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So this Thursday is my surgery day. I had only told my husband and my parents up until now.

I had my band removed 8 weeks ago, and was ashamed to tell his family, I couldn't handle them judging me.

So today I wrote out what seemed like and easy text message, but wasn't... It took all my will to say that I am embarrassed of my weight and my failure with band. I'm ashamed I can't do this on my own. I want to be healthy and here for my children.

Talk about a moment of reflection, I prey that I don't fail at this one. CW 264 :(

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Mumoftwo Please don't feel a shame , you have made a decision to be healthy, you are beautiful and will be healthy, just take one day at a time , do not worry about tomorrow challenges or your past failures, you are moving forward and going in the right direction, it is not your fault that your band did not work, you are back with a better plan and I am sure this will work out for you. Stay positive we are here for you.

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Seems to me that you have nowhere to go but up with your feelings, emotions and future...

You have not given up..Your making another choice to further your goal of being healthy and happy...No one should judge you for that if they truly love you they will know the struggles you feel and how you would react to any negativity....

Self loathing is a dangerous path to take and you so do not deserve to feel that way about yourself....Your working it, doing what you have to do to make it better..No one needs to give you their opinions..Your doing this for you!

Please be gently with this girl ( you ) as she struggles to see how much she is doing and the pain it is all causing her emotionally!!!

You got this and you have us to be here for you!!!!!!!!!! Smile you are on your way...K

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I had the band removed about 4 months ago. I am going for the sleeve on January 28th. I had some of the same feelings as you did. Felt like a failure with it. I had lost all my weight with the band and then gained some back. I was embarrassed in front of people who knew I had the band. Now after reading all these posts about band to sleeve, I feel the band failed me. I wish I had known all the complications there was going to be. I wish I had known that most people don't keep the weight off and most never get to more than a 50 percent weight loss. This time around I have not shared this surgery with many people. I do not want their judgements about it. I wish I had known that was how it was going to be before I had the band in, I learned a lot with that and I only want people who are not going to be talking about it to other people that are going to be an encouragement to me. I wish you well.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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