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so as i wasn't sure what to title this i thought i'd start writing first with the hope it would come to me as i typed. I've been banded 4mts now and am down almost 40lbs. when i share that number with folks they go WOW that is a LOT.. the small voice in the back of my head go YES it is.. so why is it i find that i can take no joy from my success. that when i get on the scale and see that it has hardly moved the urge to cry is almost uncontrollable. I know i need to bury the scale... but having it helps keep me accountable to myself..

it doesn't help that i scared the heck out of myself last night i got home starting and inhaled my dinner.. yes i know that's a big no no.. but any way later on the cough the pain in my stomach/port was almost unbearable and in fact i was getting up to call the doc as i was that worried when i burped.... and guess what the pain decreased almost right away.. by bed time it was almost completely gone the office confirmed this am it was just trapped gas that eating quickly will 1.. sometimes cause stuck moments or 2 can lead to too much air being ingested which will cause gas....

i'm just sure when i went from being on such a high from having the surgery and seeing the first big loss in years to this sad mopey person.. can some one just kick me?

any one else feeling this?

well i guess i just wanted rant for a while. typign and reading what i wrote already makes me want to shake myself

Edited by intelirish

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Sorry you are feeling so low, sometimes you just need to vent and you feel better. It's only been 6 days since I had my sleeve, and so far I'm ok, but there is a part of me that thinks what on earth have I done. In the year prior to my surgery I had lost 70lbs, but I realised that I could just as easily put it all back on and more without some intervention.

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Intelirish, I can relate to your feelings. Most people think I am upbeat all the time but the health problems that lead us to WLS can really get us down. The surgery will change our bodies but not our moods so much. I always say we women are just worriers, period. My scale moves slowly, and sometimes I wonder if I was really sleeved. I, like you, had a choking problem eating a soft piece of chicken too quickly without chewing enough. Scared me to death. Thought I was having a real heart attack. Good job on your weight loss, keep talking, things will work out. Get your mind set on how wonderful life will be when Spring comes. Being outdoors in the sunshine has me getting excited to think about it! Best wishes!

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Me too and you are doing much better then I am. I believe it will happen...just keep going!! This is for life!

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And don't forget, estrogen is stored in fat and as you burn fat, that estrogen is released. As you lose your hormones are crazy. This is normal. Don't beat yourself up over it. Take it day by day and you'll feel better.

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thanks guys.. i know it's crazy to feel this way - in my heart i know i'm looking and feeling so much better it's really driving me crazy i can't be happy about it. as you all said one day at a time.

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you might be depressed. call your regular doc for an appt. best to not ignore it. have you ever been to counseling?

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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