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Telling Friends And Family...



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How did everyone tell there friends and family. Should I tell them all at once or individually. What kind of reactions should I expect.

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Everyone has to decide who they will tell and even if they will tell. Most folks are supportive but there most definitely are exceptions so if you decide to tell everyone, you might benefit from preparing yourself mentally for a negative reaction or two. Those negative reactions often come in the form of "I had this friend/relative/co-worker..." followed by some horror story. There are roughly 200,000 bariatric surgeries performed in the U.S. alone every year. If you or the person telling the story personally knew 2,000 folks who had a "bad experience" following bariatric surgery, that would be one percent of the surgery population for a single year. Bottom line - the odds are overwhelmingly in your favor of having a successful, life changing experience.

Personally, I told friends and family as the opportunities arose. I didn't go out of my way to make any kind of group announcement. But I also didn't hesitate to tell anyone that expressed an interest. My reasoning was that sooner or later folks were going to know anyway. Lose 100+ pounds and people will notice. I was fortunate that everyone was very supportive. But I was prepared for negative reactions had they occurred. I had done the research, knew exactly what I was getting into, and almost certainly had a great deal more knowledge of the risks and benefits of the surgery than anyone who might have felt compelled to try to persuade me otherwise.

You're gonna love the new you!!

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I only told those closest to me beforehand bacause i was so emotional about it. Now that my surgery is done, i'm happy to share with anyone. A friend of mine has decided to get gastric bypass after hearing about my positive experience. Feels great to support a friend thru rhis journey!

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I only told a few people husband, supervisor, oldest kid before surgery. I just did not want to hear negativity. When I returned to work everyone knew because my supervisor told some people and of course they told some people, Now at work I am the person serious people want to talk to about WLS. Three people have had the surgery because they see my results and my lifestyle. They tell me that I look happier and I look so cute in my clothes. I don't hide the fact that had WLS but it is a personal matter and I treat it as such.

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I work with the public. I don't want to share my personal information with total strangers, some of whom really give me the heebie-jeebies. I've had coworkers who were stalking victims and personally have had inappropriate and unwanted attentions. Sharing anything personal with strangers only puts you at further risk. Whether or not to share is a personal choice that only you can make. Negative comments and lack of support are discouraging and frustrating. People close to you can surprise you. People who really care about you will support and encourage you but some may have reservations at first. In the beginning my husband neither supported nor discouraged me - he wasn't negative but he was was afraid something terrible could happen. When his fears didn't materialize he became my biggest supporter. :-)

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I've been very open with a select few. I've shared my story with people close to me and have been candid when asked by some folks and if I felt they would benefit from hearing my story. I am pretty much an open person but I do like to keep certain things private. I was a lot more open with people until I had a few not so nice and negative comments from "friends" and then I decided it was a need to know basis. I don't regret my journey and I'm not ashamed. I just don't wanna open myself up to more hurtful opinions and comments anytime soon.

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I'm very open, friends and family knew beforehand and were 100% supportive (worried, but supportive). I initially had not planned to tell my patients (I'm a PA) however, quickly discovered that they noticed every darn pound and that I couldn't lie to them about it...would make me feel like a hypocrite so, when they mention it, I say yup, I'm losing, if they ask, I tell em the truth. I've had a few say they can't believe I needed to do that and I honestly tell them I've spent my entire life obese and this is what I needed to do to be healthy. I've yet to get a negative response to that.

You have to do what you are comfortable with...I'm comfortable being open. It works for me. (Except with grandparents...Lordy Lordy, they were tough)

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I told only the souls that needed to know. My MIL+FIL, husband and my ex-friend and her husband ... aaaand who ever in my husband's unit indirectly had to be told (Red Cross message). I've been keeping it that way ever since surgery. It's a personal choice that feels right with me. You have to do what feels right for you.

Edited by ArmyOfMe

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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