I went in to get all my preop testing done today 3 hours ...smh....but everything is looking good so far for my surgery on the 10th just waiting on insurance approval which i was told yesterday i should know by tuesday if i got approved or not.....after feeling soo ready and calm about the whole thing my 9 year decided to ask questions of what type of surgery i was having and whyy? Of course i wanted to sit down and tell all 3 kids before my surgery but he overheard my daughter talking and had to ask and immediately starting crying, hugging me and telling me he doesn't want me to die :'( boy that just tore me apart i tried not to cry while watching him tell me all this it was sooo hard .....i did sit and explained everything to him and why mommy was having this done he seemed to understand but can't get that idea out of his head that someone can die from it so he is extremely sad but promised to pray for me every night and says he knows i am in God's hands .. :'((( talk about having second thoughts about the whole process now

Hey - not much time to type (trying to get 9 year old to bed) but will try to give more response later. Bottom line: I have a 9-year old too and we went through the EXACT same thing. I cancelled surgery twice b/c of it. Finally went through with reassurance to son and daughter that mommy had done her research and this was going to be very safe and a lot healthier. Had surgery, went great. So glad I did it!

You may not want to tell them this, but isn't your life more at risk not having the surgery if you unable to take the weight off? I think this is a good time to explain that life is full of risk and we must always equate what is least risky and that sometimes what seems less risky (not having the surgery, driving instead of flying) is not less risky when the facts are examined. But only you know what is best for your family.

Lynda

Please don't have second thoughts because of what a nine year old thinks or says. Reassure him as best you can, but rely on the information you have gathered and the adult reasoning you have applied to the situation. Your health and the quality of life you will share with your son are at stake. Perhaps you can give him some jobs to do to help you prepare and some to do when you are home from the hospital. That will give him something concrete to focus on.

My 13 year old had a real hard time with the same issue. She got really nasty about two weeks before my revision surgery and than broke down and said she didn't want me to die. It broke my heart but I kept communicating with her until I was taken to the OR that I would be ok and that I needed to do it for my health. She was so happy when she saw me in recovery. I think it is normal. I know I had my own fears about not waking up, so I can imagine what goes through our little ones minds. Hang in there. All will be well!!

Thanks everyone i really needed these words i couldn't hold it and broke down to cry myself after i put my kids to sleep but reading these posts have made me feel that i'm not alone and that others have already gone or are going through a similar situation. Even with my hubby i broke down 2 nights ago although i have 200% of his support he is even doing the liquid diet with me and even though he is not having surgery he says whatever you eat i will eat and i will stick to it till the end with you i ♥ him i ♥ everything he is doing for me, the other night as we were falling asleep i heard him say softly are you scared? I said yeeeeeees he said me toooo but he also said don't worry you'll be fine i am praying for you and am right here by your side don't feel alone, and yes it hasn't been easy with my kiddos but i think that now that i have explained that it's all for the better of my health they are accepting it atleast a bit, they wanna see me before and immediately after surgery they made that clear =) .......@Notime...i absolutely love your idea about giving them certain "jobs" to do so that they can help me get ready for this and after i am definately using this =)