Hubby admits he doesn't want me to have the surgery :-(

[MissNikki27 54]

So my hubby and I were having a debate about him not being supportive of my weight loss efforts. I know that I'm responsible for my own diet and workout routine but it would nice if he would just be more motivating. So he then proceeded to tell me that the reason he isn't supportive is because he doesn't want me to have the surgery. He told me that I didn't consider his point of view when I made this decision and then he is also concerned about the health risks and the excess skin issue. I understand him but a the same time, he doesn't have to live in my body and losing weight on my own is extremely hard....I have been trying to lose weight for the last 10 years with little success. I would rather have excess skin then develop health problems.

Have any of you had this same issue with your spouse or someone close to you? How did you convince them that this is the right decision for you?

[npalmer28 7]

I haven't had that issue but sometimes I feel like my husband is jealous. He asks for reassurance that I'm not gonna start being wild and leave him. He constantly telling me of others experience and how there relationships failed because their spouse had weight loss surgery.

As far as your excess skin goes, your current size, race and age places a factor. There is no guarantee that you're gonna have a lot of excess skin.

That's the number one thing people say to me. My surgeon has told me I will have very little if any excess skin. So that what I tell them. Unless they are a doctor or have to walk in my unhealthy shoes, I tell them to keep their comments to themselves.

[renjames 30]

Hi I would let him read the good positive post her to help him settle. His concern is for you. He. Obviously loves you and don't want to lose you. If you wish him to talk to me as I've had the sleeve gastrectomy and then onto the bypass I'm happy to help. I'm I'm a guy and sometimes a guys perspective will help.

[lilmommawolfe 17]

I don't know if they have them in your area, but if they have support groups see if he would attend one with you. Also if it's the surgery and health risk of that that he is concerned with, remind him that 1) with any surgery there are risks, and 2) with out the surgery you could be at risk for even more health risks and needing an even riskier surgery to take care of that.... I hope you make your decision for you, and this helps

[ajustice 484]

So my hubby and I were having a debate about him not being supportive of my weight loss efforts. I know that I'm responsible for my own diet and workout routine but it would nice if he would just be more motivating. So he then proceeded to tell me that the reason he isn't supportive is because he doesn't want me to have the surgery. He told me that I didn't consider his point of view when I made this decision and then he is also concerned about the health risks and the excess skin issue. I understand him but a the same time' date=' he doesn't have to live in my body and losing weight on my own is extremely hard....I have been trying to lose weight for the last 10 years with little success. I would rather have excess skin then develop health problems.

Have any of you had this same issue with your spouse or someone close to you? How did you convince them that this is the right decision for you?[/quote']

So sorry girlie it took over a year for me to get my surgery settled on. My hubby was totally against it but we also hit a rocky part in my marriage where he let a few things slip about my weight and my attraction..it nearly did us in. Finally I really was getting so down and depressed about my weight he agreed that if it would make me happy he would support me 100% but I know the things he said to me made him worry..he was a jackass! He has mentioned that he gets afraid I won't need him or be with him once I'm thin. I've assured him I obviously didn't give up easy or I would have left his ass a long time ago. It changes the dynamics alot but overall if you have a good relationship and can reassure him it helps a bit. I also told my husband it's not about him. This was for me and only me and he needed to stop. He know I was set on it so he had better jump on board cause the train was gonna keep on moving..and my determination wasn't gonna waiver. Hope y'all get to a happy middle ground. It's hard feeling u don't have support. Overall I've had my hubby and a few friends. U have us here and that helps..it doesn't make it easier living at home with someone who isn't on the track with u tho. Hope he supports u tho and can get beyond his own reservations to accept AND support your choices to make a healthier and happier u! Good luck hon!

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Have any of you had this same issue with your spouse or someone close to you? My hubby wasn't in agreement or disagreement. He is the type of guy that says to me your going to do whatever you want regardless of what I say,and it's very true. I told him I was having surgery,and it was like whatever.

How did you convince them that this is the right decision for you? I didn't convince him or anything. I said I was having this surgery,and that was it.

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

I haven't had that issue but sometimes I feel like my husband is jealous. He asks for reassurance that I'm not gonna start being wild and leave him. My hubby is this cuca only mine? Can I have sex every time I ask? Are you gonna leave me for a younger man?

[MissNikki27 54]

Thanks for all your feedback. I think my hubby's concerns are more about his lack of knowledge and apprehension about me changing. I realize that I'm going to change but I don't plan on leaving just because I've lost weight.

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Thanks for all your feedback. I think my hubby's concerns are more about his lack of knowledge and apprehension about me changing. I realize that I'm going to change but I don't plan on leaving just because I've lost weight.

He gonna tight you to the bed

[iamworthit 208]

Thanks for all your feedback. I think my hubby's concerns are more about his lack of knowledge and apprehension about me changing. I realize that I'm going to change but I don't plan on leaving just because I've lost weight.

My husband did the same thing initially but I brought him to an appointment with me and once he heard the facts from the doctor (and not his wife with two master degrees in healthcare) he got on board. I teased him afterward and told him I think I speak at a frequency he can't hear sometimes. Lol

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

My husband did the same thing initially but I brought him to an appointment with me and once he heard the facts from the doctor (and not his wife with two master degrees in healthcare) he got on board. I teased him afterward and told him I think I speak at a frequency he can't hear sometimes. Lol

Lmbo men!!!

[terry1118 1,274]

My husband was behind me, but very reluctantly. He was concerned that I could die. I brought him to several appointments and he felt better about it after being more informed. He was still worried right up to the surgery, during the surgery, and after the surgery. He didn't start feeling better until my one week post op appt and my surgeon said how well I was doing.

[iamworthit 208]

My husband was behind me' date=' but very reluctantly. He was concerned that I could die. I brought him to several appointments and he felt better about it after being more informed. He was still worried right up to the surgery, during the surgery, and after the surgery. He didn't start feeling better until my one week post op appt and my surgeon said how well I was doing.[/quote']

That's exactly how mine is. He just worries about everything so this doesn't help.

[terry1118 1,274]

That's exactly how mine is. He just worries about everything so this doesn't help.

Some people are worriers. Have him watch YouTube. It has a lot of rny stories that are pretty inspiring. I used to watch them endlessly... they helped me to decide. There are even a few with bad experiences, but those are usually the result of poor decisions and choices following surgery. Some even have complications and were educational for those possibilities. Of those no one regretted their decision.

My husband told me one night that he didn't want a dead wife. I told him that without the surgery, that is exactly what he would get eventually. And I would be miserable until then.

[iamworthit 208]

We had a very similar conversation. If I don't do something we both know where that leads. In my mind and now his ( thank God) trying is better than not trying. At 217 lbs 5'2" I am on the track to diabetes, heart disease, sleep apnea etc. Tomorrow morning is my surgery and by this time tomorrow night ill be on my way to recovery.