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Sadly, I lost a friend today. She didn't die, but our friendship did. I received a text from her a little while ago informing me that our friendship brought her too much sadness.

Now I will attest to the fact that I have been difficult to plan outings with in recent months. I have tried hard to be a good friend. This is the second friend to drop me post RNY. It's only been four months. Am I going to lose more? Have you guys experienced this? Wow, what a crappy day.

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Wow thats just awful and with due respect there not genuine friends.

With this weight loss and the new life your gonna get you will find new friends. Good luck with the new life

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Wow, Hate to hear this. I am hoping to make friends not lose any. Most of my "friends" are family. I think they are stuck with me.

But I do think my poor health over the years has caused me to stay away from people and events and you do lose contact with a lot of people. I want that to change,

I want to go to the things I am invited to (provided I want to, don't want to feel I HAVE to) I want to make new friends.

I am hoping the same for you,

I wish you the best and hope your life is filled with joy.

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Sadly, I have lost a few. And those did a pretty good job of ripping my heart out as well. But-let's face it. We drastically change, and I do mean drastically. Friends are often based on similar interests, regardless what they might've been. We change. It's not surprising that some relationships do as well.

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I have lost a few. I am more active now and I think they liked having the fat grumpy friend around that was always ready to bitch and complain with and Im just not that way anymore. But am happier now then with all that weight...which includes my not so true friends.

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If people are not going to love you for who you are and what you are going through then maybe it's time for them to move on. You deserve to be loved by friends unconditionally in your life no matter the circumstances. There are times and seasons for friends. But the good ones will live you forever and that's who you need to surround your self with. I say there loss. I'm sorry you have so much hurt. Focus and you and being the best you can. That's what matters most right now.

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I haven't lost! I have my limited friends & they are thin. Very supported but I'm the only housewife so we don't have that big bond to have cafe or go out.

I'm sorry you lost your friend. Everything in life isn't eating out & having drinks. A friend should be there in good times & bad times.

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I have lost my boyfriend before surgery and also sadly a few family members that didn't support my surgery . I took it very bad at first BUT I do have another circle of friends that are great supporters and have help me get true this. All I could say is don't worry about the friends that you lost if they where real friends they would have been there for you. If they don't support you that mean that they don't deserve your friendship.

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I lost a friend. At least she used to be....when I was no longer her fat friend that made her feel thin, she began to show her true colors....I decided that I didn't need people in my life who couldn't support me on the basis that I was their token fat friend! My true friends have always supported me through "thick" & "thin"!!

my superpower is......

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I have lost my boyfriend before surgery and also sadly a few family members that didn't support my surgery . I took it very bad at first BUT I do have another circle of friends that are great supporters and have help me get true this. All I could say is don't worry about the friends that you lost if they where real friends they would have been there for you. If they don't support you that mean that they don't deserve your friendship.

Agree

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I lost a friend. At least she used to be....when I was no longer her fat friend that made her feel thin' date=' she began to show her true colors....I decided that I didn't need people in my life who couldn't support me on the basis that I was their token fat friend! My true friends have always supported me through "thick" & "thin"!!

my superpower is......[/quote']

Was your ex friend thin?

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Was your ex friend thin?

Yes. Apparently, I became some kind of threat after surgery!

my superpower is......

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Sadly' date=' I lost a friend today. She didn't die, but our friendship did. I received a text from her a little while ago informing me that our friendship brought her too much sadness.

Now I will attest to the fact that I have been difficult to plan outings with in recent months. I have tried hard to be a good friend. This is the second friend to drop me post RNY. It's only been four months. Am I going to lose more? Have you guys experienced this? Wow, what a crappy day.[/quote']

Your true friends will begin to shine through and the others are most likely jealous or cant get with the non food outings. Many overweight friends may feel judged like you dont like being big, so if they are big you mudt not like them. The new you will have true friends .

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I can live wit not being the fat friend. And to hell with the people that want to keep you that way. What a bunch of shallow minded people that inhabit this world. Could we all go back to caring about one another. Uninformed people make me sad

Surgery Anniversary 7/30/12

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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