High Bmi Banders

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

this is about me...i had a high starting BMI

whomever reads my posts/blogs, please understand i am not bragging...boasting or trying to flatter you all with how wonderful i am....and that i am cured of being super morbid obese...i will never be cured.....my journey to better health is until i take my last breath.

i am who i am.....a female in her late 40s..who started out as was as wide she was tall...i am relating to whomever i can..hopefully to the larger BMI people and those who had trouble moving..that was me......key word WAS....i am hoping someone will read/see me and go, you know if that crazy fat chick can, then maybe so can i..

i was at the last resort...i had trouble wiping myself
i was scared to lay on the bed for fear it would break
and god knows i wasnt going anywhere (people laugh at people like me) and i was/am still scared of someone snapping a pic of me and putting it on fat people shopping at walmart......i was so large, i could not walk...i couldnt not stand more than 5 minutes...i hurt everywhere...i hurt not only inside but outside...i never wanted to wake up in the mornings.....

i post to try and reach whomever needs it.
i do not want anyone to think i am better than they are because i am NOT.

i have a few pm's from people (kinda snarky) in regards to fills.....does she or doesnt she.....(nope i do not....the dr did not put a fill in me with a long needle while awake)..they did a primer at surgery...no idea how much or if it is still in there.i will know when i ever get a fill.....so that is my answer to those who say snarky comments....it is what it is..

and when i do get one (if ever) who knows...sometimes when i read people getting fill after fill and scheduling their first ones day out of surgery, i sometimes wonder what i am (missing)...i am human after all.....

but if i do and when i do have a fill...i will NOT be so tight as i can only drink.....to me that is stupid and dangerous..living is not about only being able to drink...that is just not right.....i will not allow myself to fall into that..sure you can and will lose on all liquids.....but its not a healthy way.....dont care what you say...ask your dr and get their answer on living life on liquids...

so, i have the plication...similar to the sleeve but NOT the sleeve its a new thing (not a fad) and its early in the stages....the dr did this to me after explaining the situation i was in and with my BMI being a massive 62, he wanted to help me..as i did not want the bypass...my dr wanted me to do that but i was too scared..damn near 350 pounds but still to scared to have something to help me...

i remember telling him i would make this band work. he did not look very sure of that...well, nearly 150 pounds lighter, yeah, i said i made it work...I HAD TO...the fact is this about me..this is what i do...day in and day out.

i eat to lose weight
i eat what i want...when i want which is when i am hungry...read that again

i eat when i am HUNGRY

i do not diet

i do not spend my days counting calories...i know what i eat..i make excellent choices..(you can choose baked over fried, fresh over boxed)...i know what goes into the food (as my hub and me prepare/package/measure it 98% of the time).....i am aware 3500 calories is a pound..i know not to eat more calories then i can burn off..simple math.....and the band/plication HELPS me with the amount by signaling a very full feeling to me......to STOP.....

i do not eat something and say i am horrible and that i am a failure and i am weak and i blew it..this is dieting thinking..

i know one meal (of whatever) wont make me gain 10 pounds of actual weight and one excellent healthy meal wont make me lose 10 pounds of actual weight....its a day in and day out process.....until people realize that.....they are stuck in the on going diet round and round process...

eat better/healthier foods
make choices that are good for you

YOU CAN IF YOU WANT

if you start saying its xmas and i cant control myself, yeah you can and you could if you wanted..just like me....i have to make those choices also.

and i exercise every day..i do it....and get on with it......day in and day out..dont care what you do as long as you do....its up to you to do what you have to do..

i see it this journey from a former 336 pound person...a starting BMI of 62 it was either get bigger or get it done..

and here i am......where are you?

Edited December 6, 2013 by ☠carolinagirl☠

[JOANNE M HOLL 388]

Good Morning CG.

You really hit my spot this a.m.! Just what I needed with my first cup of coffee. Thanks!

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

Good Morning CG.

You really hit my spot this a.m.! Just what I needed with my first cup of coffee. Thanks!

[lisacaron 5,075]

Thanks CG. I had some of those feelings and issues myself just before we made the decision to go for weight loss surgery.

My loss has been slow and I wish the band and the plication worked for me the way it's working for you CG. I knew going in that it would not be the "magic" bullet. Volume of food was never my big issue. I had lots of digestive issues and the start of crones disease. The surgery has stemmed all of that for me, and I am feeling so much better! If only I could keep myself healthy and not keep getting respiratory infections it would be easier to stay on track.

There are days when I fall back into the old Lisa way of being. My big issue is that I don’t take care of myself. I rush and I run and do for everyone else and then I realize oh yeah, I didn’t eat Breakfast, and now I’m starving and my tummy is growling and I’m feeling weak. So I rush to get something to eat and maybe it’s not a good choice, or maybe I over eat it because I’m so hungry and think well no Breakfast so I’ll eat it now. (bad thinking)

I don’t get the Water in that I should and feeling well enough and making time to get to the gym…I can find more excuses then most to just not do it! (slapping myself in the ass!)

I have to remind myself that I only feel as good as I do today because of my band, and I need to honor it and take care of myself. I stop on here and read the inspiration of others, and even the snarky stuff of still others, and I use that to motivate me. Sometimes I need something snarky to wake me up to my ignorance

The band is a great tool it never lets me forget it’s there and it’s really what I need to help me keep my head in the game that is my life! I’m feeling better after another week of bronchitis, and maybe I will even get to the gym for a bit today just to walk and that will be a big accomplishment for me this week.

TGIF!