I am thinking about telling people I'm going in for a hernia surgery but I'm not sure if the specefics are similar to WLS. (Incisions, pain level, hospital time etc)

Will you lie? And if so what will you say?

I didn't lie and won't lie. However, for the vast majority of people I told them I was having surgery and left it at that. A few people asked me "is everything okay?" and I just said yes, nothing to worry about, not life-threatening, I promise. A few other people acted like they wanted to ask me more about it but I just changed the subject and refused to go there.

Since I have lost a fair amount of weight post-op, I've had one co-worker ask me if I had a gastric bypass. I told her no, I explained the sleeve and how it works. She was really happy for me and thought it was great. I assume word has now traveled throughout the library (she is a blabbermouth and I didn't ask her to keep it to herself) but no one else has said anything to me.

It depends. I haven't had the surgery yet but I will definitely be selective in who I tell. I am not ashamed of it but it's just a personal decision and I don't want certain people knowing.

It depends…. People that I have told already about my pending surgery was either encouraging and some were not so encouraging. The ones that were not so encouraging I think are jealous. Therefore, for me it depends on who asks. At the end of the day, we still need to watch what we eat and exercise the way other people lose their weight. We just went that extra step to help us on your journey, so it will not be a far stretch from the truth if I do not mention the surgery. Again, it depends....

I do know someone that confided in me and told me about her surgery. She didn't know at the time that I was in the works with doing my own surgery, so I was very happy she confided in me. Now I have someone I know that I can talk to about this which really puts me at ease. When someone else asked her what is her secret she responded "diet and exercise". She looks FABULOUS and the fun part is she doesn't diet &/or exercise at all. Her take on this question is that it is no one's business, but her's. She told me that only a select "very" few knows about her surgery. She told me not to tell anyone else because you will get the mix responses as I have gotten already. She is literally the last person I told.

Curious to see what others will say and their reasoning.

Edited October 15, 201312 yr by ReEstDec2013

I'm still on the fence about whether to lie or not.

I'm thinking of going with the hernia surgery story and when asked about my weight loss say that I lost my taste for everything after the surgery and am leveraging that for weight loss..

My surgery may be happening soon so I really need to deal with this.

The second part of my question is - what lie will fit our scenario the best? (2 night hospital stay, small laparoscopic scars, a week off if work, etc)

No, I've already told a fair amount of people, I've had a little negative criticism, for the most part all positive. After surgery I'll continue to tell people when they ask about the weight loss. I am so excited and happy about about this and people notice this when I talk about the surgery so I think they hold back any negative comments they might have. In all honesty I could care less what other people think, especially when it comes to my health as long as my immediate family is on board, I don't care what other people feel regarding this matter.

I am not planning on lying per se. More like omitting some of the details. LOL.

I'm telling people that I know will support me and not judge my decision or give me their personal thoughts on weight loss surgery and those I trust won't go immediately and blab to others. I don't want the judgement - I only want positive things in my life during this process.

With that said, if/when someone asks about my weight loss, I imagine I will say something like, "I've been working really hard. Eating right, exercising, blah blah blah." I'm fortunate that I work from my home and my social networking is limited for the next 3-4 months, so I can say I have been working on it since the summer - since people will not have seen me in quite a few months, they'll think I'll have been working on it longer than I have.

Best of luck in your decision!

I'm one dr visit away from sending it in for approval, but I've told a few people that I will probably be having surgery in November for a hiatal hernia repair because the reflux from it is causing so much damage to my esophagus (true story). My immediate family and best friend know the truth, but I used this with a coworker who feeds info to my boss (my boss is nosy and would be PISSED if my elective surgery interfered with her holiday vacation plans) and with another committee member for a food pantry I'm involved with (she can't count on me to direct the Boy Scout food drive in November). Other than that, everybody else can just think I fell off the map for a week because I didn't feel well.

The second part of my question is - what lie will fit our scenario the best? (2 night hospital stay, small laparoscopic scars, a week off if work, etc)

I have only told my close coworkers, my closest gf's, and my mom and in-laws. Made her swear she wouldn't tell any of my family. I been made fun of my family my entire life. Why give them a leverage up to make other jokes.

Not to many people in my family know I have had my gallbladder taken out already, so my mom is using that as an excuse to come be with me the day of surgery.

People shouldn't be asking about my personal medical procedures, so I shouldn't have to "lie" about anything. I didn't tell anyone, aside from husband, and 10+ months later it's still that way. It's no one's business. I think the real issue here is that we are considered the "liars" for not divulging our surgical plans, while the person who asks us about them is not scrutinized in the least. It's so not an appropriate thing to ask! They are the ones out of line, not us!

I also want to address a common statement I see on posts like these. Those who feel comfortable telling everyone, say they do it because they're not ashamed. I don't share because I'm ashamed. I'm just a private person.

I had my surgery about 5 weeks ago...I told my 3 best friends and no one else. I had vacation from work for a week and I felt it was no one's business what I did during that time. I've been to a few dinners since then and I can't eat a lot, so I've just said that I've had a bit of a stomach bug and I'm being careful. I also had antibiotics for a tooth infection, so I used that as a reason why my stomach may not be cooperative. If anyone ever sees my scars I plan to say I had gallbladder surgery. In reality, those scars and our scars are on opposite sides of the stomach, but 99% of people won't know that. Also, my scars are starting to fade, so I tend to doubt I will ever have to explain it. I haven't had the need to lie yet because it's no one's business why I was out of work for a week. Your health is your business, so what you do or do not decide to do, is up to you.

There have been many threads on this subject since I've been here at VST. If someone asks me if I had weight loss surgery or how I'm losing weight my reply will be " my weight loss struggles are a private matter." I got this from a member here (don't remember your screen name, sorry).

That is my final answer. I have only told my HR rep and my boss about my plans for surgery.

??

Edited October 16, 201312 yr by JKG

Nope and I could care less what others think. That being said n one has said anything negative to me.

I agree with indecision. I won't lie about it, nor do I care what other people think. I'm proud of myself for making this decision and all the trials and tribulations that go with it. I work with quite a few people that should consider WLS but for whatever reason they choose not to. They have been, for the most part, a great support network. There are a few nay-sayers but oh well, that's their opinion. Good luck on whatever you decide to do.