I just lied!

[juarezgil 28]

I am a very private person, have only told some family and only 2 co-workers about my VSG. I ran in to a co worker that I have not seen for about 4months and he stated how great I looked after loosing weight , then asked ,"did u have surgery?" Right away I answered with a lie and denied it . Why do I feel so guilty ?

[SuzyB 182]

you feel guilty because you lied. I have only told a few people I am having surgery. I am hope that people do not ask directly if I had surgery, because I do not want to be dishonest.

[PracticingPatience 17]

What was the reason for the lie? That's likely where the guilt comes from. Meanwhile, asking about an acquaintance's medical history is a little intrusive. Sometimes people, well meaning as they might be, can leave others in a very awkward circumstance, such as "do I tell them I had surgery or deny it to make this conversation end?" When faced with the rude (even accidentally so) you do the best you can, and give yourself permission to be a little weird in your response. Personally, I have a policy not to answer overly person questions at all. I'll respond with a polite question such as "Why, are you considering surgery?" If they are, we might have a reason to talk about it,

[newat52 1,612]

I too, am a very private person. My medical history is my business and no one else's. First of all, I can't believe someone would ask that. I guess I'm also at the age where just because someone asks me a question, does not make me obligated to answer it. I would ask why they feel the need to ask such a personal question? Usually, they will stammer something like I was just curious, that's all. To which, I would reply, yes, I can see that. It will usually make them understand how rude they are.

I don't like to lie either but you do not need to disclose any information that you don't feel comfortable with, for whatever reason. Once you tell someone something, you can't undo it. This is your journey and if you feel best with being private about it then do not feel guilty about some moron who is not even a friend being in control of you and how you need to take this journey.

This needs to be about you, not someone else's opinion of a lie.

Don't feel guilty.

[Recycled 2,182]

Why not answer...."Just alot of healthy diet and exercise" ...... May not be the whole truth.....but it's still the truth. Besides, the surgery didn't cause you to lose weight. The type and amount of food you put into your mouth did. Maybe the surgery motivated you to eat less, but it was the eating less that resulted in your weight loss. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, so lay off the guilt. You have everything to be proud of and nothing to feel guilty about.

As far as them asking you if you had surgery....... It's none of their business anyway.

[JourneyToLife 119]

I haven't told but a few people who I know that had already had the surgery. I'm not announcing it on Facebook either. It's none of anyone's business and if they ask if I had surgery I would ask them why do you ask? Did you? It's your own journey to life, hence my screen name.

Good luck to everyone in their journey to life.

[Jerzygurl 372]

Just answer why? lol

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Whenever someone asks me a question I don't care to answer, I simply say, "Now why in the world would you ask someone a question like that?" and then smile at them as if they were a total asshat, which of course, they are.

[TES 858]

Whenever someone asks me a question I don't care to answer, I simply say, "Now why in the world would you ask someone a question like that?" and then smile at them as if they were a total asshat, which of course, they are.

LOL love it, LL. Also, your things you've learned from your sleeve are great...favorite one is that your eyes are bigger than your stomach, literally. LOL!!

[juarezgil 28]

I know its none of their buisness just was caught off guard with the blunt outright gull ! Thanks for all the positive comments guys . Im still learning how to react to peoples questions . I have been telling them diet and working out which is the truth . Just dont know where the shame comes from ? I have been over weight my whole life and have failed many diets lost 80 pounds then gain back 80 and then some . I think its just the negative stigma wt loss surgery has . When I told close family and friends some said why dont u just diet and exercise . Crap !!!! been there done that my whole life and failed . I know that I just have to learn to except that i really dont have to care what everyone else thinks, this is my life and so far I m loving life as a healthy thin person. My surgery was May 1st and so far have lost 61 # starting wt was 257 and current wt is 196. I finally reached onederland !!!!

[JourneyToLife 119]

I know its none of their buisness just was caught off guard with the blunt outright gull ! Thanks for all the positive comments guys . Im still learning how to react to peoples questions . I have been telling them diet and working out which is the truth . Just dont know where the shame comes from ? I have been over weight my whole life and have failed many diets lost 80 pounds then gain back 80 and then some . I think its just the negative stigma wt loss surgery has . When I told close family and friends some said why dont u just diet and exercise . Crap !!!! been there done that my whole life and failed . I know that I just have to learn to except that i really dont have to care what everyone else thinks' date=' this is my life and so far I m loving life as a healthy thin person. My surgery was May 1st and so far have lost 61 # starting wt was 257 and current wt is 196. I finally reached onederland !!!![/quote']

WTG on your journey of weight loss. I have to say that I just would tell them no to avoid any negative comments. This is not my first rodeo. I know I have to eat less and exercise, duh!

[aliekat55 157]

The lie is natural, for one it isnt their business, for two they will not keep it to themselves so your answer is like taking an ad for everyone to know. I tell them i hardly eat anything--how true! and that i exercise an hour a day--also true.

unfortunately in my experience people are rather smart about these things and any prevarication will be taken as a yes. I have not had anyone ask me that directly , so I will see when that comes up. So far my back up prevarication is that i decided to get a 'touch of chemo' for the weight loss benefit. i wait a second before smiling and indicating I am joking. It always changes the subject but it does tend to go over the line every once in a while.

[Michellemo 161]

I don't like people who lie but I see a difference in lying just for the sake of lying and lying about something that is no ones business! Stop feeling bad. I also keep my surgery a secret and I have no problem telling people who ask me if I had weight loss surgery that no I haven't! I'm not ashamed I had surgery its just not anyone's business.

[Melixxa 125]

Who raised all these people coming right out and asking others if they've had surgery?!?

Maybe it's because I live in a small town in Canada, where it's prettty uncommon to hear that someone has had weight loss surgery, but I'm kind of stunned that someone would be so rude. I'm keeping my surgery very private, so I'm off to try and think of a snappy response if someone ever corners me like that!

[2btrim 129]

I know its none of their buisness just was caught off guard with the blunt outright gull ! Thanks for all the positive comments guys . Im still learning how to react to peoples questions . I have been telling them diet and working out which is the truth . Just dont know where the shame comes from ? I have been over weight my whole life and have failed many diets lost 80 pounds then gain back 80 and then some . I think its just the negative stigma wt loss surgery has . When I told close family and friends some said why dont u just diet and exercise . Crap !!!! been there done that my whole life and failed . I know that I just have to learn to except that i really dont have to care what everyone else thinks' date=' this is my life and so far I m loving life as a healthy thin person. My surgery was May 1st and so far have lost 61 # starting wt was 257 and current wt is 196. <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> I finally reached onederland !!!![/quote']

I am pre- sleeve, and hoping to have my surgery in late Sept or early Oct. I am a hairdresser, and I see all types of people and personalities. Now I live in the south out in the country and there is a phrase we use to describe people who would ask something like that. "They just don't have any gumption" which is to mean, no common sense or just plain ole weren't taught any better! To those people who ask, I'm just going to smile and say " i just decided it was time to make some changes in my life" and leave it at that. Now, I think the reason we feel bad about not wanting to tell people, is because I think so many people judge it as a cop out and see us as failures at being able to control our weight. Too much of society still see's "those weight loss people" as lazy and weak. Sometimes I think they view us as a bunch of slobs. This makes me sad, because this type of judgmental attitude is hurtful, ignorant and prejudice. Even if we have the surgery and lose all the weight, some people will still see separate us from those who in their opinion, lost it the right way. It's so sad to know that respect is lost because of the decision to have WLS. People just don't have a clue what sacrifices are made with this choice.