Band-Failure or Me-Failure ?
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I was banded in October 2009 at my highest of 290 pounds. Over the course of just 6 months I made it down to 230. That's when I started having problems. For a while, I wasn't able to eat anything except for protein shakes, so made it down to about 205 - but not the healthy way. Had a complete unfill and that's when it all went down hill. I was able to eat again! So, I ATE!!!! gained 20 pounds in just two months (how embarassing). Was able to regain control a bit and basically yo-yoed the same 10-15 pounds since then, now at 235 and feeling FAT!! The band is definitely not working for me. HOWEVER.... I am also not working the bad. I have learned how to "eat around the band" - choosing foods that I know I can easily eat, adding lots of oils/greases so that it slides through, etc. If I eat the lean protein and veggies, then I get stuck, have horrible pain, and sometimes vomit. But, that's usaully becuase I am not eating them properly (not chewing to a paste). Even when I am chewing to a paste, I still feel so akward that it takes me 20 minutes to eat what other people eat in 20 seconds. I work on a ship and spend 6 months at a time eating food which is cooked for me, 3 times per day, with my colleagues. Though I know for sure that the band is not working for me, I'm worried that I will do exactly the same thing with the sleeve. Somehow figure out a way to eat around the sleeve (don't even know if that is possible). I am self pay, and am trying to decide if I should pay $5,000 to have the band removed, or just $3,000 more to have the sleeve put in at the same time. Or, just keep on suffering and getting more fat? Or, maybe I need an adjustment (both my band and my head). Or maybe just try doing an actual diet while still having the band? I feel like I'm searching desperately for a tool to help me, but that there simply isn't one that actually works. I'm thuroughly confused and simply mad at myself for failing. Help!