having second thoughts

cjschultz · February 15, 2007

I am having my surgery on Monday and I can not help but have second thoughts about it. I almost feel like maybe I did not try hard enough to lose it on my own. I don't know if it is just nerves from having to go through the surgery or maybe that is how I really feel. I am only 25 years old but I weight 300 lbs. I really need to do something about my wieght but I cant help but wonder maybe one more try the old fashioned way. I look at all the pictures and read all of your stories and it gets me really excited but then later when I am alone my mind starts to race. My family is really supportive so I am very lucky but I still feel unsure. I just dont want to make a mistake.

Any words of wisdom would help me

Iluvharleys · February 15, 2007

It's only normal to have second thoughts, but if you aren't sure, then you need to take some time to think about it more.

I can only tell you that I wish I had the option to have the surgery when I was young and could enjoy my life normally. It is tough when you are overweight when you are young.

Good luck in whatever decision you make!

Jachut · February 16, 2007

Try not to listen to them :-) . Really. Its very natural to have second thoughts but its really misplaced self judgement that causes them, not anything real. If you were having your gall bladder removed or an angioplasty or repair to a broken bone, you wouldnt be having second thoughts becuase it wouldnt be your fault right? Well its not you're fault you're having this surgery either.

As far as surgical procedures go, this is a very safe, short and uncomplicated one in 99.9% of cases.

It really really helped me to think of my weight problem as something broken, and that I would not hestiate to have surgery to fix my stupid troublesome ankle, nor did I even think about a planned caesarean for my third baby (and there were two lives at stake there!). Its really no different. Something is broken and you're fixing it.

Its time to stop the self recrimination and just get on with the job of what you need to do to get better. And your surgery is the very first step in that process. Dont worry, there's plenty of hard work to follow, you'll feel like youve done it yourself, that's for sure. In six months time you'll be feeling pride in your achievements. This is a beginning, not some terrible ending that you've come to.

marjon9 · February 16, 2007

From reading this forum I get the impression that 90% of the people here had the exact same feelings you are describing. And then after the surgery, if you do it, you'll undoubtedly go through a few days thinking "Oh, no, what have I done to myself?!?" All of that is very normal. But the fact is almost everyone is eventually glad they did it. And as for making a mistake, remember, the band is reversible. If for some reason it does not work for you, you can take it out. The risk of any serious medical complications from the surgery is very small.

The decision is yours. At your age especially there is no hurry. If you need more time take it. There is no need to rush into things if you are not ready.

But I can tell you this. If you postpone your surgery, you will almost certainly have these exact same feelings again the next time you are 4 days from having your surgery. It just goes with the territory.

cj, ask yourself, are you going to lose 137 pounds with diet and exercise?

marys · February 16, 2007

i agree with everyone else - i had major second thoughts, cancelled the surgery two days prior and ended up talking (and crying - ugh) to the sugeon about my fears - needless to say, he allievated all of them (most) and had me actually smiling by the end of the call. He told me if i came down and decided to not go through with it up to the last second that was fine but it is very common to be scared etc.

And, for weeks and maybe longer, on and off i felt like what the heck have I done but that all passed (mostly - ha) too!

As long as you have done all your research, and feel comfortable with your doc - try to relax and know you are not alone in these feelings.

I also wish I had tackled this problem MUCH younger - You may be able to tackle it 'on your own' but I've learned from banding just how entrenched bad eating behaviors are and they take a lot to change.

juliegeraci · February 16, 2007

Obesity is an uncurable disease. Diets don't work. I tried everything up until surgery and had lost 40 lbs on my own just cutting out carbs, alcohol and sugars. Don't be too hard on yourself. The band is a great way to lose weight and keep it off. I say go for it! You will not regret it for 1 minute. Good luck.

cjschultz · February 16, 2007

Thank you all so much for your words of wisdom. I know that this will probably be the only way that I lose the weight I just am a little nervous about the surgery part. I think that is what is fueling my thoughts. My husband has pretty much said the same things as you all but it is really good to hear from others too. I am just going to try and ignore my fear of this and move forward. Thank you all again this is the best website and you all have answer so many of my questions. It is just great to read all about your stories.

MCOBandita · February 16, 2007

its really misplaced self judgement that causes them, not anything real...This is a beginning, not some terrible ending that you've come to.

Wow, Jacqui! What you said just really hit the nail on the head with me. I thought I had dealt with my reservations, but reading your comments made me realize that I still had those exact feelings/thoughts floating around in the back of my mind. :wow2:

You made me feel so much better. Thanks for your post!

demsvmejm · February 16, 2007

MCO

I see your surgery is next Tuesday....GOOD LUCK YOU'LL DO GREAT.

I'm still trying to get up the courage to call my surgeon and see if I'm medically cleared for the procedure since all my testa are finished...Maybe I'll call right now.

MCOBandita · February 16, 2007

MCO
I see your surgery is next Tuesday....GOOD LUCK YOU'LL DO GREAT.

I'm still trying to get up the courage to call my surgeon and see if I'm medically cleared for the procedure since all my testa are finished...Maybe I'll call right now.

Mary, go ahead and call them, why postpone your health and happiness any longer? You can do it! :hug:

ousooner · February 16, 2007

As everyone else has stated. Your feeling are natural. Ironically, if you read any thread about regrets, the large majority say that the only regret they have about getting lap-band is that they didn't get it done sooner. I am in that boat. I wish I hadn't missed out on my youth because of my weight. I can never get that time back. Go for it

cjschultz · February 16, 2007

ousooner

Thanks for your post. Congrats on your loss. That is great only one pound to go. I am going to have is done. I really want to be there for my children. My son is already eating the wrong foods so I am think after I have my surgery we can all eat much healthier. I am excited to be able to play with my children on a physical level. I know that this is the right decision. I am lucky enough to do it while I am young and healthy ( other than my weight ). I hope that I have a success story to tell someone in my position someday. Thank you all for your posts they have helped a lot.

waterlily1072 · February 16, 2007

I started considering surgery almost 10 yrs ago when rny was the only option here in the states. It terrified me as to all the possible complications. But I always new that wls was there if I got desperate. I was 300lbs at 25 as well, I know exactly where you are. I'd love to have those 10yrs back of my life to be able to really live and not be a slave to my obesity and all the emothional and social and physical issues it creates. Only 2% of obese people ever lose all their weight and keep it off! That is a huge deal. The choice is of course yours, but think of why you decided to do it in the first place. Your fears are normal, but don't let fear stop you from living your life.

cjschultz · February 25, 2007

I went through with the surgery and I feel really good. I am almost a week out and only have a little burning in the port area. My surgery went very well and so far I do not regret it one bit. Thank you all for your support.

marjon9 · February 25, 2007

I went through with the surgery and I feel really good. I am almost a week out and only have a little burning in the port area. My surgery went very well and so far I do not regret it one bit. Thank you all for your support.

Congratulations!! :clap2: :clap2: :clap2:

I really think you did the right thing. For the next month or so you still need to focus on healing so take it easy on yourself and don't expect huge weight loss right now. Soon enough you'll be healed up and on with your bandster journey.

Good job!