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Problem with Nosy Co-Worker! Need Advice!



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I too haven't told anyone about my WLS (no one at work and only a very few friends and family). I feel very strongly that my personal and medical history are mine. I'm a remote worker and am bracing for the reaction I'll get in January. I haven't seen most of my coworkers since my pre-op loss so, I'll be at about 100 pounds down. Luckily it's only for 2 weeks--no time for people to THAT in my face. Seriously, your person is getting close to violating HIPPA regulations. If your boss or an HR person were acting this way, they'd be subject to real consequences. I agree with everyone who recommended that you draw the line in the sand and tell her that the subject is now closed. I'm all in favor of helping fellow weight loss strugglers, but she's lost the privilege of whatever help you might have been able to give.

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Two words: Human Resources This woman actually IS harassing you. She is making the workplace an uncomfortable place for you to be. Put down in writing (half a page) the kinds of questions this woman has been asking you and for how long and how frequently she has done this. Put dates down. Then schedule a meeting with the HEAD of Human Resources in your company / firm. Or the boss. Tell them to make sure this woman leaves you the hell alone. You don't have to put up with this.

I totally agree. I'm a nurse manager in a hospital. I deal with employee relations more than I want to. What your coworker is doing is illegal and you need to report to your manager that this is happening. If it continues, you go immediately to HR. You do not have to tell a single person you've had surgery. You simply say I want the harassment to stop immediately. Just like it would be unacceptable for her to comment on race, religion or gender, it is inappropriate to comment on others physical features. This is creating a toxic work environment and you DO NOT DESERVE THIS and your employer should not tolerate it either. I would not tell your boss you had surgery. All you have to say is "comments on my appearance are unsolicited and unwanted and are causing a work distraction ". Good luck. And go take this person down. She is being paid (on the clock) when these conversations are happening- to WORK - not talk about what a coworkers weight is. Grrrrr

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I would be so DONE with this woman. Next time she asks anything change the subject to did I see you last night going into that ale house on main street with a bald guy? (name a sleazy bar).

On behalf of all bald guys we are insulted..........

Not really. :D

I have dropped only 20ish pounds and my payroll lady did the inquisition on me....I was preparing for this in the future NOT PRESURGERY. It floored me for a minute. It was very unexpected and a prelude to when I get down in weight further. I like the outrageous lies solution. I will prepare the most evil twisted responses....this could be fun!

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Tell her she has reached her quota of questions and it's time to move on. When I'm done with someone, I tell them just that! "I'm done with this topic, thank you very much"

I love this lol "you have reached you quota of questions" I will definitely use this.

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I would be sarcastic.

So to the question 'how much have you lost?'

Absolutely tons.

Question 'how much did you eat yesterday.'

Absolutely nothing.

When she looks at you in an odd way then say, but I'll be sure to pass on YOUR worries to my doctor and my nutritionist.

I've never told my co-workers and I never will.

Four people know and that's the way I like it.

It is nobody's business but your own (and all of us here!)

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Lol^^^ this but maybe simply start with this- look at her square in the eye & say, "I notice that you are very concerned with my diet plan- why?" I would think that might force her to see how her own behavior effects you. Sometimes people don't understand how annoying their own behaviors are to others... & sometimes well-intentioned pains in the ass need to be reminded to look in the mirror!

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Lol^^^ this but maybe simply start with this- look at her square in the eye & say, "I notice that you are very concerned with my diet plan- why?" I would think that might force her to see how her own behavior effects you. Sometimes people don't understand how annoying their own behaviors are to others... & sometimes well-intentioned pains in the ass need to be reminded to look in the mirror!

Asking why she is concerned,....

good idea. Now she is on the defensive. The reason for her inquisition is a bigger problem than the reason for your weight loss.

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The only person that knows at work us my HR rep. I had one lady that seemed to be a bit obsessive with my weight loss. Every conversation we had always turned the focus on my weight loss. I tried to tell her politely a few times, but it didn't work. The last time, 4 months ago, I told her she was getting out of hand, she was being offensive & it must stop. Can you believe her feelings were hurt & she's not said another word to me since?

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When asked about my recent leave of absence by co-workers, I enjoyed giving numerous ridiculous responses such as "Getting a face lift for my 36th birthday!" or "Finally getting those butt implants so I look like JLo". Needless to say, there were no follow-up questions.

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I need some advice!!! I haven't told people at work about the surgery (only 1 person who I am friends with outside of work knows). I have lots of reasons for that, and it's the decision I've made. My medical history is not the concern of my co-workers.

However, there is this one staff assistant in our department who DAILY asks me what i'm doing in a very confrontational way. I say the same thing (all truths) ....lots of Protein and Water, few carbs, exercise. Every.Single.Day....she presses me...like she doesn't believe me. When we have work lunches she will call me out and make some kind of snide or sarcastic comment about how much I am (not) eating. It's super annoying.

This morning she cornered me when I took some of my exams over for her to copy. She started with, "what did you eat exactly yesterday??" "How much more weight do you want to lose???" "What is your goal weight exactly?" "Do you think you're being healthy??" And on and on. It's honestly getting to the point where I might have to just say something. I am normally a very nice person and I don't like to make people feel badly, but what she is doing is incredibly rude. I would "MAYBE" expect it from someone I counted as a friend, but I barely know her.

How would you address the situation or would you just let it go???

How have things gone with co-worker?

Give us an update!

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