I think about 2 things all day, every day. What if I die and my kids don't have a mother? What if I don't die and my kids have a healthy, fun, thin, happy mom? My baby will never even know me.

It seems like either way I'm making the wrong decision. I know I'll never lose the weight without the surgery. But I would rather my kids have a fat mom than no mom.

I'm scheduled 10/14. Ahhhhh!

A "fat mom" is an unhealthy mom that could develope major weight-related issues and become no mom

Your not going to die, think positive have trust in your surgeon that he or she will do a good job. It will be over before you know it...

I think the odds of dying are very slim. Particularly if you don't have any other serious health conditions! I think it's completely normal to worry, but I'd put money on you being just fine!

You are a great mom just for the mere fact you are questioning this. I grew up with a fat mom and I in turn became a fat child and subsequently a fat adult. I watched my mom suffer with obesity a majority of her life and I wish she could have experienced just 1 day of how wonderful I feel post VSG surgery. Your risk of dying was much higher during child birth and you made it through that. You've got this!

Your children will benefit from watching you

Oops hit post on accident. I think our children gain habits from us. I have an 18 month old and my view point on food after surgery changed so much. For the most part I eat for fuel. I think I would have lead my son into my habits without the sleeve. Quality of life not quantity of food .

This is extremely normal thoughts to have beforehand. We are human and this is one of the common emotions we have.

1) Trust the research you've done to get to this point.

2) Trust your choice of surgeon.

3) Remember why you you nade gge decision to go down this path.

4) Dream of what you can become.

5) This will also help you kids and spouse learn what is bad and good to ear. Making your family much healthier in the long run.

I had these same thoughts; I even went as far as writing my wife and kids a note just in case. I stopped being nervous once I woke up from the anestsia.

I'm 19 days out and I so happy I made this decision. I'm angry that I waited so long.

Good Luck!!

We all fear the things we don't know about. And being in an operating Tom is something many people really do not know much about. I am a RN mad been in the operating room day after day. That fear isn't there for me. Others are tho. Put your self in Gods hands and all will be well. He has given our doctors the abilities and knowledge to do this door us. You will be fine!!!! And thin very soon!!!

We all fear the things we don't know about. And being in an operating Tom is something many people really do not know much about. I am a RN mad been in the operating room day after day. That fear isn't there for me. Others are tho. Put your self in Gods hands and all will be well. He has given our doctors the abilities and knowledge to do this door us. You will be fine!!!! And thin very soon!!!

Well, I am an RN too. Soooo I know too much, that's the problem.

Ok....

So I read some of the threads you have started, and, well, most if them are full of doubts and fears.

At least three are about dying, and several about not being ready so...

My take away? My opinion?

Your not ready. Plain and simple you are going into this with too many doubts.

Now I'm not saying that all of us should just feel "hey no problem let me just take the leap".

But I measured the risks and in my case (yes I have children I adore) it was a death sentence to stay obese (serious health problems)

I really feel that in your heart of hearts you feel this is not a good move for you?

I don't know... But if you go to your profile and look at all your started threads and read them again you might figure out why this might be a mistake.

Going in with so many doubts, ends up in regrets most of the time.

I think fear of leaving your children is perfectly natural. I think I'd be more worried about your state of mind if you weren't scared of the worst-case-scenario.

Only you can know if you're ready for this step. So, while it's important to take into consideration the thoughts of those of us seeing your journey from the outside, you ultimately have to trust yourself to make the right decision for you.

When making my decision, I found that my head was swimming from all of the information (and negativity) on these forums. I found myself looking at this life change through the lens of other peoples' struggles. It may be a good idea to step away from the keyboard for a while and just really consider how this change will affect your life.

Again, the risks are very low, but not absent. If, in your mind (not anyone elses!) the risks are not worth the benefits, don't do this. If you feel like the benefits in your life outweigh the possibility of complications, then go for it! Again, may be a good idea to step away from these forums for a while. I think they can be a little toxic sometimes, unfortunately.

Ok....

So I read some of the threads you have started' date=' and, well, most if them are full of doubts and fears.

At least three are about dying, and several about not being ready so...

My take away? My opinion?

Your not ready. Plain and simple you are going into this with too many doubts.

Now I'm not saying that all of us should just feel "hey no problem let me just take the leap".

But I measured the risks and in my case (yes I have children I adore) it was a death sentence to stay obese (serious health problems)

I really feel that in your heart of hearts you feel this is not a good move for you?

I don't know... But if you go to your profile and look at all your started threads and read them again you might figure out why this might be a mistake.

Going in with so many doubts, ends up in regrets most of the time.[/quote']

Well, idk. I would be terrified of dying if I was going in to have an exploded appendix removed or a cancerous tumor. I am scared of everything. My fears are irrational most of the time and I know this. I'm scared of living this life feeling like **** all the time. I'm scared of dying in surgery. Idk if that means I'm not ready. It could just mean I'm not ignorant.

After the episode I just had in my closet, I think I'm willing to risk it. My health IS bad. At preadmission testing the MD told me I'm basically a medical trainwreck waiting to happen. Pre diabetes, liver enzymes sky high, insulin resistance. I'm not sick now, but I could be soon.

Well, idk. I would be terrified of dying if I was going in to have an exploded appendix removed or a cancerous tumor. I am scared of everything. My fears are irrational most of the time and I know this. I'm scared of living this life feeling like **** all the time. I'm scared of dying in surgery. Idk if that means I'm not ready. It could just mean I'm not ignorant.

After the episode I just had in my closet, I think I'm willing to risk it. My health IS bad. At preadmission testing the MD told me I'm basically a medical trainwreck waiting to happen. Pre diabetes, liver enzymes sky high, insulin resistance. I'm not sick now, but I could be soon.

Like I said I'm just going off of the things I've read by you..

I don't think it's as black and white as to someone being ignorant when going into this with peace in their hearts.

If you feel that this will benefit your health and you are willing to put in the work to do it, and the benefits outweigh the risks? Then by all means go for it!

As for the episode in your closet..yes those can be frustrating. And for some that's all it takes to make the choice.

you are very young and have a very young babies! I can see where this might be more nerve racking...

Take it easy. Have you talked to a therapist? Maybe your surgeons practice has one on referral. It's normal to be scared and maybe talking to a professional, someone who has counseled lots of weight loss surgery patients, can help you control your anxiety. And/Or go to some preop support groups. You will learn that you are not much different from the other people there. I was terrified too. Listening to others and telling a professional how scared I was really calmed me down.

You are a great mom just for the mere fact you are questioning this. I grew up with a fat mom and I in turn became a fat child and subsequently a fat adult. I watched my mom suffer with obesity a majority of her life and I wish she could have experienced just 1 day of how wonderful I feel post VSG surgery. Your risk of dying was much higher during child birth and you made it through that. You've got this!

That's a wonderful response!