I Decided I Want To Live At 47Yo

[bearman99 228]

So, I am 47 years old and I decided (finally) I want to live. This is new......

First, a little personal history.

In 1966 I was born significantly underweight. I almost killed my Mom when I was born (I was always a handful :-) ). She ended up having a historectemy because of it. This was the only point in my life I was underweight or normal weight. Shortly thereafter I was always "pudgy" or "stocky".

In 7th grade I plumped up even more and at 5'7" entered high school at 230lbs. I kept gaining through sophomore year up to 250lbs. I graduated High School at 270lbs. The lowest I have been since 1984 was 280. The highest was (estimated 350ish) and I was there within the last 2 years.

In 2000 I was admitted to the hospital with (BS 964 - yep and I wasn't in a coma) inability to sleep, peeing all the time, and a skin infection that was pretty nasty.....yep, diabetes T2 was with me now. I remember being prescribed a diet where I could eat 2C of raisin bran and skim milk along with some fruit.....but I digress towards a scathing diatribe about 2000's accepted dietary guidelines.

Now all along I have had high blood pressure. Pretty much since high school it was high. I, being a guy and purposefully choosing to ignore the silent things, didn't do anything about it for quite a while. In early 2011 I was fatigued and tired all the time. I had also mysteriously gained 30 lbs in about 6 weeks. So I went in to the hospital "not feeling well" and when the nurse checked my blood pressure hit the emergency call channel to have me admitted immediately (240/180 will do that).....I was in AFIB and it turns out had heart failure from Fluid build up. I lost a bunch of weight after this getting down to 290 (from 340ish), getting my heart back into sinus rhythm. According to my cardiologist he is amazed at my hearts recovery back into what is considered "normal" with my pumping ability (his words not mine) "fully recovered".

So I have Hypertension, Diabetes, Hyperlipidia, borderline Kidney issues, and gout. I am on 11 medications for hypertension and 3 meds (incl Lantus) for diabetes. My Mom had hypertension really bad all her life too, died from cancer though nothing related to the heart.

And it was just a few months ago (my ability to live in denial is EPIC) I finally woke up and said to myself "I want to live"....not just live like in living to an age, I mean actually live life like this is it and not a dress rehearsal.

So here I am scheduled for surgery on Dec 24 and a self-pay to boot (direct exclusions suck).

I am a bit scared of the surgery. I am very scared of me. My ability to live in denial and ignore things that should not be ignored is well refined and dangerous. My Mom 35 years ago has a gastric bypass and she lost 150 lbs and eventually keeping 100lbs off while using OA as her lifelong counselling until her death in recent years. My Mom's sister had the same surgery lost 100 lbs and 2 years later gained it all back plus 50 lbs.....which one am I (says my fear in my head).

I have been trying to not drink 30 min before, during or 30 min after a meal....holy crap I had no idea how much I used liquids to wash food down. This of course adds to my trepidation and general unease.

So, I want to live. I have had two major health warning shots in my life. I believe the Sleeve will aid in this life change. I am a bit scared.

Thank you for reading. Now, off to read all the good info on this site. I will share more as it happens.

[No game 14,437]

1966 baby here too. I had surgery a year ago. I've had challenges through the year but the good days far outweigh the hard ones and I wouldn't change my decision to find health for anything

Good luck to you next month!

[LuckyT 58]

1964 here! I truly understand your concerns as I shared them. My "I want to live" moment came in 2009 when I survived a pulmonary embolism. I got lap band surgery a year later because I was scared of gastric bypass but then the lap band made me pretty much bulimic and I never lost more than 40lbs with the darn thing. I am a month out from sleeve surgery (lap band was removed last April) and I so totally think this surgery is going to give me that life that I decided I wanted to have when I nearly died. In a month I have lost 30lbs and I feel so good in comparison to how I felt before. I can't tell you that it is the answer for you but I can tell you it is well worth considering. I finally feel in control of my body, my hunger and my emotions - I love my sleeved tummy

[bearman99 228]

3 week checkup today

Surgeon, nut and NP were all overjoyed with my weight loss.

I am now moving onto mushies....yay.

46lbs loss since Thanksgiving, 22lbs lost in the last 20 days from VSG surgery.

Exercising on treadmill 20-30 minutes 6 times a week out of seven (allow myself a skip day).

Diabetes is held in check with diet and exercise - not yet "cured" but no need for meds when eating this way and exercising.

Averaging 680 calories per day, 33 cho, 99g pro, 19g fat, 84oz liquid daily.

Only downside is after I charge the hill and get into my work after 6-8 hours I hit a wall and have to basically lay down.....I was told today this is normal through about 6 weeks post-op.

Anyway, the journey is underway. Thrilled to be here, thrilled to be heading a healthier direction.

I wish everyone happiness and great health.

[lessismore67 158]

Congratulations bearman! Great weight loss results already and you sound so positive and motivated.Welcome to a new and healthy sleeve life.

[CubsWinCubsWin 108]

What a story, thank you for sharing what you went through to get where you are today. I'm sorry to hear that you had to self-pay. It makes much more sense for an insurance company to pay for WLS than to treat the dozen other ailments being so heavy brings.

[Lucky6798 35]

Congrats!! Good luck!!

[grandmaacj 12]

bearman99 great job and I was self pay as well and I understand totally. We are in a much better place health wise than we would ever be on our own. And will live a healthier and longer life. Keep strong and keep up good job.

[bearman99 228]

Tomorrow will be my 2 month surgeversiry.

I am now 66lbs less than I was when I started this journey. At 268lbs I am lower than when I graduated high school. I am kinda freeking out right now. Excited, scared, doubt-filled. So far, the very best decision for my health in my life. I look forward to removing more medications from my daily intake.

Right now I have to still remind myself to eat otherwise I do not get enough calories and Protein. I am eating more than my NUT requires and I am not exercising the way I should. I have been losing 3lbs a week pretty consistent. Though it bounces a lot. From yesterday to today I dropped 3 lbs. I will be starting some kind of regular exercise but am not being too hard on myself. Any changes I make I make sure they are permanent and not just a change to lose weight for today only.

So far, so good.

[CrazyJaney 775]

"And it was just a few months ago (my ability to live in denial is EPIC) I finally woke up and said to myself "I want to live"....not just live like in living to an age, I mean actually live life like this is it and not a dress rehearsal."

This sentence could have been said by me. Truly, this just about sums it up. Cheers to you as you continue on this journey! Great job. I'm waiting for my date. Hopeful to have surgery in March. Thank you for sharing!

[fit2Bme2014 38]

Totally relate to you 'epic' abilities! I'm working on mine and afraid it's going to be a lifelong struggle. I really can't afford to ignore the fact that my health is only deteriorating and it's my own fault. I have to do something. 15 more pounds and I can have surgery!

Edited March 1, 2014 by fit2Bme2014

[bearman99 228]

Here I am 8 months later and 103lbs lighter.

All meds have been reduced and over half of them have been eliminated. Not sure normal BP will happen with zero meds but a huge improvement from where I was. I still have fat to lose and it is slow going now as well as it occurs in spurts. Frustrating at times.

I eat between 1200 and 1500 calories on average. I get 80 to 150g Protein. I have pretty much eaten everything just in way reduced proportions.

My new worries revolve around using alcohol. I have been enjoying imbibing spirits and this worries me I might get taken in by a different addiction than food.

It probably relates to the somewhat disappointing reality for me. When I imagined losing 100 lbs that I would then have rainbows, happy leprechauns, constant happiness, women swooning on me, and all my issues eliminated. What a delusional fool I was/am. Life still sucks at times.

I am grateful for many things. The sleeve has brought me more face to face with me. I have MORE raw emotional me than before. This is daunting at times.

Zero regret so far. I am active trying to get political machine to help pay for bariatric surgery in the US. For those ready and with serious medical weight related issues it is the way to go.

Anyways, today I broke through with 103lb lost so I thought an update was in order.

So, I am 47 years old and I decided (finally) I want to live. This is new...... First, a little personal history. In 1966 I was born significantly underweight. I almost killed my Mom when I was born (I was always a handful :-) ). She ended up having a historectemy because of it. This was the only point in my life I was underweight or normal weight. Shortly thereafter I was always "pudgy" or "stocky". In 7th grade I plumped up even more and at 5'7" entered high school at 230lbs. I kept gaining through sophomore year up to 250lbs. I graduated High School at 270lbs. The lowest I have been since 1984 was 280. The highest was (estimated 350ish) and I was there within the last 2 years. In 2000 I was admitted to the hospital with (BS 964 - yep and I wasn't in a coma) inability to sleep, peeing all the time, and a skin infection that was pretty nasty.....yep, diabetes T2 was with me now. I remember being prescribed a diet where I could eat 2C of raisin bran and skim milk along with some fruit.....but I digress towards a scathing diatribe about 2000's accepted dietary guidelines. Now all along I have had high blood pressure. Pretty much since high school it was high. I, being a guy and purposefully choosing to ignore the silent things, didn't do anything about it for quite a while. In early 2011 I was fatigued and tired all the time. I had also mysteriously gained 30 lbs in about 6 weeks. So I went in to the hospital "not feeling well" and when the nurse checked my blood pressure hit the emergency call channel to have me admitted immediately (240/180 will do that).....I was in AFIB and it turns out had heart failure from Fluid build up. I lost a bunch of weight after this getting down to 290 (from 340ish), getting my heart back into sinus rhythm. According to my cardiologist he is amazed at my hearts recovery back into what is considered "normal" with my pumping ability (his words not mine) "fully recovered". So I have Hypertension, Diabetes, Hyperlipidia, borderline Kidney issues, and gout. I am on 11 medications for hypertension and 3 meds (incl Lantus) for diabetes. My Mom had hypertension really bad all her life too, died from cancer though nothing related to the heart. And it was just a few months ago (my ability to live in denial is EPIC) I finally woke up and said to myself "I want to live"....not just live like in living to an age, I mean actually live life like this is it and not a dress rehearsal. So here I am scheduled for surgery on Dec 24 and a self-pay to boot (direct exclusions suck). I am a bit scared of the surgery. I am very scared of me. My ability to live in denial and ignore things that should not be ignored is well refined and dangerous. My Mom 35 years ago has a gastric bypass and she lost 150 lbs and eventually keeping 100lbs off while using OA as her lifelong counselling until her death in recent years. My Mom's sister had the same surgery lost 100 lbs and 2 years later gained it all back plus 50 lbs.....which one am I (says my fear in my head). I have been trying to not drink 30 min before, during or 30 min after a meal....holy crap I had no idea how much I used liquids to wash food down. This of course adds to my trepidation and general unease. So, I want to live. I have had two major health warning shots in my life. I believe the Sleeve will aid in this life change. I am a bit scared. Thank you for reading. Now, off to read all the good info on this site. I will share more as it happens.

[lose4life2 152]

Great job bearman!!! My surgery is 9/23. 3 days before I turn 45. Although hyperlipidemia is the only issue I have other than 150 overweight, I guess I'm healthy otherwise ????????????. I can't wait to be in your shoes!!! Keep up the good work!!

[ShortiAKA 6]

Bear man you story is phenomenal. How are you doing now? Your story could be my husband's but I can't wait for him to have that aha moment!!! I pray this finds you well!!!