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Let's Help Each Other On Those Bad Days



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Hey everyone that is active so far on this website. I'd love to start a thread under the Surgery Support area so I started a thread. I thought it would be nice to help each other through those "bad" days. If we can't offer exact advice we can still support one another and offer friendship to get through the day.

I haven't had my surgery yet but, I have been through WLS before so will help anyway I can. Anyone else in?

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I'm definately in :P I struggled today with my diet...I haven't had any "snacking" or cravings at all since surgery. For whatever reason it hit me today...so I sauntered to the vending machine at work and gave in to my cravings...had 1/8 of a hershey bar with almonds and a tiny bag of Sour Cream and Cheddar chips...not good to know these are sliders with RNY like the Band...but I'm good with my cravings now. I just have to keep them at bay for another three or four months... :D

Holding my breath and hoping no one beats me up :blink: lol...

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Not going to beat you up but, did the sugar throw you off? You weren't afraid to have the dumping thing happen? If that's the amount you truly had then you did good stopping yourself so think positive. The next step is stopping it before it starts....

How about this...the next time you have a craving like that and want to give in...ask yourself...Am I physically hungry or is it my head? If it's your head then try to figure out what it is.....take in some more Water and think about it before you buy it. Now if you are truly hungry....and crave chocolate, how about making a bar out of your chocolate shake mix? I can bet we can come up with some recipes where you can do that :) I know folks used to do it all the time on medifast with the powdered stuff and I've tried a few and they were good. This way you won't be taking in the fat and sugar of regular chocolate?

Believe me, I'm no angel...hence why I'm opting for the surgery in the first place. I didn't get here eating salads. I KNOW a craving and how powerful they can be. But with a buddy.....it sure helps to get you thinking better :)

So.....were you truly physically hungry or mind hungry?

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I actually think I was hungry...3 pm (long after lunch and hungry hit me)...Thanks for the ideas :-) those are some good pointers. I've tried sugary food/drink in the past month and a half (Gatoraide, PB, chocolate Milk - another craving about a week ago) and I found that I do not dump. I think this is a blessing and a curse. My surgeon told me that I wouldn't...although his diet isn't as strict as some. He doesn't believe in complete sugar and fat free foods...says we need some in our diet for our digestive system to operate properly. So I try to watch what I eat, but every now and then do "splurge" on small portion of something carb/sugar. I also don't have Constipation (which most Rny patients have). I'm consistantly losing and don't have bad reactions to food...

Of course every doctor is different and everyone should follow his/her surgeon's instructions. My surgeon has been doing this for over 20 years and I trust his judgement...I've found in the past when I don't give into a small craving I ended up binge eating and falling completely off the wagon.

Thank you so much for your support...I'm looking forward to some yummy recipes!

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Hey FLJeep....how are you doing today?

So question for you...when you decided to have the surgery, did you share that info with folks or just you and youre immediate family?

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When I was banded - I told EVERYONE! I was so proud and excited. However, this time around only two people know about my revision. My husband and my best friend. Other family and my co-workers know I had surgeryk but think it was only to have my band removed. My band was such a failure for me (with complications and weight gain), I heard I told you so - so much. While I"m typically the kind of person that doesn't care what anyone thinks...for me this surgery is so personal I really didn't want to hear it or feel I had to defend myself. So, I decided to keep it to myself. One day I may decide to let the world know, but for now it is MY journey and not theirs...

What about you?

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Well, naturally my husband knows and I just told my mom (she lives 6.5-7 hours away from me but, she may come to stay with me after the surgery to help for a week) and 3 of my best friends know. I basically told them because they're going to have to cover for me at work and...they know I struggled with my band. I figured I'd tell them because I don't want the questions after about it. I told them I know it's major surgery, I know the risks and I'm not taking it lightly BUT I'm also not willing to get to 50 and still be this heavy when inside I have the energy and want to do things that I've put off long enough. That I've tried everything, including the lapband and here I am still needing help. They've been so supportive! I know that could change because people do get funny when they notice a friend who's getting healthier and feeling more confident but.....I figure that's when I know who are my true friends. At 47 I've already weaned out folks that were not a positive influence in my life - it took some hard lessons to learn to get there and I have what I believe are really great friends left and I cherish them. So I did tell a few but, definitely not everyone.

You're right it really is a very personal decision and journey for sure. There are many folks out there that don't believe in it and to be honest, for the longest time I would do anything BUT this but more so because I was so scared. After researching how long it's been around and the results people have gotten, even the really bad issues that I've read about...I now know it's for me. So I know others will have their opinions and that's cool and even better if they still support me like it or not and those that leave...well...weren't really my friend in the first place. huh? :)

You know sometimes these ad's do get in the way of the postings. Did you know that every time someone clicks on them and goes to the webpage they have to pay the site owner? That's how google does it anyway. Can get pretty pricey but, they say it really does draw a lot of business. I know I've clicked a few looking for the Protein supplements I'll be needing and the Vitamins. What kind of Protein drinks, Protein Bars etc do you like? Do you like certain Vitamins too?

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Blieve it or not my parents were my biggest opponents when I was banded...even though my father helped me pay my out of pocket expense. I really thought it was my last chance. Neither of them have ever had weight problems - my mom is in a size 14 and she thinks she is a hippo (literally) all she talks about is how fat she is. I call it the "barbie' mentality...they really don't understand. So even though I love them and they love me more than anything in this world, I chose not to tell them about RNY for a few reasons. #1 because they would worry and #2 they are the I told you sos from the band. It's a very sensative subject. It's weird now that I'm down 50 pounds they treat me differently. They have no idea how much this hurts me...I'm still me, you know? But I also know if I needed them they would be here for me. So for now, I'm keeping it to myself...I am going to order me a medical Bracelet since most people don't know about my surgery - I really don't need to risk the complications if I were in an accident and not able to let anyone know about my RNY.

I'm a huge dairy eater - always have been. I drink A LOT of milk, and eat a lot of chicken and yogurt. I get most of my Protein in my food, which is what my doctor recommends. I don't completely agree with everyone eating salads and taking nothing but supplements...but to each their own. I have tried the New whey powder and not a big fan and I probably need to add one supplement to my diet a day. With the band I was on the New Whey liquid Protein Bullets...however, we as RNY patients only absorb 1/2 of the Protein in them. As for Vitamin supplements, I am on Calcium citrate (not carbonite - it won't absorb) for my Calcium 4x a day (which I probably get in my food, but am following docs rules), I take the One A Dau Daily Multivitamins 2x a day (chewables) and I'm on nexium for my gerd/heartburn still 1x, and synthoid for my thyroid (I'm hypo).

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I totally agree with you on the salads and supplements. I want to get more of my Protein in it's regular Protein form vs shakes but of course on the liquid phase I have to find one I like. I think folks think the less calories they take in the quicker they lose but, your body slows way down if you take in too few. But like you said to each their own.

Sorry about how your parents have been...I hear you though. I did notice when I had my band and at my lowest weight with it that some people did treat me differently. it's like what I mentioned before, I'm sure some "friends" will disappear. My mom is ok support wise, she's struggles with her weight all the time but, isn't as overweight as she once was years ago. Anyway, when I told her she just said "whatever makes you happy" not sure that's enthusiasm but at least she didn't knock it. All I really care about is that hubby is on board. I haven't told my son yet....sometimes kids (well he's 21) don't see the weight in their moms although he struggled with his weight too. He started a low carb way of eating back in August of 2010 and has lost 65 pounds on his own. I totally supported him in that and we barely have carbs like bread in the house. I buy low carb, high Fiber wraps and Pasta and we all use it. But....I think he'll support me on it once I tell him. he knows how much my weight bothers me. Now my in-laws...that's a different story. don't think I'll be telling them for quite some time. They live 5.5 hours away so we see them every three months or so or for me every 6 months.

Did you get the gerd/heartburn from the band? Man mine got so bad. I'm still taking meds for it. I thought that would go away with the RNY surgery. Do you still have it?

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I developed heartburn so bad that it developed into GERD. It HURT to swallow Water at times. When I had my upper GI done they told my that my esophagus was no longer working...so liquids would go down but solids would get stuck in my throat. I was in tears constantly and at times would have sworn my throat was on fire.

I was on nexium for it (which helped) and took it for about a month post-op. However, I took myself off after about a month, partially because I didn't think I needed it anymore and the other finances (3 weeks without pay hurt a lot - after surgery)...I was having a lot of food tollerances and couldn't drink anything up to two hours after eating - the liquid and the food would come back on me. I went back to my surgeon for my two month appt a few weeks back and told the nurses and doctor. Needless to say I got my ass chewed for not taking it. They gave me a 30 day supply and told me next time call them and they would work out the money. I had to have it. Lesson learned. Since being back on the nexium I have had ZERO food tollerances nor drinking. I can now drink about 30 minutes after eating. It was horrible waiting two hours afterward...I was having dehydration issues...

To answer about improved heartburn, yes RNY really helped. Mine was so severe though that I still need it as a "newbie" rny patient...my tummy is still tender and they want to keep the acid down - makes sense...

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Nexium is really great. My insurance however stopped paying for it which made me have to switch. It was the first one that worked and worked well after trying 3 before it so I really hated to have to change. I was using one after that but, it wasn't working that well but, then I also had a terribly prolasp and ended up with the band coming out. While in the hospital with the NGTube, that doctor gave me Protonix and man that one works really well. I'm still taking it today because it has a generic form which my insurance allows. I'm sending you a private message about the antacids.....take a peek.

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Hellooooooo anybody out there? How are you doing?

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Hey girl...i Still can't see anything on this thread but wanted to check and see how you are doing? Been a while since we've chatted. I hope others choose to join us :-)

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Is it just this thread you can't see? My husband is a techy maybe you need to adjust your screen. I had to do that with mine.

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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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