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No more kids

khalilmom90

By khalilmom90, in The Gals' Room

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music1618    879

music1618
Posted

How we should have kids. When I say I don't really like kids they try to convince me that it is different when it is your own kids. They say this as their child is running around wild and screaming.

My husband and I made the decision not to bring a child into this world. We have several reasons. I have a rheumatoid arthritis and it has been passed down through the generations. Each time getting stronger. I do not want two things to happen. 1. They get this disease 2. I have to tell my child I can't play with you or help with homework or spend quality time with you because I hurt and feel so bad.

The last reason is that hubby and I did not agree on how to raise the kids. He would be stricter than I thought he should and I would be too relaxed for him. Not fair for the child when parents are arguing over punishment.

I realized years ago that I was actually the smart one of the baby conversation. I did what people really should do before bringing a life into this world. Think about what is right for everyone involved - including the baby which has NO say in it. It should NEVER be done because society or friends think you should. They do not pay the bills and they will not be caring for that child during the good and bad times.

My parents always knew they would only have 1 child. Heck my dad jokes with me and says the only reason they had me was the prove they could.

Do what is right for you and your family!!!!

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khalilmom90    12

khalilmom90
Posted

How we should have kids. When I say I don't really like kids they try to convince me that it is different when it is your own kids. They say this as their child is running around wild and screaming.

My husband and I made the decision not to bring a child into this world. We have several reasons. I have a rheumatoid arthritis and it has been passed down through the generations. Each time getting stronger. I do not want two things to happen. 1. They get this disease 2. I have to tell my child I can't play with you or help with homework or spend quality time with you because I hurt and feel so bad.

The last reason is that hubby and I did not agree on how to raise the kids. He would be stricter than I thought he should and I would be too relaxed for him. Not fair for the child when parents are arguing over punishment.

I realized years ago that I was actually the smart one of the baby conversation. I did what people really should do before bringing a life into this world. Think about what is right for everyone involved - including the baby which has NO say in it. It should NEVER be done because society or friends think you should. They do not pay the bills and they will not be caring for that child during the good and bad times.

My parents always knew they would only have 1 child. Heck my dad jokes with me and says the only reason they had me was the prove they could.

Do what is right for you and your family!!!!

I understand completely what your saying I think I would have made that same decision if I had RA but I'm pretty sure my decision is just my son when I say he is wild that's exactly what I mean that boy crazy and on top of it I haven't had a good night sleep since two days before he was born he will be 3 this year

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music1618    879

music1618
Posted

Well who says the decision has to be made ASAP. Wait a few years and if the time is ever right you will know it.

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JustJenn    542

JustJenn
Posted

I also have ONE child and she's 3.5 years old. We made the decision she would be an only child. There are times people's comments make me feel like the worst mother for her not having a sibling, but she doesn't have to share mom and dad, she lives well, and we are grateful to be able to vacation and have other luxuries. Not to say having another would hinder that. BUT.... We made that choice. We make sure our one is well grounded, well mannered, and a great little citizen. Don't feel bad.

Surgery date 7/25/12

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khalilmom90    12

khalilmom90
Posted

I also have ONE child and she's 3.5 years old. We made the decision she would be an only child. There are times people's comments make me feel like the worst mother for her not having a sibling' date=' but she doesn't have to share mom and dad, she lives well, and we are grateful to be able to vacation and have other luxuries. Not to say having another would hinder that. BUT.... We made that choice. We make sure our one is well grounded, well mannered, and a great little citizen. Don't feel bad.

Surgery date 7/25/12[/quote']

Thanks justjenn

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pookybear    284

pookybear
Posted

My bf and I have made the decision that we don't want kids. There's still a small part of me that wants kids, but mostly we enjoy having our freedom, and we see friends that have kids and how their lives ended up and just don't want to be like that. I do feel kinda guilty sometimes that my parents won't get to have grand kids.

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khalilmom90    12

khalilmom90
Posted

My bf and I have made the decision that we don't want kids. There's still a small part of me that wants kids' date=' but mostly we enjoy having our freedom, and we see friends that have kids and how their lives ended up and just don't want to be like that. I do feel kinda guilty sometimes that my parents won't get to have grand kids.[/quote']

Lol awww its ok

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saramichelle    127

saramichelle
Posted

I believe no matter what you choose somebody is going to have something to say about it:). My last pregnancy ( my 3rd) I was told I was having too many kids by more than one person. Can't please them all!

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khalilmom90    12

khalilmom90
Posted

I believe no matter what you choose somebody is going to have something to say about it:). My last pregnancy ( my 3rd) I was told I was having too many kids by more than one person. Can't please them all!

Lol I definitely feel you on that people just need to mind there business or not be so judgemental

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JustJenn    542

JustJenn
Posted

I believe no matter what you choose somebody is going to have something to say about it:). My last pregnancy ( my 3rd) I was told I was having too many kids by more than one person. Can't please them all!

You're absolutely right! Everyone has something to say about everything. We just have to trust in what we are doing and please ourselves!

Surgery date 7/25/12

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khalilmom90    12

khalilmom90
Posted

You're absolutely right! Everyone has something to say about everything. We just have to trust in what we are doing and please ourselves!

Surgery date 7/25/12

Thanks alot Jenn

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    • Alisa_S

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

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