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Yesterday I had a lot of feelings of anger. I am almost 4 weeks out and am wondering if this is me getting frustrated with my lack of control. Or almost me being in the angry stages of morning the good bye to binges.

My anger started at an under armor outlet with my family. My mom a fit 5'8 woman size 12/14 did not fit into their XL clothes, but my overweight father 42 inch wisest had no problem finding his size. It really upsets me how this country/ world is seeming so much more ok with overweight men than woman. Arg!

I got really frustrated with myself because as the day went on I could tell I was being very short with my son. My flight home was cancelled, so I was missing my OA meeting which I find very helpful. I ended up going to a local meeting by my parents house. If was different, but I still think it helped.

I don't know the point of this post, but maybe I'm wondering if anyone else has had these anger issues come up? Maybe I am just feeling it more because I can't drug myself with food.

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One of my good friends had a sleeve about 4 months before me and when she was about at your point she said to me, 'The biggest problem with this that I didn't expect is that I have to FEEL my feelings." I think it's an adjustment that many of us go through.

I know I was short and snappish for a while around 2-3 weeks out and the other theory is that you have both the after-effects of surgery to deal with, and that for whatever reason, losing weight unleashes a hormonal flood that really makes us emotional.

So yes, it's perfectly normal and if you ride it out a little longer it should mostly go away. But we all have to figure out how to deal with anger and sadness without the old fallback.

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I read about those feelings a lot here, the anger. Frustrations.

I think winter doldrums might also be a source, and we can look forward to sunshine, getting outdoors, taking a walk, or sitting in the park which will help a lot. Exercise is great so try to get the body in gear. Good for you taking advantage of the OA meetings. Never stop clawing your way to the top!!!!!

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I hear you regarding size difference: My daughter found this article and she sent it to me...You might find it a good read too!!

http://theantijared.com/2013/11/dear-luluemon-founder-chip-wilson-rip-pants-size-20.html

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Yeah! Lets get angry at 'the system'. I love getting angry at the system, me :D

Don't you think it is so true though...I wear Xl, L, M....in clothes depending on the make..And I hate it!!!!!!!!

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Great articles. The size discrimination really bothers me. My sister is 6' and typically ~ 180 and super fit ( she is pregnant right now, so a bit more). She lifts, runs and does yoga constantly, and still because she is a 10/12 she can't fit into some of these clothes. It is absurd!

Arg.

I do think I am feeling the feelings and it is tough. It is harder because I have been away from home for almost two weeks, so I haven't been to my therapist or support groups in a while. I'm hoping the weather in Chicago calms down so I can get home tomorrow. It is a double edge sword, I get so much support from my family, but am feeling like I need some me / alone time.

Thank you everyone for being here :)

Oh and yes the system - definitely the cause of all my problems.

Edited by Stacy_wls

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Hi Stacy! I see we both used Dr. Tiesenga. Hope you get home today! Stay warm.

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Hey! How neat. Do you go to any of the support groups? I have been to a couple, the people seem really nice.

When was your surgery date? Mine was 12/12/13.

It's nice to meets you :). I hope you are staying inside and warm out there. I can't believe how crazy it has been out there.

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At the three to four week mark, I became so moody - I'd bark at my husband or son at the drop of the hat. I was angry - pissed off, really and I couldn't identify why.

It lasted for about a week and now it's gone. Right now, I feel at peace.

I'm sure there's another round of rage hidden inside of me, we just need to take it one day at a time.

Hang in there...

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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