edited by Krewtons

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I dont hide it from anyone. If the subject of my dramatic weight loss comes up I spill the Beans and educate anyone that will listen. So many people come to the conclusion that it cannot be safe, healthy, good for you to have this kind of surgery and I fill them in on the pros and cons. Luckily with me its all pros as I have not had any negative experiences.

Its really hard to talk smack about it when you have the facts.

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I understand the need to be private and I am usually a private person. With this decision at first I kept it quiet until the ball was firmly rolling. Now I tell everyone. I tell them why I'm doing it. They usually come back with what I won't be able to eat and my common response is "where has that gotten me? Here." Yes I'll be able to eat again. They're going to notice. Why lie to them and yourself? Just my .02.

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Initially I told my boss and a couple of close work friends that I was having weight loss surgery, but nothing more specific. I found that her secretary has a big, big mouth so in order to rein in the rumor train. Since then I have found it easy to discuss with people and actually have had 5-6 ask for my doctor's name so they can make appointments.

I've found that being open and honest with those around me, or those that ask, is easier than trying to play it off with "oh, I started watching what I eat" or "I'm working out more". I look at it as there are lots of folks in the same boat as me and if my honesty gives one of them the confidence to make a life altering decision then God is using me in the right way and I'm happy to oblige.

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I am having surgery on sept 16. My wife will sleeve later this year, so obviously she knows. Just told my oldest daughter today. Definitely NOT telling youngest two kids.

I have told two good buddies that are like my brothers, and both were very supportive. They are with me too much, so they would have figured it out anyway. I plan to tell both sets of Parents at Labor Day..and won't be talking to anyone else until after surgery. I prefer to keep it low key mainly so that I myself can wrap my head around everything that's about to happen without hearing a wide array of judgements and opinions. My decision. My life. And this is one decision I am confident in!

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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