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Being Faithful



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Something that has been bugging me. I notice a lot of people who go through a major change either worry about their partner being faithful, or have a partner worrying about their faith. I think it shows a strong person who can have people hitting on them, and instead of causing real pain and heartbreak either in a marriage or partnership, remain faithful. It is not fair to go from being overweight and insecure holding your spouse and saying you love them, only to become thin and confident and instead of returning the comfort your spouse once gave you, you cheat. Even if we are changing, and think ourselves capable of having any man we want, we should look the ones we have in our lives even if their fears keep them from giving up the support we need at the moment. If my boyfriend woke up one morning and every girl on earth wanted him and he knew it, I might not be so fast to pat him on the back and say "I'm proud of you!" Sure its tempting to test the new look and flirt, but the grass is not always greener. I know I'm going off on a tangent, but sometimes there is a real reason a spouse gets worried about the other cheating. If we give the comfort they need to make them understand we are not going anywhere, then we are doing our part. That does not give them the right to abuse or degrade by any means. But it seems that we have a great challenge ahead of us. It has just been on my mind is all. Thanks for reading.

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Your right! I hope every guy starts hitting on me since my hubby never tells me I'm beautiful sexy or dinner was great! It would be great to hear it from someone besides the group.

If I can tell my hubby he has a nice body why can't he tell me the same? Ok I'm fat now but my stomach is smaller. He is only worried about me getting a flat butt. Keeps telling me don't lose your butt.

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Well my marriage went downhill fast! I left my hubby today!

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk

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Well my marriage went downhill fast! I left my hubby today!

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Whatttttt no way summer. Im sooooo sorry to hear that.

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Well my marriage went downhill fast! I left my hubby today!

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vamp.... Ohhh no. R u ok? I'm all ears if you need it.

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Well my marriage went downhill fast! I left my hubby today!

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So sorry things couldn't work out but total understand ...... if u ever need anyone to talk to i am here for you.

Sent from my DROID RAZR using RNYTalk

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I'm sorry to hear that. It's so hard when all these changes take place with your body and you are struggling just to deal with that and finding a new sense of self. And a separation to top that. It's a painful pill to swallow. My husband and I separated five years ago. He left our five children and I to struggle on our own. I got back in contact with a friend I had known since I was twelve. He has been with us since. Vamp it's his loss really. Keep your chin up and be miss independent.

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Your right! I hope every guy starts hitting on me since my hubby never tells me I'm beautiful sexy or dinner was great! It would be great to hear it from someone besides the group.

If I can tell my hubby he has a nice body why can't he tell me the same? Ok I'm fat now but my stomach is smaller. He is only worried about me getting a flat butt. Keeps telling me don't lose your butt.

I have the same don't lose that ass told to me. Lol

I told him, when I was skinny I still had an ass. They lose sight of just how special a " you look beautiful " is to us. They think in their male heads, I'm with you aren't I ? I know that because when I ask the bf if he thinks I'm pretty still, that is what his reply is. We are a more complex creature than that full of self doubt at our best and down right cruel to ourselves at our worst. This is a change that shows us just how important to them we are. It leaves them feeling like a kitten belly up in front of a wolf. Our fat was security to them even if it was a subconscious feeling. You look great and soon enough you'll be getting hit on by guys so much you'll wish they would stop. I thought it would never get old, but last week I was driving and at a stop light some random guy yells out that I'm sexy as hell. After turning my head to see if he was talking to someone else, I turned red as a strawberry and said thanks. I hate when guys say stuff like that. It's good to know I'm not invisible don't get me wrong, but it makes me feel soooo uncomfortable. I guess it always will until I believe it.

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Well my marriage went downhill fast! I left my hubby today!

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We need to talk. I'll message you. I'm so sorry.

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Vamp. I hope you and your kids are doing as best as possible during this time.

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Well my marriage went downhill fast! I left my hubby today!

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk

Wow Vamp; hope you and the kids are OK. You need to do what's best for you and your children. Your and their happiness is key. Stay strong girl. If you need an ear, Im here.

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Yeah it was just a bad situation he is so insecure with himself he was takin it out on me, as far as to tell me I was messing around with a girl friend of mine and her husband, got pissed off because I went to the movies for a girls night and wore makeup.....yesterday was the breaking point when he pulled his shit cussing at me throwing things around the house and pulling a gun on me!

Thank god the kids were at my friends Staci's house!!

He keeps begging me to come back but I'm not! I'm done and over with him and ready to start a new life with new people.....and I can't thank Kevin (kwal79) enough for being there for me and Staci too she's allowing me to stay with her and her family until I can get on my feet!

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What a bad situation .... i am so happy to hear that u at least have a few people that are willing to help u out during this hard time.

Sent from my DROID RAZR using RNYTalk

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Kevin lives near you?

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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