Stressed out scared and crying a lot help me please

[FrankieP83 2]

Let me start off by saying my name is frankie I'm 30 years old and had vsg on September 26th 2013 and I'm an emotional wreck absolute wreck I'm crying every day wishing I wouldn't have done my surgery even thought I haven't had a complication I'm three weeks out I'm scared every day thinking of what if I leak or what if I have a stricture or what if I never feel normal what if something happens down the road even now I'm crying I can't sleep well I can't function well I'm always scared and crying i don't know what todo I feel like iv made the biggest mistake of my life omg I'm breaking down and I need help!

[SleeveFox 10]

I'm 30 yearsold aswell. Had my surgery on Sep 16, so about 10 days before you did.

If you haven't had a complication now theres very little chance that you will have a serious complication down the road I think.

Do you feel bad? Do you find it hard to eat? Why do you think the surgery was a mistake?

If you're having emotional stress over the operation I suggest you try and talk to a psychologist perhaps? Do you have access to one?

[Sony22 6]

Frankie, I was the same way.. My emotions were off the charts.. I promise it will pass. Just relax and try not to work yourself up to much. Every noise my tummy made every weird feeling , I panicked. I look back now and wish I wouldn't have stressed myself out as bad. I had my sleeve in Nov of this past year.. I will admit it took me several months to get past where you are now, but wish I wouldn't have put myself through all that... hang in there hun. P.S. thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life.... But now I know it was the best decision I could ever have made for myself. It just takes a while for your emotions and brain to catch u with your new tummy..

Edited October 17, 2013 by Sony22

[LoryLosesXS 154]

Let me start off by saying my name is frankie I'm 30 years old and had vsg on September 26th 2013 and I'm an emotional wreck absolute wreck I'm crying every day wishing I wouldn't have done my surgery even thought I haven't had a complication I'm three weeks out I'm scared every day thinking of what if I leak or what if I have a stricture or what if I never feel normal what if something happens down the road even now I'm crying I can't sleep well I can't function well I'm always scared and crying i don't know what todo I feel like iv made the biggest mistake of my life omg I'm breaking down and I need help!

I'll share what works for me, hoping it will help you. What I know for sure is our thoughts are powerful. If what we are thinking is causing us pain....in that moment we must make another choice to get out of pain. I focus on what I'm grateful for. Even if it's being grateful for being able to see, taste, feel, hear, and smell. I slow down and listen to my breath knowing there is a force that pumps the blood through my body and air through my lungs. I reach out to positive inspirational leaders online and read my ass off and fill my mind with good thoughts. 2 weeks out I thought I was going to go insane. I had to dig deep. Everything is our choice as to how we view our circumstances. For me chewing was like heaven. What I know for sure is if I don't like what I am seeing I change the way I look at things. Works every time!!! I promise. You may also want to ask your doc for Xanax. It can help with emotions that may be uncontrollable temporarily. Best Wishes!!!

[ruthie74 101]

I'm four months out now but from day after my surgery till I was about 2 months out I felt the same way! I was worried all the time...emotional....I even got into a near physical fight with a person who cut me in line! Normally I wouldn't care if someone cut me! Now? I'm better! Feel great and I am no longer getting into fights lol Try not to worry. It's going to be ok. Try not reading posts on leaks! I keep away from those because they make me nervous! As long as I'm not reading those and I'm fine!

Edited October 17, 2013 by ruthie74

[Tamiz1067 10]

I feel the same way Frankie...I'm 2 weeks out & cry all the time thinking about eating & seeing all the stupid food commercials on the t.v I was thinking "what have I done" but I know it will be worth it in the end..Good Luck

[FrankieP83 2]

I have a councilor but I feel like she does not help me much she really has no advice for me she just listens to me I really am stressed because I'm just scared of problems I have just started my mushy foods and eggs didn't sit well and I'm worried that I will never feel normal or my Vsg will case bad problems and it can kill me I'm so scared

[Roo101769 742]

Frankie...I am so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time emotionally with having the surgery. Given your age you have a lot of life ahead of you, so it is possible you haven't experienced a lot of "life changers" yet. This is certainly a huge life changer. How did you feel about it before you did it? Was there still doubts as they sent you into the O.R., or did you believe you were doing the right thing? That could be where the problems began... Either way you are here now, it is done. Stressing the "what ifs" will not help you one bit at this point. You have to live your life, and that is now a life with the sleeve. I strongly encourage you to seek some counseling. You may need something to help balance out your emotions during this early time with your new and improving body. But you also need to focus on the positives, not the negatives. You made it through surgery. You had no complications. You cared enough about yourself and your future to seek out this surgery to begin with. There was obviously a need to change yourself physically, at least you felt that at the time. Now it is done. Sometimes you just have to give things over to whatever higher power you believe in. Find some positives to cling to in these difficult days, no matter how small they may be. Eventually the positives will grow larger as you grow smaller. There will be so many opportunities to live your life in ways you probably can't even begin to fathom yet. The saying "it is always darkest before the dawn" is running through my head right now. It may seem very dark. But you found VST and let it be your light until the dawn comes. Try to believe it WILL get better. Each day find one thing to be thankful for or happy about. It may be hard at first, but it will become so much easier over time. I think your fear of the unknown is taking over, don't let it. Our whole lives are unknown, no matter how carefully we try to plan them. Live your life. Understand that you are worth this. You are giving yourself the chance to be healthy. Find your supports and use them, wherever or whoever they may be. In time you won't need the support anymore and will soar on your own!!! I hope you find peace soon...

[FrankieP83 2]

Thank you all this is helping me

[kathp 81]

Frankie,

You're going to be ok. You need to believe that. At this point, the chance of complication is getting lower than immediately after. I caused myself a problem the week after surgery because I wasn't taking my antidepressants with all the other stuff I had to manage (protein and liquids and vitamins), and then a few more weeks after that some other meds changed and I went haywire. Additionally, the realization that it's a big change, and that life is going to be better is somewhat scary. Believe in yourself! You took a big step, and it was a good thing. A healthy one. Focus on what you're going to be able to do with the new you. Make a list of post-op goals (your non-scale victory goals) and start checking them off. Take life in small chunks, and not in big giant ones. Remember that saying about the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.

You can do it! We're here to help!

[FrankieP83 2]

I really want to just feel ok again this stress is driving me crazy

[Arts137 1,811]

You ARE going to be fine! The good news is that the 'biggest" time for leaks or strictures is right after surgery, and there are few complications more than 6 or 8 weeks out!

Rampant emotions are really common as well... just know that you are normal and doing well!

[kvdme 64]

Truth is, you will eat all the foods you love really soon, chances are so slim for a leak you chances of getting hit by bus are about the same. You stomach was outstretched for years. They removed 80% of a flaccid, over stretched,hormone causing,fat gathering,life threatening problem.

As I get further along, three weeks nex monday, I know I can live better, healthier and happier. Fat discrimination is horrible, we have all lived with it. Your choice was for all this.

Your now eating to live, not living to eat, your stomach can't control you any more!!

If not eating things you love bothers you, I myself am a comfort eater, taste those foods,chew it well, spit it out, helps with not feeling deprived.

[Fixerupper 335]

Many of us have been where you are. On the bright side it sounds like you have not had any physical complications. It is so hard to find ways other than food for dealing with our emotions. I missed the ability to turn to food in those times. Things will get much much better and before you know it you will adjust to this new normal. Please hang in there. We're here to support you.

[DianaE 128]

WITH AS MUCH PAIN AS YOU ARE CAUSING YOURSELF EMOTIONALLY THERE DOESNT SEEM TO BE MUCH DIFFERENCE IF IT WAS REALLY HAPPENING TO YOU.

My point is you ARE NOT having complications and you should focus on that. I too did not have complications and feel very blessed.. Did i worry if I felt something different inside? Yep.. I would cock my head to the side as if I was listening, stop breathing for a sec, and wait to see if it happened again, if not I would forget about it and move on. The fears are normal, but not to the degree it seems you are experiencing. Find another counselor if they are not helping. There are also groups that have sessions / call in #'s you can join of you can find the info. I did one as prerequisite for the surgery.

There is no reversal so you have to look forward. You will be fine.. I cant wait to hear from you in a few months when you are succesful with this and going "what was I thinking"