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Finding "True North" has been my best, most unexpected NSV of them all...when the End of the Road is overtaken by the Journey.



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I want to take a second and explain why I listed this in Success Stories, as opposed to other forums that depending on the individual it might seem more relevant. I put it here because it is not just relevant to veterans, or it is just about food, or coping, or 'finding myself'. It is an NSV; in addition to everything else I consider it a vital part of who I am now and wanted to share with my support community.

I have come to adopt a way of life now, or honestly I feel more often anymore that it has adopted me, it is something I have come to call my "True North". It is a paradigm shift, it is incredibly simple but seems so deceptively complex, but it is not complex at all. It is the small steps that along the way have helped me cope and become who I needed to be in order to succeed post VSG.

Everything I do I ask myself, gently, is this making me happy? Is this helping me heal? Sometimes it is physical as I experienced complications, or mental as I deal with losing my Mom (she died a week after my surgery). Maybe it is the dreaded combination of the two - the head hunger and thirst and heartburn for some noteworthy examples – just constant questions of “does this put me where I need to be”.

I just return to the Goal of Me, by asking am I healing by doing this? Is this lining up with my needs and goals and abilities? If I were a compass, by doing this, am I pointing to my True North?

At first I shouted it at myself and it was so harmful, looking back, I had this strong person, yet really frail and tired and I almost pushed too much. I was able to catch myself, with the extraordinary love of my Husband - I will never understand how he even stood me sometimes. I don’t question it too much however, and that is a part of the process. I just try to reciprocate and shine back to him what he offered to me. That comes back to the True North. I love to love my Husband. It is the ‘N’ on my compass, so I reciprocate all I can. food is that way now also. I love the foods that love me back. In the process I try to stay away from any treats or the thought process that would associate a poor choice of food from being a "treat". Each bite for me I try to make it an active choice, an aware process and I tell myself "I am not what I was, I am not what I will be tomorrow, and this gets me there, while celebrating this moment." Food is for me to guide now, not the other way around. I FEEL alive when I eat bright, colorful, foods full of life. I am the energy 10x returned for the energy expended to learn about, choose, and prepare and even grow my meals. Exercise is much the same, and of course there is the less fun moments like work, traffic and bills, bunny poop and mosquitoes and Mondays. I just make an effort to live each moment, and in that instance also gently keep my needle pointing ‘N’.

Be awesome to yourself and keep pointing ‘N’!

Namaste.

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Thank you Pookeyism. This post was perfect. I needed that!

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This is one of the best posts I've read. Thanks for the reminder!

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Ok, fairly new here... and trying to figure out what is NSV? Googled it and came up with No-Scalpel Vasectomy, National Socialist Vanguard, Net Sales Value,... so which is it????

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Ok' date=' fairly new here... and trying to figure out what is NSV? Googled it and came up with No-Scalpel Vasectomy, National Socialist Vanguard, Net Sales Value,... so which is it????[/quote']

Non-scale victory. Although I do like mo-scalpel vasectomy too.....

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I'll have to remember that! Thanks The No-Scalpel Vasectomy cracked me up...

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Wow.....what an insightful post. Thank you for giving me something to chew on. (Yes, pun intended).

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I love your thought process here. I've had to do that with toxic friendships in the past. I've had to ask myself if those friendships made me happy and whether they brought out the best in me.

I also love what you said about being gentle and kind to yourself. Great ideas.

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Great thoughts come from great minds.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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