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I have not had surgery yet...I actually just had my first consultation this morning. I'm just wondering if everyone who has had(or will have) gastric bypass has told their friends and family? And do you regret the decision you made about telling or not telling? Has anyone you've told been unsupportive?

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I have not had surgery yet...I actually just had my first consultation this morning. I'm just wondering if everyone who has had(or will have) gastric bypass has told their friends and family? And do you regret the decision you made about telling or not telling? Has anyone you've told been unsupportive?

I was told I needed a support system both at home and at work. So I told my husband and daughters at home. I told my manager and supervisor and one coworker at work. I told no one else.

My daughter accidentally spilled the Beans to my mother in law, who has a gift for appearing to be supportive while slapping you down at the same time. If you call her on it she somehow comes off looking innocent and you look mean and vindictive.

A busybody at work somehow found out what type of surgery I had while I was out and proceeded to blab to anyone with ears. I caught her telling people, gave her a piece of my mind, reported her to my manager, and filed a complaint with HR for invasion of privacy. But now everyone knows. Most people at work are discreet and respectful. I mainly didn't want the bigmouth to know because she is a terrible gossip - what she doesn't know, she makes up. She is the only downside to my job.

So now it's no secret but it is what it is. I just wanted to avoid negative comments about something that is very personal and nobody's business but my own.

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I have been open about having surgery with family, friends and coworkers.....If they ask. I told my immedate family (My sister is 2 1/2 years out from surgery). I told my boss and a couple of people before surgery....but now I've lost so much they are all asking how...and they are noticing me more. I dont mind them knowing.... I am happy to share. Just didnt want the negative people to bring me down preop.

Good luck!!

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I only told people i completely trust not to blab it to the whole world. I don't need negative vibes from people who may not be supportive. You take a chance if you want to keep it a secret and tell a few people. My mom, my husband and my girls are the only people I feel needed to know. I don't work outside the home so it's easier for me to keep it a secret.

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I wanted to keep the whole surgery a secret and I did till the final 3months. Then I only told the people who are important to me. Of course some of them went on and told other people and those people had to state their opinion. But in the end I'm glad I told my close friends and family because everyone was supportive, even the people who disagreed with me getting the surgery. I say tell the people who u trust. Because you are going to need the support and the people. This decision is about u. so whatever u decide I wish u luck and keep us posted :)

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I tell everyone, the support has been amazing, no regrets! It's getting a little like being pregnant though!! Lots of people randomly touching me, lifting my sleeves to see if my arms are saggy: it's like my personal space is non-existent sometimes!!!!

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Oi told immediate friends and family only.

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I told my immediate family and a few friends. My mother told the rest of my extended family and the friends I told proceeded to tell the rest of my friends. So almost everybody knows now. It's not such a big deal. Almost everyone is supportive and those who aren't, don't understand it so I've been educating them.

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    • Doughgurl

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      · 2 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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