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BOY DID I FEEL STUPID



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I just wanted to share a little story with you all about binging and purging. I always knew that I was an emotional eater. Anytime I would get upset, I would eat. Well, recently, I got upset over something.. now realizing it was stupid, but, the first thing that came to my mind was to eat to feel better. Ok, no problem, I needed some food anyway. Well, I go into Subway and order the 6 inch sandwich that I used order pre-plication. All the while in line, Im thinking of the situation that has me so upset. Im also thinking, once I bite into this sandwhich I will feel soo much better. Yess, All I need is to eat. Well, like I said, I order the same huge 6 inch like I used to order like back in the day. I sat down, didnt count my chews, had the nerve to eat the sandwhich and drink the raspberry tea at the same time. Oh, I was getting down like in the old days, just actin a fool! Well, 4 bites in, I am hit with such a stomach pain! THen, I have to run outside and toss up. I hate tossing Cookies and I havent had to since month 2 post op. I felt gross and mostly STUPID! How could I have forgotten that my poor stomach is totally in control? So, instantly, I realized, I cant eat for emotional comfort anymore! It is incredible how the mind and body works. Even more incredible when you can get them to work together.

Anyone here tried binging since surgery?

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Oh yes! Old habits are hard to break. I almost wished I COULD have hurled!! Just sitting there hurting for a half hour or more until the pain went away was not a lot of fun either! I still catch myself putting the old serving size on my plate without thinking and then trying to finish it all because of my old behaviour of never wanting to waste any food, especially GOOD food!

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Not binged or been sick since my surgery (I'm 9 months out).

What's being sick like? Is it any different to before? I've really been wondering about that one as I guess it'll happen one day and it'd be good to be forewarned what to expect.

I was told that if I vomited in the first 3 weeks that could rip all the stitches apart so I've been afraid and therefore very cautious ever since.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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