Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Pastafarians UNITE!!! Worship his noodly appendage!



Recommended Posts

If you don't believe in the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, you will be damned!!!

Through his noodly appendage, ALL things are possible!

I am here to SPREAD THE WORD of his noodly goodness!

EXCERPT from the Church Website:

We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

...

You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

piratesarecool4.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh geez. I'm so glad you explained all that. I've been wondering for the longest time why your signature line had reference to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I knew it had something to do with religion but I couldn't find the reference to prove it.

Thank goodness that you have revealed the REAL TRUTH about how humans came into being. And you can prove it! That's the best part!

I hope you are still fortunate enough to find some unsuspecting souls to jump in and debate this subject with you, because you have so much proof!

This is gonna be fun to watch. I just hope that no one accuses you of attacking them through the use of freshly slung spaghetti sauce.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oops, I almost forgot--God Bless.

I say that because God likes it when I command him to bestow his blessings at my bidding.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Serious! Great observation. I wouldn't want to have to spend the time to take Sunta to task on her spelling! In some threads, that could develop into a person's life's work.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

T_O_M: That may be true, but that doesn't make it incorrect. Them guys at South Park is geniuses.
I didn't say it was incorrect, I just wanted credit given to the boys over at South Park.:D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As you know, South Park makes fun of many religions, and pastafarianism/Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is no exception. It's outrageous that anyone would even question the absolute truth of FSM, and to do so is blasphemy!!! Blasphemy I say!

I am here to spread the living WORD of FSM and to warn all who don't believe that they are on the WRONG PATH!!!

It's up to YOU to ACCEPT of REJECT FSM. Find out for yourself! Have you done you homework? Or are you simply dismissing FSM out of hand without doing your research???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Clueless_girl

      Losing my hair in clumps and still dealing with "stomach" issues from gallbladder removal surgery. On the positive side I'm doing better about meeting protein and water goals and taking my vitamins, so yay? 🤷‍♀️
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Mr.Kantos

      Just signed up. Feeling optimistic.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Frugal

      Welcome to Frugal Testing, where we are committed to revolutionizing the software testing landscape with our efficient and affordable solutions. As a pioneering company in this field, we understand the challenges faced by startups, small to medium-sized businesses and any organization working without budget constraints. Our mission is to deliver top-notch testing services that ensure the highest quality of software, all while keeping your costs in check.
      Frugal Testing offers a comprehensive suite of testing services tailored to meet diverse needs. Specializing in different types of testing including functional testing, automation testing, metaverse testing and D365 testing, we cover all bases to guarantee thorough software quality assurance. Our approach is not just about identifying bugs; it's about ensuring a seamless and superior user experience.
      Innovation is at the heart of what we do. By integrating the latest tools and technologies, many of which are cutting-edge open source solutions, we stay ahead in delivering efficient and effective testing services. This approach allows us to provide exceptional quality testing without the high costs typically associated with advanced testing methodologies.
      Understanding each client's unique needs is fundamental to our service delivery. At Frugal Testing, the focus is on creating customized testing strategies that align with specific business goals and budget requirements. This client-centric approach ensures that every testing solution is not only effective but also fully aligned with the client's objectives.
      Our team is our greatest asset. Composed of skilled professionals who are experts in the latest testing techniques and technologies, they bring dedication, expertise and a commitment to excellence in every project. This expertise ensures that our client’s software not only meets but often exceeds the highest standards of quality and performance.
      Frugal Testing is more than just a service provider; we are a partner in your success. With a blend of quality, innovation and cost-effectiveness, we are here to help you navigate the complexities of software testing, ensuring your product stands out in today's competitive market. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      I have no clue where to upload this, so I'll put it here. This is pre-op vs the morning of my 6 month appointment! In office I weight 232, that's 88 lbs down since my highest weight, 75 lbs since my surgery weight! I can't believe this jacket fit... I am smaller now than the last time I was this size which the surgeon found really amusing. He's happy with where I am in my weight loss and estimates I'll be around 200 lbs by my 1 year anniversary! My lowest weight as an adult is 195, so that's pretty damn exciting to think I'll be near that at a year. Everything from there will be unknown territory!!

      · 3 replies
      1. AmberFL

        You look amazing!!! 😻 you have been killing it!

      2. NickelChip

        Congratulations! You're making excellent progress and looking amazing!

      3. BabySpoons

        So proud of you Cat. Getting into those smaller size clothes is half the fun isn't it?. Keep up the good work!!!!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×