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How did you handle telling everyone about your surgery



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You nailed it with this post Tiny! Best luck and keep on losing!

Thanks Linda. I met my goal in Nov and have been working to maintain it at this point. It's been a fun challenge over the past 3 months. If I don't lose another pound, I'd be okay.

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You nailed it with this post Tiny! Best luck and keep on losing!

Thanks Linda. I met my goal in Nov and have been working to maintain it at this point. It's been a fun challenge over the past 3 months. If I don't lose another pound, I'd be okay.
I see that now. Well, just keep on inspiring us. Very proud for you. I cannot wait for the summer months to come, and this year I won't be sitting indoors being depressed. I want to be where you are!

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I only selected a few that I wanted to know. Then from there word just got around. I really don't care who knows. I just want support not to be put down because Of my decision. It's bad enough I have to go through this just to lose weight. I have made many attempts over the years and nothing really worked or I would lose the weight just to gain it back.

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Thanks everyone for supporting this topic, I've been silently reading and soaking in your great solutions. I really like going with just letting it take it's course, don't ask, don't tell, if asked, hope people respect your answer. Some will know the details, others will not.

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I've told no one... The only person that knows is my finance..

No ones business but my own :)

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So I was going to be very discreet about my surgery and only told 4 people.... my business partner (to explain the time off), a friend here in Idaho who had gastric bypass years ago (for some insight and support), my sister in Wisconsin (she accompanied me to TJ for surgery), and my parents in Arizona(because my sister convinced me how pissed they'd be if they found out afterwards).

In the course of 3 weeks, my partner told her whole family and any friends that asked why I wasn't around at Christmas time. My friend told a number of mutual friends because "it's no big deal and they will all see you losing weight anyways", my sister told most of the rest of my family, including brother, nieces and nephews, and my mom told any family members that my sister missed -aunts and uncles, and everybody she talks to in her retirement park down in Arizona.

Today I walked into my beauty salon and my nail tech insisted on knowing how I lost so much weight. I'm a terrible lier so ended up telling her about the surgery and kept the entire salon of patrons entertained with my tale of bariatric surgery in Tijuana. One of them ended up getting the name and contact info for my surgeon!

So my original plan to keep this a secret has gone all to ****, but Luckily I have had nothing but supportive feedback. If anyone is saying anything negative, at least they are doing it behind my back

I didn't want to tell anyone either but of course one person told another. I went to Tijuana and I have a lot of people telling me how reckless and stupid I was to do that. I have a friend that tells me home great their boyfriends are because they would spend money at the best places money could buy. Her boyfriend would never let her go to Tijuana let alone have major surgery in a strip mall.

I made a decision for my health and I thought I was pretty brave. I so wish my friends would stop judging me!

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11 1/2 month out. Here is what I did, I called up a few friends and family members before surgery. Like I needed permission to have this surgery.

Some of my friend were unbelievable supportive. My hubby is the absolute best. Hung in tight through it all. I told my mother and just like it happen to someone else my mother told several family members. She was concerned I guess. But some of the people she told I don't even talk to. So i was quite upset about it

To say the least. Anyhow other than close friends and family, I ended up mostly keeping it private and its pretty much that's the way I wanted to deal with it. But I certainly get asked questions evey day at work, after 97 pounds loss. Its been fun with moments difficulty. Especially since ive been a slow looser. Lol. I wouldnt change it. Because it's been a fun ride.

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I didn't tell hardly anyone prior to my surgery. As the days got closer, I found the whole process to make me want to keep things incredibly private. Post surgery, different story! I will tell anyone who asks what the heck I have done. It was the best decision I ever made for my health. Diabetes - Gone. Severe knee pain - greatly reduced; sleep apnea and a CPAP Machine - don't need it!

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I didn't tell hardly anyone prior to my surgery. As the days got closer, I found the whole process to make me want to keep things incredibly private. Post surgery, different story! I will tell anyone who asks what the heck I have done. It was the best decision I ever made for my health. Diabetes - Gone. Severe knee pain - greatly reduced; sleep apnea and a CPAP Machine - don't need it!

Right now I really need it, but I can't wait to toss that damn CPAP machine!

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I'm a week away from surgery and when I finally decided to go for it I told my husband who says he loves me "just the way I am". I'm not doing this for looks, I'm doing this for my health. I've mentioned it to my parents who seem unphased by my decision. A few coworkers know because of having to prepare for the time off. And I've told my two best friends; funny, my overweight friend was negative about it; my skinny friend is ready to take me shopping and to the beach and not have me hiding under a towel!!!

But honestly my struggle has been with the lack of support. I'm a people person and need to bounce ideas, concerns off someone; for this decision I haven't found anyone. Reading on this forum has given me the ability to keep on my journey and know that although I'm nervous this is the best decision for ME.

Thank you for sharing your stories.

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I have told no one of my surgery. Not even my husband. Everyone thinks I am having surgery because of ulcers. I have no idea what I'm going to do when my husband come to the hospital. I don't know if the doctor is going to tell him. I hope not. I hope my husband doesn't start asking questions. Do I feel bad..... Yes, of course. I'm doing this for me. I didn't want negative feedback on my decision. I didn't want opinions, questions, or concerns. I know my family will support me but they talk to much. My mom has always told me the best person to tell you secret to is yourself. So that is what I did.... Kept it to myself. Now, the ulcer wasn't a complete lie because while on this gastric sleeve journey I found out that I had ulcers but they healed with medication and diet. Don't get me wrong I feel guilty........ BUT; I have worked so hard for my family and friends. Put so much before myself and woke up one day realizing I didn't know who "I was" anymore. I was 5'4 200 lbs with bad knees and back. I spent 10 years in the military proudly before getting medically discharged. I was so consumed in my family and everyday life that I couldn't tell you what made me happy anymore. I had faked my smile for so long I couldn't even tell you what was real and what smile was fake. So I needed to do things for me. Mentally..... Spiritually ....... And physically! That is what I have done. For 3 years I have slowly got back to me and I am happy. So I made this choice for me and me alone. This was my gift to myself. Yes it was selfish not telling my husband and family and I maybe wrong, but I am proud of myself and I love me!!! My husband loves me and my family. Right now I am going through my pre op liquid diet my surgery is 1 March 2014. And nobody knows that I'm having gastric sleeve surgery but me.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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