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Anyone else have a 'healthy' husband and started

Wires

By Wires, in The Gals' Room

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Wires    25

Wires
Posted

their WLS track like this....always feeling insecure?



I'm at the start of my WLS road, just getting my initial appts in before the sleeve.



All of our years of being married I've felt insecure but even more so since I've slowly gained weight over time. I basically let my insecurities ruin our time (i.e. I will get so upset that someone he works with is really good looking--skinny etc) and it creates arguments/stress for us.



I hate myself for doing that. I need to get over the fact that he may find other people attractive, he has done nothing to make me feel insecure though, it's definitely coming more from me. I guess this doesn't totally have to do with WLS but of someone who is obese with a healthy & good looking partner.



Anyone else?

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RJ'S/beginning    5,358

RJ'S/beginning
Posted

When I was younger..I felt like that. but as I got older I began to realize that he was still here so he must want to be here. He has been with me through every nightmare and pain and happiness I have felt for 36 years. Actually 38 years.

Then one day I thought if he strays then that will be his choice because I would stay with him if he lost an arm or had a stroke...So it all became his choice and mine to go on...

Then I stopped thinking about it and enjoyed the time we had and have together and decided what I would be able to take and what would cause us to break up....

Then i thought..Well if someone wants him they can have him...And that's where I stand today on the matter!!!!!

Maybe it is because I am 55 and don't take bull anymore....

1sunnuri and ProudGrammy reacted to this

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1sunnuri    77

1sunnuri
Posted

Been there have done all the above. Jealousy is still not beyond me recently had a severe case of it "like the flu" but it only took me a short time to come back to reality. It was a new relationship early in my journey and his job requires him to interact with lots of women. I became jealous. .then I came to my senses and realized that I am a hell of a woman and if I'm not enough for him than its his lose. I also realized I was giving him power over my emotions. I took my power back..lol life is just to damn short to waste time on such an ugly emotion.

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MrsVanderbilt    29

MrsVanderbilt
Posted

My husband goes to the gym religiously 4 days a week. He's done that for over 15 years and has put on about 50 pounds of muscle. He's in great shape. Me on the other hand, I've put on 100 pounds of fat and sometimes it seems weird to be the fat wife of a fit guy. I can't wait to be smaller than him. Or at least his size!

Kate2014, LindafromFlorida and butterfyeffect reacted to this

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erp    2,016

erp
Posted

My guy works out a few days a week at the gym and has for many years. Even so he has bad eating habits so he is probably 30 lbs overweight. Before surgery I weighed 20 pounds more than him, now I am more physically fit than he is and I weigh about 85 pounds less than him. This will happen for you too. :-)

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sassypants    674

sassypants
Posted

the guy i have been seeing on and off for the past 5 years is hot handsome works out total package even if i do say so myself lol

but no really everyone thinks hes lovely, hes been with me from 350lbs up to 425lbs and now throughout till i am now just over 200lbs now he thinks i have no clue how i look and he is not good enough for me any more that i can have anyone i want and some day soon i will realise this and off i go.

he is constantly on a diet and goes to the gym, let me tell you this man is not fat at all hes muscluar and soild and not even a big soild but my change is size has triggered his insecruites about himself.

i never felt insecure around him at any point its a bit of a curve ball to have this lovely guy who could get anyone he wanted feel insecure and not good enough for me now.

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feedyoureye    3,087

feedyoureye
Posted

the guy i have been seeing on and off for the past 5 years is hot handsome works out total package even if i do say so myself lol

but no really everyone thinks hes lovely, hes been with me from 350lbs up to 425lbs and now throughout till i am now just over 200lbs now he thinks i have no clue how i look and he is not good enough for me any more that i can have anyone i want and some day soon i will realise this and off i go.

he is constantly on a diet and goes to the gym, let me tell you this man is not fat at all hes muscluar and soild and not even a big soild but my change is size has triggered his insecruites about himself.

i never felt insecure around him at any point its a bit of a curve ball to have this lovely guy who could get anyone he wanted feel insecure and not good enough for me now.

Oh! Thats sad and sweet, I'm sure you let him know how awesome he is and all....

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sassypants    674

sassypants
Posted

Oh! Thats sad and sweet, I'm sure you let him know how awesome he is and all....

the guy i have been seeing on and off for the past 5 years is hot handsome works out total package even if i do say so myself lol

but no really everyone thinks hes lovely, hes been with me from 350lbs up to 425lbs and now throughout till i am now just over 200lbs now he thinks i have no clue how i look and he is not good enough for me any more that i can have anyone i want and some day soon i will realise this and off i go.

he is constantly on a diet and goes to the gym, let me tell you this man is not fat at all hes muscluar and soild and not even a big soild but my change is size has triggered his insecruites about himself.

i never felt insecure around him at any point its a bit of a curve ball to have this lovely guy who could get anyone he wanted feel insecure and not good enough for me now.

oh i do :)

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      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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