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Hi! My husband has been approved and is scheduled for surgery this month. I'm thrilled for him because I know this is something he wants. I've read through some other postings about people who have not-so-supportive spouses. Is there anyone out there who can tell me what this is like from a "would-do-anything for my spouse" person? Some times a spouse can be more ojective than the patient themselves.

Thank you!

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Remember that this is HIS program and he needs to work it. My best advice is just be there for him. This takes some adjusting and you will have to adapt as well. Some meals he may not be able to eat and you need to just go with it. If you are the one making the meals you will need to learn what he can and can't eat. This is pretty much a trial and error type of exercise and changes with each fill.

My DH is very supportive and also does all the cooking. He tries real hard to prepare what I can eat, while enjoying his own meals the way he wants.

Hope all goes well for him. It's nice to hear from a supportive spouse. I love my band and it was the best thing I did for me.

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Mine went with me to the seminar..... but other than that he has no clue. For instance last night at the grocery, I was looking at the carb counts on various items, and he huffed and puffed and said.. "I thought we didn't have to worry about that anymore???"

Also.... Don't be the food police.

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Well some things that im going to be doing with my fiance when she gets the band, is im going to be right there beside her. all the dieting, all the exercise, everything. Though im not getting the band, i do believe that i should be supportive in that kind of way. I dont want to be eating junky food while she eats fruits and lo-carb items. And i dont want to sit around the house while she's out taking walks and going to the Gym.. No siree. I believe that this can be a really big bonding experience for us. something for use to grow together with. Kind of like those commercials where you see the old couple running together and laughing, kind of like that i guess.

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I don't want to answer the wrong question, so forgive but are you looking for the perspectives of SUPPORTIVE bandsters who have UNSUPPORTIVE spouses? Or the perspective of UNSUPPORTIVE spouses who have banded SOs? Or something else? :help:

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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