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Advice on finding online support groups....



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I have looked for several support groups in my area and there are none. Anyone know of any good online groups? I find that I am becoming very frustrated. I have been stalled for almost three weeks now. I just overcame some serious bathroom issues which may help, but it did not help like I thought it would. I am going back to Protein Drinks and one meal to try to jump start a new loss so that may help. Everyone says they can tell I am losing, but as most of you know, I sure can't. Just hitting the winter doldrums I suppose....

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Well, IMO, you have found a pretty good one right here at BariatricPal. This is the place I have used for almost 3 years for advice and support. Your profile says you went to Dr Cernero and I see he is in Sherman, TX, which appears to be a relatively small town of about 40,000 people. I'm guessing you are not going to have an established WLS support group there. Here in Portland, OR, a metropolis over 2 million people, we have only two groups that I have been able to find and they only meet once a month. Not nearly the kind of support I need. But if you really want something local, perhaps this is something you can start up yourself. Talk to Dr Sherman's staff about contacting other WLS patients to start up a group. I think you may find quite a few of them are in the same boat as you. You can probably use a meeting room at the hospital for no charge. You can make it happen and help support other WLS folks in your community. That alone can help you in ways you cannot imagine.

I would also suggest this forum, though, as there is a membership numbering in the thousands who have experience in just about every facet of the WLS journey. Read the different forums, use the search functionality and as you have done here, post questions. Find out what other people are doing for support. I know there are groups over on Facebook as well as MyFitnessPal. There are also private groups here, too, so check them out as well.

As for your stall, your research here will reveal that what you are experiencing is quite common. My advice for you in this area is to know these stalls will happen. It is a necessary part of the journey as your body begins to change and accommodate the drastic difference in calories it is now taking in versus your pre-op intake. I would also question your definition of a stall. Is a stall defined by not losing weight or losing fat? Are your clothes fitting any looser? How often are you weighing? Are you making yourself crazy by weighing every day and having an unrealistic expectation that the number should be lower EVERY day? It just doesn't work that way, so if that is your expectation, change that now. Expectations are just future resentments, so do yourself a favor and ditch the scale. It measures weight, not fat and I was always looking to lose fat. After reading a post from someone who was upset that, when weighing herself in the afternoon, she had gained 0.3 pounds from that morning. She was going on about how she knew she would fail and was ready to throw the towel in. I knew I had the capacity for that kind of thinking so I resolved to weigh once a month. Doing this, I never saw stalls and was always encouraged.

As you said, everyone else can tell you are losing. I know it is difficult to see it yourself. I don't have any advice on that as self image is something I still struggle with. This is a crazy journey, for sure, and there is no reason to go through it alone.

Good luck and keep learning!

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Thanks for the advice! I hadn't really looked at it in terms of weight vs. fat! When I said stall, I meant that I have not lost in about two and a half weeks. I recently went 15 days without going to the restroom and finally went over the weekend. I hope this ends part of the problem! I see the doc today so I will definately ask him about groups around here!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

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