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Hi all! I'm brand spanking new here :)

I went for the consult and am going through the pre-op hoops, sleep apnea study, support group, etc.

I am in the middle of a crummy divorce and still on the STBX's very good insurance, so he will know about it eventually. He will most likely be quite nasty about it, mocking, etc. Not a support person candidate.

I'm pretty sure my mom will not be on board, she is a thoroughly decent person whom I love very much, but she will probably respond to my news by telling me to just eat more vegetables instead, etc. And my siblings are out as candidates -- negative nellies.

So I'm so seriously excited about getting my life back. This soft, protective suit served its purpose and protected me from my STBX, but now that he's gone, it's time for the suit to go too. I can't wait to breathe freely, literally and figuratively!!

But what to do about a support person???

Edited by Feelingbetternow41

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I didn't have a "support person" and I did just fine . . . what are you envisioning this person will do for you? There may be some heavy housework type stuff that you need help with for the first 2 - 4 weeks -- other than that, barring complications, most people can handle post-surgery on their own. I did have a friend who drove me to the hospital and then drove me home after, but that was pretty much it.

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This Board can support you. Also, check out the support groups WITHIN THE BOARD for some closer to wherever you live.

Sorry about the Ex, We are not all a$$es

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We can be your support. I had a good support with family and co workers but it always help to have a support group that understands what you are going through.

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There's no support group in my town & I don't want to drive 90 minutes one way to the hospital for those support group meetings. This site is great, plus there are FB groups as well. One other thing I did was to ask both my NUT and the psychologist who did my eval about any other WLS clients they were working with. I asked if they would mind giving my email address to those other clients & asking them to email me if they were interested in meeting up. I connected with 2 other local ladies that way & we have stayed in touch. Good luck to you & welcome to VST!

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Congratulations on having a mind of your own. Do this for yourself. The other people in your life do not have your aches and pains or emotional baggage. Sounds like it is time to invest in your own health and well-being. I have been through two divorces and came through fine with my head held high. Walk away and don't look back. In the long run, you will be happier. You do you, and good luck with your surgery.

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Where do u live?

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Well I'll be darned: support persons are not required everywhere, I take it? The bariatric team I consulted with has a requirement of actually meeting the support person.

I'm glad to be learning already on this site! Thank you for your replies.

And about the ex, I found my peace. That's partly why I'm here. Dealing with a difficult truth is 1000000 times better than not dealing at all.

Namaste

Edited to add: I live in Chicago, met with U of C, will go for second opinion per PCP to Northwestern.

Advice welcome!!! Thank you!!!

Edited by Feelingbetternow41

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Wonder what the hippa laws are concerning that? Does the insurance company give the primary insured the right to know?

Anyone have insight to that?

Good luck to you, sounds like you are taking great control of your life! And yes, this place can be the best support!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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