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Emotions and Weight



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So before being banded I knew I had some emotional problems that were contributing to my being overweight, but often I assumed it was my weight that was causing me to be so down alot of the time. LAtely however, It's like my feelings are so much intensified. Especially the negative ones. I am really discovering for the first time that every time life got too real, or emotions got to be too intense, I would dull them with food; Fattening food and lots of it.

food has lost its ability to do that now. I can't eat nearly the amounts prior to banding and I even when I do have a bit of the really bad-for-you foods, it doesn't have the same appeal anymore. The habit is still there but since the pleasure level of giving in isn't, I just end up staring at the fridge feeling more discouraged than ever.

Anyway I guess I am having a bit of a hard time lately. Anyone else with a similar problem? Suggestions, comments, ideas, or just share what you are going through? Thanks all!

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I think its the biggest lesson to learn. Thin people arent thin because they have no problems, they just handle them in a different way. Sooner or later you'll work something out, I'm sure. Till then, I guess its a pretty steep learning curve, hope you feel a bit brighter in the next day or two.

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It's going to be a challenge for all of us. My nutritionist/ therapist said that she thought this was going to be the most difficult challenge for me because I am such an emotional eater.

She suggested I find an alternative to eating when dealing with stress or anxiety. I'm a huge music fan, so she suggested I take some time alone and blast my ipod. I may lose my hearing...LOL! but I'm not eating!!!

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mypov and fellow Bandsters:

I'm working on a theory similar to the Law of conservation of energy; the proposition by Einstein that Matter and Energy are but different forms of the same thing, and that one converts to the other.

My notion is, that in SOME of us, emotions and eating behavior reflect each other; that stored fat is stored emotions that were never adequately expressed; and that we as Bandsters are finally in a position to recognize that social gatherings are NOT about US eating!!!

I am close to posting this very theory here on LBT in a form derived from Einstein's own formula...

rather than "E=1/2 mc^2" where Energy is equal to 1/2 the mass times the speed of light [squared],

for Bandsters I will be presenting our OWN formula SOON....

so yes, eating and how we feel IS related....

only for me, that feeling of depression is not FROM eating, it is what make OVEREATING so easy!

And that by undertaking to deal with my own depressive thoughts I can control them by actions of voluntary behavior, which raises me out of that depression...

I found that 'being overweight' was what was leading me into those feelings of depression and inability to control myself except to eat. Now I can do OTHER things than eat....

Such a tiny difference....such a big answer....stay tuned for a little elaboration on this....

I just have to explain, choosing NOT to overeat is making a HUGE difference in how I feel....does that make sense???

Jack for President.

A banded friend of mine developed stress in her upper back and headaches as compensation for her inability to overeat. Yes, we must find new vices now. I am working on mine.

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I have been on depression medicine for at least 15 years. I have anxiety. Have you thought about going to a head doctor? I don't see mine except for every 6 months.

I remember I would be cooking dinner and would not have an ingredient. Well I would beat myself up for it . I would get SO UPSET. I would tell myself I was stupid, couldn't do anything right.....

Now I stop and go get the missing ingredient from the grocery and enjoy my dinner.

Just a suggestion,

edie

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Jack is definitely on to something...

If you don't have your "drug of choice" or food in our case, then you must find another outlet for the feelings. One obvious choice is to examine those feelings...what are they? Why? Is there some action you can take to change those feelings into something that does not cause stress?

Stress. We all have it. I like to play some silly computer games to relieve stress. I have a couple of hobbies I enjoy. I stepped these up when eating had to take a back seat in my stress-reliever hall of fame. Try to find a way to relieve inevitable stress...bubble bath? Walk? Read? There are so many possibilities.

It's time to do the head work that is so necessary...(((hugs))). It's not pretty, but there it is. The (((hugs))) are there because it's just darn hard, isn't it? But, you can do this! People have posted some good ideas, and I hope at least one of them seems like a good idea to start you out on this next part of your journey!

Cindy

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Its hard for some of us to recognize the emotional eating, or at least the degree of- you are recognizing more now which is good, it means at least you can do something about it. We don't break habits, we replace one with another- sounds like you are in the limbo, can't use food but have not figured out what to do instead. Each of us are different, some wll use excercise, relaxation stuff any kind of distraction and if it is having a big impact on you talking things through wth a therapist can really help- sometimes we need someone to help us reframe the way we think- nothing really changes except the way we think about the same situation. I have used a therapist to deal with some past issues and has taught me some great new coping skills, to recognize my strengths rather than focus on my weaknesses

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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