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Hi all.. I thought I would take a few minutes to write about another "life event" going on that does not directly involve my sleeve. ( Maybe indirectly, in some way or another. ) I have met a new guy. I feel kind of weird and girlish just saying that...LOL I guess I should start at the beginning of sorts...I was married briefly from 1995-1999. In that time we were actually only together less than two years. We were separated a few years before we actually got divorced. So I am kind of like those celebrities with short term marriages. Anyway, prior to being married I never had a big problem having "a boyfriend". I was young, I was still in fairly ok shape and it wasn't hard to get asked out. After marriage it was an entirely different world. I gained a significant amount of weight during the time I was with my ex husband. It was a perfect storm in a way. First, I have PCOS. Until my mid twenties I was not effected by it very much. Then around 25yrs old the symptoms really went gangbusters. Second, I was married. I did let myself go and eat because hey, I already bagged the guy. Who cares now if I eat? Besides, he likes to eat too. And the last thing was depression. My marriage wasn't what I had hoped for, obvious by the short deration. Comfort food helped me cope. Along with these things I had gone from jobs where I was on my feet to a desk job, further compounding the weight issue. So I was thirty, divorced, obese and alone. I tried to meet guys. Ok, after about ten years I tried. For the better part of the next decade I closed myself off. It was easier NOT to date and be hurt. A lot of things happened in my life that I had to deal with and there was just no time to worry about adding a man to the mix. After many years I realized I was lonely. I had friends, sure. But it is not the same at all. So I started trying to put myself out there more. Long story short, didn't work out. Many things happened but none were good. I don't regret too much, it was part of life. ( and I did end up with the most amazing and beautiful daughter from it all) I just never give up. I keep trying. I keep looking.....And now I can report I have some hope. It is too early to say this is "the one". But a few key factors are certainly weighing in his favor. First, he went on a date with me AND my daughter! We had a great time and my girl really likes him. ( another guy I once dated she did not care for and made it known) Second, he likes how I look. He appreciates what I have gone through to get here, is all for supporting me as I continue, and finds me sexy now! And the best thing? He wants a relationship! Not a "hit it and quit it" "NSW FWB" or a booty call. This guy is looking to (one day) settle down and get married again. I don't know him well enough to jump to that conclusion right now, but it is such a relief and nice feeling to know I might actually have a Valentine this year on Valentine's day!!!

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Wow! There really IS hope... !! Thanks for posting!

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Happy for you! You deserve this.

Keep us updated on the Love Connection!

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Congratulations!

I met my husband when I was engaged to a man I ALMOST made the awful mistake of marrying. I finally woke up and smelled the coffee,(more like something finally hit me upside the head with a 2x4), and all the while I had known my current husband. We were friends before we ever became intimate. I have a cousin who had the same thing happen. She was friends with her long time husband before they were married.

That's just my own experience--friends first, then a serious relationship. I've been married for 22 years and even though my husband is 100% disabled vet--I've stuck with him.

Good Luck,

Kathleen

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God Bless! Wishing you the best. :)

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I just recently told a friend that I had feelings for him and things are going very well between us.

Losing weight has sooooo many benefits. I hope things continue to go well for you too!

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Congratulations!

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I really feel like this is the man I've been looking for. I was so afraid to tell him how I felt because we have been good friends. I was really afraid I was going to lose my friend.

I am so glad it turned out he felt the same way. I had no clue all this time.

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Update: He was SOOOOOO not "it". Long story short he is a scammer. Apparently I need to work on me a bit more before I am ready to consider finding a relationship. I still have a "fat brain" and all the insecurities that go with it. This guy managed to figure that out and used it for all it was worth. I will never say never, but for now I am not looking in particular.

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I have found that so many men scam us ladies who may have self esteem issues. Those of us with a heart cannot fathom doing that, but it comes so easily to them.

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You are so correct there are scammers of all contexts of the heart and pocket book.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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